“I am a feminist, yet I am a victim”

I yelled “balash elit adab w 2araf’ [I don’t want disrespect and disgust], which he responded “ba2a keda?” [Like that, eh?] – And then he followed me to my house all while making further obscene comments.

There was nothing I could do to protect myself from this bully – I was helpless.

Protests:

I moved back to Egypt on July 5^th. On July 8^th there was a million man march and the beginning of a sit-in. That Friday was my first ever protest in Egypt. I dressed appropriately and took to the streets with immeasurable excitement. Given that I moved back to Egypt for the revolution, I thought nothing could taint my first experience in a protest – I was wrong.

A man approached with his three friends and asked about the color of my bra – apparently he preferred white ones. I yelled and said that I would scream if he said anything which made him and his friends laugh loudly – at me – declaring that I am crazy but a ‘hottie,’ and a crazy-hottie combo would be great in bed. I pulled out my pepper spray but it failed to reach my monsters.

The day continued along the same lines, I got groped several times, one of which was actually from the front (I did not know that was even possible), and another by a 12 year old CHILD who I caught and yelled at. I was scared and felt vulnerable although equipped with my knife and pepper spray. There was nothing I could do and it felt awful.

The Streets:

There is no ‘that street’ story because there are countless street stories. They all revolve around the same thing: being verbally and quite often physically assaulted by men. Forget the catcalls, and the comments (I was once told that I am attractive, but would be much more attractive if I lost some weight), but the physical harassment is unbearable.

My street story is by no means special. I was walking home, turning at a corner, when a man’s hand came out of a car window and groped me (it was painful). The car had 4 or 5 guys and I could hear them laugh at my humiliation. I continued walking, feeling disgusted when the car appeared again, and one of the guys in the car so kindly suggested that it was obvious that I wanted to get groped again.

Yeah, that felt awful too.

…

Reality:

The worst thing that I face as a woman who refuses to let such actions hinder or inhibit her is the feeling of helplessness. I am a feminist, yet I am a victim. I know for a fact yelling back or even screaming at harassers is effective, some do actually apologize when shamed, but I also know that NOTHING will stop these men except actual punishment. I am a woman who never uses the metro, microbuses, buses and I rarely use taxis, yet I face this much harassment. I can only imagine what the women who do use public transportation face on a daily basis. I presume I’d have to multiply my experiences by a hundred.

I do not pray often, but I pray that the day comes when I feel safe walking the streets of Egypt; I walk them now anyway, but I feel weak, vulnerable and helpless and it feels awful.

–An Egyptian Woman.