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Miss D.C. speaks out

May 25, 2010 By HKearl

Image via Miss DC

In follow-up to yesterday’s post, I was able to connect with Jen Corey, the current Miss D.C. She graciously agreed to answer a few questions for me about her experiences with street harassment to help raise awareness about this issue.

(And if you’re in the Washington, D.C. area, you can catch her tomorrow on NBC’s “Daily Connection” from 2-3 p.m. EDT. She will be speaking about her harassment experiences. UPDATE – awesome news clip from Miss D.C. from NBC and around minute 3:30 she mentions HollaBack DC! and Stop Street Harassment)

HK: How old were you when boys or men started harassing you in public places?

JC: I was probably about 12 or 13. I was very tall for my age (about 5’8″ in middle school) so men assumed I was much older. It actually happened in front of my mom frequently and she would have to step in and say something.

HK: About how often do men harass you in public places?

JC: Extremely often. I work in Georgetown so I would say most days of the week as I’m walking down the crowded streets for lunch, someone will say something or stop in front of me and look me up and down. I also take the metro every day so I get yelled at from cars while walking to and from the metro.

HK: What impact does street/public harassment have on your life?

JC: It’s been very upsetting. I had a traumatizing experience a few years ago in Adams Morgan. I was getting all of my girl friends into a cab in front of the McDonald’s. I was the last to get in and as I was standing there, a car full of men pulled up behind me and a large man reached out and slapped me so hard on my backside that I fell face first into the cab. My friends didn’t even realize what happened at first because it sounded like a car had run over a water bottle. The men just laughed and drove away while I stood in the street crying. There were officers on the side of the road, but they did nothing. My cab driver yelled at me to get into the cab so we could follow the car, but by then I was in pain and just wanted to go home. I had a bruise on my chin and a black and blue hand print on my backside for a week.

I refused to go back there for a long time. And when I first started going back I would demand to stay sober, thinking that I could “protect” the other girls I was with.

HK: Do you feel the harassment has changed since you became Miss DC? If so, how?

JC: I don’t think it’s changed because most of the time that it happens now, I am not wearing my crown and sash. It’s just as frequent. It happens when I’m all dressed up going to an event, or when I’m leaving the gym with my hair in a ponytail wearing sweats.

HK: Where do you draw the line regarding what you find to be acceptable and unacceptable interactions between strangers in public?

JC: I don’t want to be disrespected. More than anything, I don’t want to be touched. Don’t grab my hand when I walk by and ask me “where’s your smile?” Don’t walk past me, stop and look me up and down saying “daaammmnnnnn.” I don’t expect every guy to leave me alone when I’m out, and I don’t even mind cheesy pick up lines. I just want to be respected and I don’t think that it’s too much to ask.

HK: How do you usually respond to harassers and what response/s has/have been the most empowering for you?

CJ: Well I definitely don’t go around hitting them, although, this incident over the weekend was not the first time I had to. I used to ignore it, but now I assess the situation (and my potential risk of getting hurt) and act accordingly. Most of the time I get in their face (since I’m almost 6 feet tall, we look eye to eye) and say something like, “Did you really think that was going to work?” or “Don’t touch me. I’m bigger than you.” And I always tell another guy that I know or think I can trust near by about what happened. This way if the creep comes back, I have someone else backing me up.

HK: Do you have any suggestions for other women about how to deal with this kind of harassment?

CJ: Don’t ignore it. That’s the problem. Certain men do this because they think they can get away with it. If you don’t feel comfortable doing something yourself, then tell someone near by.

HK: Do you have any ideas or plans for addressing this issue in DC?

CJ: I will be going on NBC on Wednesday, May 26, to talk about the issue. If I can be a voice for other women who are fed up, then I will do whatever I can to make things right.

This is not OK or something we should ignore. Getting grabbed is NOT just something that’s part of the bar scene and should be accepted. I have every right, as an American, to go out and not be touched or hit.

I am so glad Jen is speaking out about this. All women should have the right to go places without experiencing unwanted touching and harassment from men. Find ideas for what you can do to help end this problem. And if you’re in the DC area, check out the anti-street harassment work of HollaBack DC! and Defend Yourself and how you can get involved.

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Filed Under: Activist Interviews, News stories, street harassment Tagged With: adams morgan, georgetown, Jen Corey, Miss DC, Miss DC harassment, sexual harassment, street harassment

Two year blogiversary & book giveaway

May 25, 2010 By HKearl

I am giving away a free, signed copy of my forthcoming book about street harassment to commemorate the two-year anniversary of my blog (it’s tomorrow) & to honor all of the brave individuals who have shared their stories.

