I was walking through a mall parking lot on my way to work. I heard a man’s voice yell something at me. I couldn’t understand it at first because I was lost in thought and they were driving by in their white truck. Then the words came to me and I was instantly filled with rage. This man had yelled, “You need to lose weight bitch!” at me while driving by. I had ignored it and kept walking on my original path. But then it struck me that I couldn’t let it slide.

I ran towards his vehicle on to see him speed up and turn a corner. Once I got to where he had turned there was a sea of vehicles around me. And there were many white trucks parked. I walked to work defeated and told my coworkers about the incident.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been harassed at this mall. And two other men harassed me later on in the day at separate times. One guy sat very close to me on the bus and asked me if I “live in this area” as I got off the bus. I said “maybe” and he just stared at me until the doors opened and I exited. Then as I crossed the street to walk home another man waved to me from the opposite side of the street. I ignored him and then he started to make his way to my side of the street but luckily traffic stopped him. I’m sure he would have tried talking to me so I walked home faster than usual.

Three times in one day not counting the horn honks and piercing male glances at the bus stops. I felt angry, unsafe, annoyed, disrespected, and reduced to a piece of meat. I only wish they could treat me with the same respect they give to other men and let me commute to work peacefully without bother.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think that making anti-street harassment laws and ordinances could make the streets safer for women. I think that ticketing men who publicly harass women could stop men from doing it publicly. I think that creating safe zones for women to commute to work would make them feel safer. I think their should be undercover anti-harassment officers on buses, trains, and trolleys in my city.

– Katalya

Location: San Antonio, TX, USA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

 

I was at Otakon (an anime convention) with my friend a few weeks ago and we decided to cosplay. We were both wearing low cut dresses because it’s hot outside and it worked for our costumes. The people at the convention were nothing but nice to us luckily, but as a lot of cosplayers know walking around the city outside of the convention center invites a lot of attention from strangers… which is typically pretty understandable when people ask to take your picture or ask you about the character you’re dressed like.

Outside of the convention center on our way to grab lunch a man approached us in the crosswalk and said, “I just want you ladies to know that your breasts look amazing. Has anyone told you that today?” I wanted to reply, “No, no one else has been that rude,” but I just laughed him off because I was in a good mood and didn’t want to start a fight with a stranger in a crosswalk. Then he told us that he saw us walking and HAD to get out of his car to tell us how great our breasts look… as if he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if no one commented on our boobs today.

I mustered, “Um thaaaanks?” as sarcastically as I could and we kept walking. He ended on, “Seriously, your breasts look delicious.”

I was grossed out and really alarmed that someone would get out of their car at a red light to harass women in a crosswalk. We laughed that he would have been slicker to just ask to take our picture and not comment on our breasts because we probably would have said yes (since we were in costume after all) and he could have had a photo to remember our “delicious” breasts by.

Not an hour later, another guy did exactly that. He approached us, said we looked beautiful and asked to take our picture and as he was taking it we noticed the camera slide down from our faces towards our chests. We probably wouldn’t have noticed had we not just joked about how the other guy should have done that to be more “slick.” If I was alone I would have been scared, but with my friend there I was able to just laugh it off. I’m seriously considering bringing my husband next year to avoid getting harassed again, even though he really isn’t that interested in attending the convention.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

The only way street harassment is going to stop is if we share our stories and shine a light on this kind of behavior. We need to let people know that this is NOT okay and that’s never going to happen if we keep sweeping it under the rug.

– Anonymous

Location: Baltimore, MD

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

I was standing at the intersection near my apartment, waiting for the light to change. I’m autistic, and was flicking my fingers in front of me. I may have given the impression I was stoned.

A man walked up to me and asked, “Are you going to HempFest?”

I said, “No.”

“Do you want to go to HempFest?” he asked.

“No.”

“Let’s get coffee.”

“I’m not interested.”

“Well, you see, my therapist told me that when I met somebody I thought was attractive I should just go up to them and ask them out. I thought you seemed really nice and attractive. You don’t understand how big a step this is for me.”

“I see. Sorry, I’m not interested.” (There are so many ways I could have said, “Your therapist is wrong and you are creepy.” I did not feel safe enough to do any of them in the moment. I apologize if this makes me a Bad Feminist.)

