Sadly this isn’t the first story that I’ve shared on this site but I’m hoping it will be my last. I was riding the train to downtown St. Louis, MO, today to see the All American Rejects perform at The Taste of St. Louis. I was waiting on the train at the landing station and notice this man looking at me up and down and he said, “Damn, how you doin,” or something like that. That was annoying to see him eying me the way he did but annoying or not, I can brush that off, no big deal, but what I can’t brush off is him pulling out his penis and pleasuring himself while watching me.
Yep, ladies, as I was digging through my bag I look behind me and notice this same man pleasuring himself watching me and he said, “Yeah, yeah,” nodding his head as I caught him, as if he was doing nothing wrong. I yelled, “That’s disgusting!” and walked off. That’s when he ran off. There was no security guard there to tell (even though one is always suppose to be there) so I tell a lady there and she is also offended. I get on my train and make sure not to let it run my night.
However, on the way back from the concert I go to another train stop and tell the guard what happened at the landing station. What made me even more mad than the actual perverted event was the guard downplaying it saying that happens all the time and his friend asked how old I was and that if I’m not underage, I shouldn’t be offended and it’s 2012. He implied that I should take it as a compliment and said if I found the guy attractive, I probably wouldn’t be so offended. I tell him that no person that I would find attractive would do that and how would he like it if he had a daughter and some man did that to her.
I also explained to him that as women we are always in vulnerable positions cause we physically aren’t as strong as men and he’s like, “He didn’t touch you though did he”? and I said no but I don’t know what anyone who is disturbed enough to do that would do. It was a total waste of breath trying to explain. Next thing I know this same man arguing with me invites me for a drink. I actually got the creeps from him because I could see him getting angry when I was explaining how I had every right to be offended. Obviously I didn’t go get a drink with him and didn’t give him my number but took his when he insisted. Only reason I took it (then deleted it) was because he gave me the creeps and seemed like he would be the type if I hurt his ego, he may end up getting rough and I could see the guard at the station who was his friend thought this was no big deal so if anything were to happen. I know I wouldn’t have backup.
It’s sad that as a woman I even have to take a guys number that I would never date or call just to make sure I’m not hurting his ego enough to where he would do something crazy if I were to say no to his face. There really needs to be something done about the protection of girls and women that ride public transportation. I am sure any woman who has had to ride it on the regular, has been harassed a time or two at least but we should never be desensitized to it no matter how “normal” it is and its disgusting how easily its dismissed.
– Jessica
Location: Metrolink, downtown St. Louis, MO, USA
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10/2/12 UPDATE: A SSH reader was mad about this story and contacted the transit authority in St. Louis. This is what she reported back:
“So I just got a phone call in response to my comment on the transit site. I think the guy didn’t read my note completely because he thought it was me who had been harassed, but I let him know that I was writing because I was appalled at how it was handled, not because it happened to me. I reminded him that I had posted a link to the story and he could probably get in touch with the person it happened to that way to get the details. He also agreed it was disgusting, and said they are eager to follow up on this. So to the person who this happened to, please contact them, they are definitely interested in sorting this out! The number he called from was 314-982-1400 so I think you can contact them that way.”
John Bartelloni says
Report the guard. His response was both inappropriate and insensitive.
Click on this web site and scroll to the bottom of the page: http://www.metrostlouis.org/CustomerSupport/ReachCustomerSupport.aspx
Daron says
You are right, it is a sad trend. Though I am without surprise, I am saddened at the lack of empathy or sympathy that you received from the guard regarding this event. To me as a man, it has NEVER been acceptable to behave this way toward a woman, regardless as to how attractive she may be. That is not evidence of attraction, but a very unsettling, and downright ungodly lustful desire. I am thankful you were not harmed, and know I am praying for you that you will not be a witness/victim to such event again.
Natalie says
Yes, report the guard. If you don’t know his name than the time you were at the Landing Station would be good enough.
Jessica says
Im the woman this happened to. I want to thank the person who contacted metro on my behalf. I sincerely appreciate that and its made me think how we really do need to stand up for eachother as women. When this happens on public transportation maybe we all need to make phone calls and emails on eachothers behalf. I did call metro today and talked to a customer service rep about what happened. I just told her a brief summary and she said the head of security would call me back but I did not receive a call back today. I will make sure to call again tomorrow. The incident is just one thing I want to talk to him about because I also want to talk to him about doing more in general to protect girls and women that have to ride public transportation. I constantly hear about how “safe” our metro system is and I just have to shake my head. I see so many advertisements on the train telling young people to get tested and thats great but I would really like to see some ads and posters about stopping the harassment of girls and women on public transit.
Alan says
I know that pursuing these situations takes so much energy. energy that was probably more than drained by the incident in the first place. I hope Jessica has enough to go after these guys!
Jessica says
This is Jessica again. I also ended up running into two women that work for metro who read this story and talking to the people who have read it, there seems to be a bit of confusion. I thought I wrote it in detail clearly but since this is something serious, I want to make sure its understood by all.
I arrived at the landing station to catch the west bound to another station so I could go to the taste of st louis in which the band the all american rejects were playing. There was no guard on that particular platform even though there shouldve been one up there. Only people there were me, this other woman and the pervert. He spoke to me at one end of the platform saying damn girl or some typical drivel like that. I ignored it and walked to the other end of the platform to get away from him. I started to dig through my bag and looked behind me and there he was masturbating while watching me. I screamed thats disgusting and rush over to the other end of the platform and tell the other woman there. He had already run off by that point.
Since there was no guard there, I probably shouldve hit the intercom button to tell someone right then and im beating myself up that I didnt but I didnt think about it at the time and honestly even though I was disturbed by it, I was thankful I wasnt touched and wanted to go on and enjoy my night. I knew on the way back Id get off at another stop to tell the guard there which is the stop I normally go to catch the train home. So on my way back, thats just what I did and tell that guard at this metro stop and that guard totally dismissed it, downplayed it and didnt report it.
He had a friend there talking to him and the friend heard everything I was saying and he was the one who said all those disrespectful things and then proceeded to ask me out. I took his number because I felt like saying no to his face may cause a bigger problem and didnt trust that the guard would protect me in the event of something happening since he was letting his friend talk to me that way and didnt seem to think what happened was something threatening. So wanted to make that clear that it was the friend who said those things and then hit on me not the guard although other times in the past I and im sure other women as well have been flirted with and hit on by some of the guards and bus drivers.