Who: YOU! Your friends, your family, your colleagues, your neighbors, etc.

What: Random drawing of names to determine the winner of the Stop Street Harassment book giveaway.

When: You have until 7:30 p.m. EDT on 5/26/10 to email me to be included. I’ll post the winner on this blog and email them around 8 p.m. EDT on 5/26. The book is available Aug. 30, and the winner will receive a mailed copy soon after that date.

Where: Email stopstreetharassmentATyahooDOTcom with your name.*

Why: To celebrate two years of blogging and collecting street harassment stories. A book giveaway is especially fitting as several blog posts from my first year are excerpted in it and many of my blog readers participated in the survey that helps inform the narrative.

How can you get the book if you don’t win?

You can pre-order the book today on Barnes & Noble (best price) or on Amazon.com. You can purchase it there starting on Aug. 30. My publisher mainly distributes to libraries, so in the fall, hopefully you can find it at a library near you.

And I’ll be doing another book give away on the book release date, August 30, so you can enter again then!

Two years…

Thank you for speaking out against street harassment and for showing the prevalence of this problem in women’s lives across these past two years. Let’s keep raising our voices and fighting this issue so that one day public places can be safe and welcoming for women!

* Note: I will not share your email address with anyone. However, unless you specify you do not want me to, I may include you in future emails about book-related news or street harassment events.

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Filed Under: Events, Resources, street harassment Tagged With: stop street harassment, street harassment book giveaway

Miss D.C. doesn’t like street harassment!

May 24, 2010 By HKearl

Image via Miss DC

As my colleagues at HollaBack DC! show on their blog & map, Washington, D.C., is a hotbed of street harassment. Unsurprisingly, Miss D.C. is not immune to it.

Jen Corey, the current Miss D.C., said she avoids Adams Morgan and sticks to Georgetown or Dupont when she goes out at night because of the groping and sexual harassment she experiences at Adams Morgan. But this past Friday night, three different men in Georgetown disrespectfully and inappropriately touched her. By man number three she was fed up and slammed him against a wall.

From The Examiner:

“After this weekend, it seems Corey has taken this issue to be her latest platform, telling us ‘there is no reason for a girl to have to worry about being slapped … or touched when we go out.'”

Absolutely! I’m thrilled that Jen is bringing attention to harassment in public places – particularly to the disgusting groping that happens.

In my work on street harassment, I usually exclude discussing bars and clubs because it’s more acceptable to approach someone with the intent of meeting them there than it is on the street or at a bus stop. Also, you shouldn’t have to but if you really want to you can stop going to bars and clubs without much inconvenience (as I did a few times in college after being groped and grinded on when I did NOT want to be), but it’s pretty inconvenient to try to avoid your own street corner, bus stop, or neighborhood grocery store because of harassers.

That said, harassment, especially touching, happens FAR too often in public nightlife venues and it shouldn’t. Women should have the right to enjoy going out without being constantly approached and touched and chatted up. This harassment & assault must end!

Men at clubs, bars, and pubs, here is a message: Be respectful & above all else, keep your hands (& all other body parts) to yourselves unless you’ve been given explicit consent by the woman!

(thanks for the story tip @claudiaAAUW)

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Filed Under: News stories, street harassment Tagged With: adams morgan, groping, Jen Corey, Miss DC, Miss USA, street harassment

Documenting street harassment on maps

May 21, 2010 By HKearl

Does street harassment really happen that often? Doesn’t it just happen in big cities? Doesn’t it just happen in “bad” neighborhoods?

Maps are an easy way to help SHOW that street harassment happens all the time and everywhere. Do you want to help raise awareness about street harassment? Consider doing so with maps.

1. When you share your street harassment stories for this blog, add the location so I can add it to my Global Street Harassment Map. You can do the same if you live in Washington, DC, and submit a story to HollaBack DC!

2. Donate to Hollaback NYC’s Kickstart initiative to launch a phone app that will allow anyone to map their street harassment incident in real time (they have until May 28 to raise $12k – please help now!).

3. Create your own map of street harassment incidents, just as the two women I will profile next have done.

Hannah’s and Valerie’s Street Harassment Maps

First up is Hannah, a cinema student at the University of Iowa who recently created her own street harassment map. I asked her a few questions about it.