“Well, I’m interested in doing anything outdoors.”

“I’m already in a relationship.”

He immediately got apologetic and said, “Sorry. I didn’t know. Have a great day!” He left right after that. Because my repeated statements that I was 100% not interested were obviously meaningless, so long as I’m designated Available.

– KA

Location: Seattle, WA, USA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

I was walking to the subway in NYC to run work errands when a guy told me, “Girl.. you have the finest ass I have ever seen.” I was annoyed but honestly- I have heard this before on the street and kept walking.

When I came back from the errand I saw the same guy and he yells, “Twice in one day! I am so lucky.”

Now I am feeling like I am trapped seeing this man. It was almost like we had a relationship somehow the way he talked to me.. like he knew me and we were friends.

I had to deal with the fear that I was going to constantly have to see him and keep hearing from him. Three days later he drove by and stopped at the light near me. I had a moment when we saw each other. I waited .. knowing if he was going to say something he would have to yell it across the street where many people would hear it. I was ready to be humiliated. He yells, “I like your dress!” and I felt relieved that my ass stayed out of the subject.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Change cultural norms.

– EE

Location: NYC, Meatpacking District

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

This story does not involve physical harassment, but I know that what happened on this particular occasion could have escalated very quickly if I had not been able to get away as swiftly.

Recently I was walking down the street in Lausanne, Switzerland, where I currently live, re-tying my hair into a ponytail, as I noticed three young men walking ahead of me. At first, I saw them glance back at me a few times but ignored it, thinking (and hoping) that maybe they were just looking in my direction. They were talking to a bus driver halted at a stop and just briefly glanced sideways at me, so I chose to ignore it. Then, as I kept walking (more slowly now), still tying my hair, they glanced back at me multiple times, each time turning back to each other and smirking, then continuing on their way. Because we had made our way onto the narrow sidewalk of a bridge by this point, and I was in a rush to get to where I was heading (and because I’m just sick and angry of feeling that *I* always have to compromise *myself* just to be safe on the streets), I kept walking behind them, although I felt very uncomfortable.

As we neared the end of the bridge and made our separate ways to the crosswalk at an intersection, with them still trailing just ahead of me, I began to feel more and more nervous. They eventually slowed down and continued to glance at me, more and more frequently. Then, as I tried to veer to the side, they stopped altogether right beside me and each began staring. I tried not to look at them as I attempted to pass (afraid of feeding into their feelings of male entitlement by “enticing” them perhaps), but one of the young men came right up to me, smiling, and said, “Bonjour”, nodding a little too intentionally. It was obvious what he wanted. I responded, “Bonjour”, and kept walking. I knew they were staring at me as I walked away and I was terrified they would all follow me. I was especially terrified because there were three of them. Luckily the streets were very busy and I quickly walked away from the area.

I am stared at and sexualized almost every day by men on the streets, and I am incredibly lucky to have avoided being physically harassed thus far. However, I have been touched inappropriately by men in other settings (such as by patients and coworkers at the hospital where I work) and I am so very tired of living in a patriarchal society where misogyny and rape culture is perceived as NORMAL or NON-EXISTANT. It is exhausting to fear for one’s safety and space simply when one walks out the door. The fact that so many people (usually men, usually people reinforcing this culture) actually don’t UNDERSTAND this and BLAME us, the people affected, is beyond exhausting and disgusting.

I’m happy to be able to share this story.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Human beings deserve respect. Men, especially, need to begin reassessing the way they view and understand women and their relationships with women. Within the gender binary, we (again, I’m referring directly to men) need to STOP sexualizing others and, especially, need to realize that NOBODY IS ENTITLED TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, whether sexually or not. We are not objects! We are people! All of us.

If this phenomenon were reversed, even for a day, and men experienced even a fraction of what women experience ALL THE TIME, PERHAPS they would finally BEGIN to get it. Although, really, we should never need to reverse situations of harassment, discrimination, harm or prejudice in order for the oppressors to understand the harm they are doing.

– Laura Karlberg

Location: Lausanne, Switzerland

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea