Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

NYC Harasser with Badge and Authority

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When serious street harassment and assault occurs, it’d be nice to think we can call the cops or run and find an officer to help. I can recall about a dozen or so people whose stories I’ve read who have asked for help from cops and they’ve found responses to be mixed, from hearing “what do you expect” to complete indifference to concern to receiving active help in trying to catch the perpetrator. So the (unsurprising) lesson I take away is there’s a chance you’ll get the help you need and there’s a chance you won’t (so we need to educate cops and hold them responsible for helping so that the chances of getting help improve)!

In this context, the following story caught my eye because it shows the kind of luck you may have if you approach a cop in NYC for help with a street harasser. Via Gothamist:

“Greenpoint resident Chrissie Brodigan says she was riding on the L train between Bedford and First Avenue when her pug, who has health problems, overheated and began vomiting in the tote bag she was carrying him in. As she was leaving the subway station with the dog in her arms, she says a police officer’s attempt to issue her a ticket turned ugly, and when she became upset the cop began saying, “If you’re going to act like a woman I’m going to treat you like a woman.”

[In a second article, Gothamist reports witness Jason Wagner said the officer told her, “Do you wanna talk like a woman? Do you wanna get knocked around like a woman?”]

According to Brodigan, the arresting officer’s name is Witriol (badge number 942838). After seeing a photo, she identified him to us as Joel Witriol, who in 2006 became New York’s first Hasidic cop. Brodigan, 32, says Witriol would not accept her explanation that she was carrying the pug because it was sick, and she believes that the disturbed crowd that gathered to witness the arrest only made him angrier. She tells us, “He punched me in the back (there are bruises), he handcuffed me, and in the scuffle grabbed my breasts and pinched them.”

Via Gothamist. Click on image to see more photos
Via Gothamist. Photos from the subway are on the link too

Melissa Randazzo, a speech language pathologist who lives in Williamsburg, witnessed the arrest and tells us, “something about it seemed very wrong. The cop’s tone seemed really inappropriate and he kept saying things like, ‘Are you going to act like a woman?’ She tried to walk away, and then he grabbed her and pushed her against the wall outside the turnstile.” Randazzo ran up to the street level to call 911 to, as she says, “call the cops” on Witriol, and soon some 20 officers had descended into the Bedford station. They then ordered the witnesses to disperse.”

Brodigan was arrested, handcuffed and jailed and the cops threatened to take her dog to the pound to be put down. She received three tickets for failing to produce ID, disorderly conduct, and failing to have dog in a container. When she was released she asked for a pen to write down their badge numbers but they refused. They did return her pug.

The New York Post printed a similar story, though it says one witness claims Brodigan made anti-Semitic insults to the officer, however, other witnesses and Brodigan deny this. Hopefully this is untrue, but even if it was, would it justify physically harming her?

On the other hand, no one denies that the officer spewed misogynistic filth or that he left bruises on her body. It’s quite chilling for women to realize there are men with these attitudes out there who are supposed to be “protecting” us from harassers, but in reality, they are harassers too, just with badges and authority.

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How to Talk to Girls on the Street

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Wow, I accidentally came across articles which are each called some variation of “How to Talk to Girls on the Street.”  I’m going on the assumption that these are real articles… From one of them:

“…One of the most challenging things for men in the dating scene is approaching women on the street. Like any learned skill the more you practice approaching women the better you will get. So the easy solution in learning how to talk to women on the street is to simply approach more of them. But this is not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes you might be walking in one direction and she is walking opposite and toward you. It can be very awkward because she’s going one way and you’re going the other way so it’s not very natural to just walk up and say something. Or is it? The reality is that you can approach anyone, anywhere, and virtually at any time…”

A friendly smile or hello from a stranger of any sex can often lift someone’s spirits. I also recognize that strangers can and do meet in public and form relationships, be they one night stands or lifetime commitments. What bothers me about these articles is the assumption that any girl/woman (preferably attractive, right?) on the street who is not already with a man is publicly available for a man’s attention and he is free to approach any and all of them if he just gets up the courage and learns how to do it well.

I’m reading Sue Wise & Liz Stanley’s book Georgie Porgie: Sexual Harassment in Everyday Life (published in 1987) and something I read today relates exactly to these articles.

