A year or so ago, I posted a story here about my constant harassment living here in Paris.
After being followed and chased by a guy who exposed himself to me and tried to get into my apartment building after following me across the city, I decided to move to an area that would hopefully be safer. But I was wrong.
Three months ago I moved to a completely new area where I am paying more than double the rent I was paying before, just so I could live in a safe area and feel secure knowing that these things won’t happen to me. I do still experience street harassment here, like comments and leering, but not as much as before, until about a month ago.
Then, a month ago, I came out of my front door to go to work very early in the morning. It was still pitch dark, with no one around at all. As I walked out of my door, a car, which was right outside my door, started driving.
As I walked, I realised that the car was driving slowly behind me. I was walking along the footpath with cars along my side between me and the road. As soon as I got to an open driveway, the guy in the car deliberately and quickly drove up in front of me, blocking the driveway so I could not have got past and would have been right at his car door with nowhere to go. Luckily, I was hyper aware and as he drove up over the driveway, I ran around the front of the car and ran as fast as I could up the street. He reversed out and chased after me in his car.
I got to the end of the street and turned right. He followed and did the same as before, blocking the path. I turned and ran left as fast as I could and ran until I got to a cafe that was opening up with someone inside. The man in the car sat and watched me.
I was so terrified and in shock, and it didn’t occur to me to call the police.
A month later (two days ago), I had to go to work at the same time as I had that day, so I asked my girlfriend to walk with me. We stepped outside my front gate, and the car was waiting in exactly the same place and he started the engine immediately as I stepped outside. He drove out along the road but we stopped, I saw him and realised he was there and that he was the same guy. He also saw that I was with someone. I began to panic and couldn’t breathe.
He drove a few cars down the street and pulled in to park. My girlfriend and I turned and ran the other way.
But, I knew I couldn’t live like this. I wanted to report him. So we walked back and took his number plate. But we had to get close to the car to do it. As we stood and looked at the plate, he got out of the car. We turned and ran as fast as we could the other way and he got back in the car.
Yesterday, we reported it to the police and my description of him matched the owner of the car. They said that they will ring him today and tell him to stop. They gave me a personal number to call if I see him, and told me to check before leaving my place. If I see him I am to call them and they will come immediately.
Their response has made me feel supported, but I am still living in fear.
Last night I went out with my friends, had a couple of drinks, and then we are sure that someone put something in my drink. I was paralyzed and lost consciousness. I was taken in an ambulance and spent the night in the emergency until I could walk about 5 hours later.
So, my plan for moving to a safe neighborhood was obviously optimistic. No matter where you are, no matter what you do, it just seems to keep happening.
What more can we do? I now never walk alone, which obviously means my entire life is now dictated by these men and their behaviour and my freedom, peace and happiness is constantly affected by them.
– Grace
Location: Paris, le Marais
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Ed Drain says
Your post saddens me and puts me in fear for you. There is an organization out there called HereWomenTalk.org, it is more of a radio show kind of place, but they have a woman named Susan Murphy Milano who is an expert on the kind of thing you are talking about. I think maybe you should contact her. You should also contact any organization you think might help in your area. Surround yourself with friends. Good luck to you.
beckie says
I’m so glad you were able to call the police. I am so sorry you aren’t safe. I would call that police number A Lot! Until that horrid man is caught. You are doing everything you can. I am hoping good days ahead for you and feel hopeful because of your vigilance.
Claire says
Oh Grace this just makes me physically sick to my stomach and made me cry. You know you have my absolute support and complete understanding of it all, and especially of all the different thoughts and feelings this entails, after 17 years of my own intense harassment on the streets of Paris. I am so glad we met on here and became friends. Head high and be strong, seeking help is the right thing.