Contributor, Author at Stop Street Harassment

“I wish people didn’t have to fight to be believed”

October 13, 2018 By Contributor

* Trigger Warning * – rape

It all started when I was 6 and now I’m 18, but I have lost track of how many times that I’ve been sexually assaulted.

The first time that it happened I was 6, and it was my brother and this went on for two years. I didn’t tell my mom or dad because I was terrified about how they would act or if they would even believe me.

Sometimes I would heard my dad make snide comments about how, “they were asking for it with way they were dressed.” I was dressed in pajamas at the age of 11 when my dad assaulted me on the way home. This continued for a year and a half, until I moved in with my mom.

At the age of 14, I got my first serious boyfriend (or I thought at the time) whose name is Alex. I remember the worst night with him was when Alex was forcing himself on me. He pinned me down and did exactly what every other guy in my life has done.

At the age of 17 I was raped again. I was walking home from the gas station, which was a couple of blocks away from my house. I remember the way his hand twisted around my neck and started to choke the life out of me. I was terrified. Petrified. I tried fighting, back but nothing was helping. He choked me so much I passed out. I woke up on the ground of an alley way.

That night I went home balling my eyes out and tried taking a shower to get the feelings of all of the hands off of me. I wish I could say those were the only times, but they weren’t. I’ve lost track.

I remember breaking down in the shower, trying to scrub the feeling of their hands away all while contemplating suicide. The next day I was supposed to spend time with my boyfriend (who I’ve been with for three years), and once I saw him, I broke down. I broke down in tears and told him everything, and for once I could breathe. He took his time with me and made sure I was doing okay. He encouraged me to talk to my mom about everything that happened and slowly but surely I did.

She actually believed me, and told me her past, and we broke down in each other’s arms. To this day, I haven’t seen my father and brother.

Telling them about what happened doesn’t make it disappear, but it makes it easier in some aspect. I just wish more people took it as serious as they did. I wish people didn’t have to fight to be believed. Although to this day I feel dirty and when someone grabs me too tightly I get scared all over again. My body freezes up and I start to have a panic attack, and the entire time, I’ll have flashbacks of all of those nights.

– KE

Location: Fort Wayne, IN

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

“Unfortunately, my instinct was right”

October 10, 2018 By Contributor

It was a mid-afternoon on a beautiful and sunny fall day. I had just finished class and was walking to the bus stop across from McMaster University. I sat, minding my own business, waiting for the bus to arrive, when a middle aged man sat next to me.

If you are a woman reading this, then you might know the uneasy, instinctual gut feeling, of an unknown man sitting in the seat directly next to you, when four other seats away from you exist, unoccupied.

I had a bad feeling he would say something, but I ignored my thoughts, because not every man that sits close to you is going to say something inappropriate… right ? Unfortunately, my instinct was right. The man asked me if I “wanted an older man” because he could teach me things in the bedroom I could never dream of, then proceeded to list off just the things he wanted to do to me, which are much too explicit for this post.

I was in shock, no one I’d ever met had said such disgusting things to me. I stood up and walked a few feet away, praying that the bus would come sooner, and it eventually did. Unfortunately, the real fear came after I stepped into the bus and realized that he was also getting on, I never wanted to not be a young woman so bad in my life. I was genuinely scared this man was going to follow me after I got off the bus. I got off the bus a few stops away from my home, making sure the man was not following me, and clenched my phone wondering how well it would work if I needed to use it in an attempt to defend myself.

My beautiful fall day had turned into something dark and frightening. I felt frustrated trying to understand why I deserved this treatment?

– Madelaine D

Location: Hamilton/Ontario/Canada

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

“I had never had someone who would say such disgusting things to me”

October 10, 2018 By Contributor

It was a mid-afternoon on a beautiful fall and sunny day.

Photo Credit: Chris Tyler from Toronto, Canada (Wikimedia)

I had just finished class and was walking to the bus stop across from McMaster University. I sat, minding my own business waiting for the bus to arrive, when a middle aged man sat next to me.

If you are a woman reading this, then you might know the uneasy, instinctual gut feeling, of an unknown man sitting in the seat directly next to you, when 4 other seats away from you exist, unoccupied.

I had a bad feeling something would be said but I ignored my thoughts, because not every man that sits close to you is going to say something inappropriate… right ? Unfortunately my instinct was right.

The man asked me if I “wanted an older man” because he could teach me things in the bedroom I could never dream of, then proceeded to list off just the things he wanted to do to me, which are much to explicit for this post.

I was in shock, I had never had someone who would say such disgusting things to me. I stood up and walked a few feet away, praying that the bus would come sooner, and it eventually did.

Unfortunately, the real fear came after I stepped into the bus and realized that he was also getting on, I never wanted to not be a young woman so bad in my life.

After I got off the bus a few stops away from my home, making sure the man was not following me, and clenched my phone wondering how well it would work if I needed to use it in an attempt to defend myself.

My beautiful fall day had turned into something dark and frightening, frustrated trying to understand why I deserve this treatment?

~ Madelaine D

Location:

Hamilton/Ontario/Canada

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

“Change the cultural response to harassment “

September 13, 2018 By Contributor

I was 14 years old, walking on a downtown Dallas street, when a man walking in front of me suddenly turned and grabbed my breast and just as quickly let go and kept on walking away.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

We need to change the cultural response to the harassment of women.

– Jane

Location:

Near the YWCA in downtown Dallas, Texas

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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