“As marriage is taken to indicate a woman’s perpetual sexual consent to the desires of her husband [when this was written rape was still legal within marriage in many places], so womanhood is taken to indicate a woman’s perpetual consent to the attentions of whatever man: unless a particular man owns the property in question it’s taken to be public property” (Stanley and Wise, 176).

Let me try to explain further why I see these articles as being misguided.

Raise your hand if you mostly are harassed when you are alone or with female friends! In my informal, anonymous survey I conducted last fall, female respondents said they were harassed the most when they were #1 alone and #2 when they were with female friends. The absence of men seems to imply women are sexually available and just dying to be approached on the street. I’ve learned from several women’s stories that wearing a wedding ring or being with one’s children doesn’t always prevent harassment either because the men who “own” the women and/or children aren’t actually present.

Side but related note:  I’ve  found that when men do harass women who are with other men, it’s often directed at the man about how lucky he is to be with a hot woman, or something along those lines. This even happened to me two years ago when I was out with my boyfriend and a man started talking to him about me like I was a car he was admiring. We were both stunned.

The men writing and reading the articles don’t seem to care to take into account that – depending on the time of day – most women are out in public because they are traveling to/from work or school or stores or out getting exercise or walking a dog and they have no interest whatsoever in being detained by men testing out pick-up lines or trying to improve their game or improve their confidence at approaching women by “hitting” on them. No matter what their reason for being in public, many women who are not looking for a new romantic or sexual relationship are not going to be interested in having men approach them this way. These articles also assume that all women are heterosexual; what about women who only date women? They really don’t want to be approached by men in a sexual way. And the articles don’t adequately address how unnerving, scary, or annoying it can be to be approached by unknown men in public, particularly in isolated areas or at night.

So these men would be better off following advice like this on how to talk to girls/women on the street:

1. Don’t assume a girl or woman is single, heterosexual, and/or interested in being “hit on” or picked up just because she’s in public.

2. Instead of whistling, honking, touching, or saying something about the way she looks as a way of saying hi, treat her like a normal human being and actually say hello and smile or nod.

3. If you want to engage her in conversation, see #2. If she says hello back and doesn’t hurry away or look away, then you can try to politely and respectfully start a conversation about something inoffensive and preferably not about her body parts. Take cues from her whether to continue the conversation. If she looks busy, distracted, or nervous, leave her alone! She may not have the time or inclination to talk. Or you may be the third or fourth man to approach her that day – even if it’s done politely this is wearisome and annoying. Don’t be rude if she doesn’t talk to you. You don’t know her personal history or what’s on her mind or her schedule. Be respectful of her as a human. Don’t force her to be rude to you in order to get you to leave her alone.

4. Never approach her in an isolated area or at night because that makes most women nervous or scared.

What’s your advice to men who want to talk to girls/women on the street?

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Piropos

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From http://blogs.ya.com/diariodegolifre/files/piropos.jpgMany women – both Latina and not – whose street harassment stories I’ve read have commented on the volume of harassment they receive from Hispanic men due to the culture of machismo. I know men of all races harass women of all races, but this viewpoint is common enough that it is one I am exploring.

A few months ago, a woman in Colombia who, as part of her PhD work, is examining how people justify violence against women in Colombia, contacted me because she was interested in my research. One of her case studies focused on a woman’s experience being groped in public by a stranger. We exchanged a few e-mails and she shared the following with me when I asked her about street harassment in Colombia.

“One more thing you might be interested in…in Hispanic countries there is a cultural history of a sort of courtship in the streets.  “Piropos” (http://www.piroposkc.com/whatis.html) are probably the best way to name this historical-cultural act. If you use the word ‘piropo,’ many people will tell you how beautiful and wonderful they are.  However, if one looks closely, there are definitions of piropo which also include unpleasant piropos, such as ‘you look like a nice f*ck’, and ‘I want to suck your …’.  There are those who would say that any piropo too directly related to sex is vulgar and uncalled for.  Also, piropos don’t have to only be verbal.  Some articles mention that they might be accompanied by a ‘touch.’  I know that many women will say they don’t mind or even like the nice piropos, but no one likes a quick stranger grope nor a vulgar comment.”

I recently read an article by Joan Fayer entitled “Changes in Gender Use of Public Space in Puerto Rico” which further educated me about “piropos,” which seems to be a tradition adopted by many (most? all?) Hispanic cultures from the Spanish. I found the article to be very useful, so I’m including highlights from it below.