Regarding the impact of street harassment on her life, she said,

“Street harassment, both what’s happened to me and what’s happened to other people, makes me afraid to walk down the street. I dress in a certain way to try to avoid it, though I think my map proves how ineffective that is. I also take certain routes, like avoiding downtown if at all possible, simply to avoid being harassed.”

As to why she created her own map, she told me:

“I think it’s really interesting how many things have happened to me, personally, and I feel that what has happened to me has largely been different from what people typically associate with street harassment. I feel like the myth is that women who dress ‘provocatively’ and/or are really pretty are the only people who are harassed. I’m evidence to the contrary. I’m pretty plain – I’m curvy, too, and a little overweight on top of that – and I like to dress comfortably, which for me is in loose-fitting clothing that covers my knees and my upper arms. I don’t like to show a lot of skin, and I don’t wear tight clothes. Another common misconception is that street harassment only comes from, say, construction crews, or truck drivers, men like that. I’ve never been harassed by a construction worker OR a truck driver. Plus I also think that people believe that street harassment only happens in big cities, which Iowa City (thought I love it) certainly is not. I guess the short answer is that I wanted to debunk myths and raise awareness.”

She has found that her map creates opportunities for very helpful discussions, but that she’s also had people tell her she is “getting worked up over nothing.” She plans to add every single incident that happens to her to the map, and that “I hope more than anything that I don’t have to add to it, but realistically I know that’s probably not going to be the case.”

Next up is Valerie Aurora, a software programmer and writer in San Francisco, who created her street harassment map a few years ago.

Street harassment has a similar impact on her life as it does on Hannah’s:

“I have very carefully researched routes to and from places I visit that have the lowest rate of harassment and I take those religiously. I just don’t take certain BART stations (like 16th and Mission) because they are so surrounded by people who harass me and instead take longer routes.  I always sit near the driver on the bus or train. I take taxis if I’m out after 9pm at night – night buses are hell. Getting harassed pretty much ruins my day and reduces me to a 10-year-old level of emotion for several hours.”

Why did she start her map?

“Initially, it was because very few people believed me when I told them about what was happening to me.  I wanted to prove that my reality existed – people were so disbelieving that I began to wonder if I were making it all up somehow.  Then I realized that I felt much better when I had something to do when someone harassed me.  I’d pull out my notebook and note down the time and place and what happened, and that distracted me enough that I’d only feel a little bit scared and bad. It was my way to prove that what was happening was really happening, and to get a little control back.”

Her map is having an impact. She said that some people who view it say, “Wow, I had no idea it was so bad!”  and some others question whether individual incidents were really harassment.  “Most people,” she notes, “are shocked.”

When I asked her about her plans going forward, she told me:

“I quit adding to this one after a while because I got used to it and I no longer cared whether my friends believed me or not – I knew it was happening, and that was all the reality I needed.  But writing this has reminded me of the good parts of keeping the map.  I may start doing it again, but keeping it on Global Street Harassment Map instead. And if the Hollaback iPhone app becomes a reality, then hell yeah, I’ll keep updating it.”

What would your map look like if you documented all of your street harassment experiences?

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Filed Under: Advice, hollaback, Resources, street harassment Tagged With: document street harassment, hollaback, kickstart, phone app, street harassment app, street harassment map

Harassment comes when you never expect it

May 20, 2010 By HKearl

I get harassed so frequently walking down the major streets of Georgetown in DC (M Street, Wisconsin Avenue) that I started using the C&O Canal to get around during lunch breaks and to head home after work. It’s been a great relief from harassment for the most part, but when I have to cross over and pass M Street the same old mess happens!

I got off the canal at 32nd so I could pick up lunch from Booeymonger. As I crossed M Street, some old man leaned into my space and said “Your boyfriend’s a lucky man,” or some garbage that started with “Your boyfriend…”.

Most of the harassment stories I’ve submitted have involved men of my own race (black) harassing me in the most vulgar and obnoxious ways. I’m used to my being a minority making me invisible in mostly-white settings like Georgetown, so getting harassed by an older white man threw me off guard a little. I have been harassed by white men in the past, but it’s a rare experience. I didn’t have a comeback ready like I normally would’ve in any other situation.

“Uh, I don’t have a boyfriend,” I said, in a lame attempt to tell this guy off. “And it’s none of your damn business whether I do or not!” Of course, this old fool has a big old grin on his face, so my retort didn’t faze him.

I hate being thrown off guard like that. Harassment comes when you never expect it.

– Tired of Being Harassed

Location: M & 33rd Street, Georgetown, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: georgetown

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