Fayer says that piropos are “compliments or flattering comments traditionally given by men to women” which are “more than ever restricting equal access of women to public space. The hostile environment piropos create by making women ‘open’ to all and any other comments by men” (Fayer, 214).

Piropos were originally compliments given by aristocratic Spanish men to women as a way to admire their beauty and grace. Over time, piropos spread to other social classes and to Hispanic areas. Apparently, piropos used to be fairly prim and proper but gradually vulgar piropos creeped in so that today there’s a good mixture of both being given by men (Fayer, 216).  In fact, in Spain a law passed in 1931 prohibiting piropos and related gestures that were impolite and vulgar and violation of said law resulted in a fine or a jail sentence of 5 to 20 days (can you imagine if the US had a similar law!?!).

She  says, “Machismo, as a public act, is evident in street culture in Puerto Rico and other Hispanic countries in which men control public space not only by looking at women, but also verbally by giving women piropos – compliments that can range from the polite and poetic to the vulgar” (Fayer, 216).

“Piropos are typically given on streets by a man or a group of men as they pass by a woman or women they do not know or as the women pass them…Today piropos are usually given when walking, but it also possible for males to shout from cars to women who are walking or who are themselves in cars. Although they are more common from young men to young women, there are no age restrictions. Some men give piropos all their adult lives; however, there are some men who never give piropos. Although class distinctions may be a factor, there are men of all social classes who would never make comments about women in public” (Fayer, 217-218).

“The conventional female response is to ignore piropos, both verbally and nonverbally. The woman may be flattered, offended, or feel sexually harassed, but to respond in any way is ‘to ask for trouble.’ Women who are offended by piropos may, if possible, avoid areas in which piropos are common. Avoiding piropos ‘areas’ thus limits the access women have to public space. Recently, there has been a change in the response women make to piropos. Some female teenagers who receive vulgar piropos now turn to the males and say, ‘Would you say that to your mother/sister?’ ‘Go to hell,’ and so on. These young women are claiming more equal access to public streets; they do not just avoid piropos ‘areas'” (Fayer, 218).

“Piropos given by women on the streets can also be vulgar…however there are differences in the way women give men piropos in public space. Women almost always give piropos when they are in groups on the street or when they are in cars. For a woman to say something when she is alone would be too dangerous. The group or the car insures protection and prevents the male from interpreting the remark as an invitation” (Fayer, 219).

“Public space can also become a hostile environment when women become targets of both piropos and other types of verbal and nonverbal harassment” (Fayer, 220).

Fayer’s conclusion for the article as related to piropos is that they are largely male to female and thus permit “men to intrude and sexually harass women in their personal space in public areas. This hostile environment serves to restrict the access women have to public space…The gendered use of public space in Puerto Rico indicates that although there have been recent changes, social organization and public space continues to be male dominated” (Fayer, 223).

Does anyone know more about piropos and the way it impacts the way Hispanic men treat women in public spaces? Also, the article focused on heterosexual piropos, but are same-sex piropos ever given?

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Street Harassment Round Up – June 28

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Stories:

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

In the News:

  • The Telegraph in the UK had an article about colleges in India who are banning certain women’s clothing in an attempt to cut down on the “eve teasing” women students receive from men.

Street Harassment Resource of the Week:

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Free to Enjoy Time in the Park

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Two years ago Blank Noise Project in India asked their blog readers to submit a list of things they wished they could do in their city but didn’t because of harassment from men (for example, smile when they wanted, not have to think about who’s watching them, be able to go out at night and be safe…). This past Saturday afternoon, they invited people to come to Cubbon Park to live out their wish list, including wearing something they wished they could wear but never had for fear of harassment. This was in part a response to the recent banning of certain women’s clothings at colleges and universities as a way to combat men’s eve teasing of women.

Visit their blog to read how the experience went for some of the participants. Here’s part of one:

“I was doing much more service to myself than a social service or changing attitudes of others. I was breaking free of my own inhibitions and questioning what is ‘appropriate’ in public-like dancing in public without music; or what is appropriate because I am a woman-like lying on a park bench without meaning to ‘get laid’. I was changing my own attitude. I gained a little more confidence and trust within myself. There are some things I do anyways-like pouting etc. Now I would feel less guilty or responsible if some man stares at me for it. I just like to do it and I accept myself for it!” – Saraswathi

What would your list look like – what would you do if you could be sure no man would harass you?

Cubbon Park Blank Noise Project
Cubbon Park Blank Noise Project
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