I was on a walk with my husband and my infant son when a teenage boy in the passenger seat of a car leans out and screamed something like “Damn, girl” as they drove past us. I couldn’t even say anything and was mortified in front of my family. It did not make me feel pretty or wanted…it made me feel angry and gross.

– KE

Location: Rosemount, MN

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Unfortunately, this is not the first or last time I’ll be harassed. One day my mom picked me up from school and we went to the grocery store. I was tired and opted to wait in the car, mind you I was 14 at the time. I was just sitting in the car alone and this man (around 40) was staring at me while he was walking to his car. I kept looking at him and I’m sure i had an intimidated look because he was the only other person in that parking lot and I felt a bit panicked. I kept my cool and looked away but i felt like the guy was still staring so i looked back and he smirked, blew a kiss to me and winked.

I immediately made a disgusted face and that smirk that was marked on his face, he looked like he was happy or excited to see how uncomfortable he had made me feel. I didn’t tell my mom because I was embarrassed. I went to my room and teared up a bit, even though this man didn’t physical touch me I felt so violated and vulnerable.

I have many other stories that I might go about to posting but this one by far was one that stuck with me. I still remember his face and that ungodly smirk.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Don’t ever let any man or harasser intimidate or scare you. Stick up for yourself and make sure you know your surroundings. Stay safe.

– Anonymous

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What scares me the most, is that I’ve gotten used to street harassment for the most part. I’m 23 and it’s a daily thing. I don’t dress provocatively and I don’t walk around by myself at night but that doesn’t seem to stop me from being harassed. I want to confront my harassers but most of the time I just try to find a way to simply get out of the situation, because I’m afraid of putting myself in greater danger and I’ve just started to think of these experiences as normal.

I often have cars stop by me in my neighborhood and guys will comment on my appearance or try and pick me up as if I am a prostitute. One time, I was walking from the grocery store to the bus stop only to look behind me several blocks later and realize that a guy had been following me all the way from the grocery store to try and demand my phone number from me.

The worst experiences are always on public transportation though because that is when I feel most trapped. One day I was riding the L and an older man came on the train with me, commenting on my shoes and appearance. As soon as I stepped in the train car, I realized it was totally empty besides us and when I sat down, he sat right next to me, trapping me in my seat. He continued to talk to me and rub his leg against mine which made me feel so uncomfortable and violated. I told him I was calling my mom who was in the hospital and wanted to have a private conversation, and could he please move away. He refused to change seats at first but then he did move and got off at the first stop. I feel lucky that something worse didn’t happen. I would have been powerless. Plus, I didn’t end up even getting through to my mom because the phone signal was so bad underground on the L.

These experiences constantly affect my personal choices and freedom of movement as I try to protect myself from these kind of situations. Plus, they continue to build up an unhealthy distrust of men.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Overall, we need to stop blaming women for street harassment and start trying to change culture so that these experiences are not the norm for women. I could be wearing layers of clothing, walking around in broad daylight with a friend and these things still happen. Men need to gain more respect for women’s personal space and be able to listen to what women are communicating.

I think it’s also important for women to start speaking out against this behavior so that we don’t let it just become a normal part of our lives. Let’s not act as if men own us or our lives revolve around men. Instead of refusing to give someone my phone number because “I have a boyfriend,” let me just not give him my phone number because I don’t want to and he doesn’t have any claim to it!

– Anonymous

Location: Chicago, IL

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Occasionally, on my walk home from school, I’d pop into my local corner shop to pick up some snacks. Being a regular, I often exchanged pleasantries with Darran (the guy that worked there). However, after a while, the situation turned into harassment.

It started at first by him stopping me from leaving the shop. It was a small, tight store, and when I was browsing products, he would come over and make sure my exit was blocked. I eventually was allowed to leave once I’d engaged in conversation with him. I thought this was weird, so I stopped going in there. He noticed my absence, and suddenly started asking all my friends where I was, where I lived and what my full name was.

I started to become scared, as at the time I was only 16 and he was around 35. I told teachers and friends, and they laughed it off as a joke, and that I should “take it as a compliment”. It got worse as he started to wait for me in his car outside the shop. When I walked past to go home, he would follow me the whole way to my house. I lived down a quiet dead-end road, and he followed me right to the end. When I got to my house, I debated whether to go in because then he would know where I lived, but I panicked and ran inside. This continued for three to four weeks.

Many people asked me ‘why didn’t you just change your route home?’. Firstly, there were only two routes. The one I was taking, or another that went through a quiet abandoned railway: not exactly a safe route for a solo 16 year old girl. But secondly, why should I have to justify the way I walk home? This is the way street harassment is viewed in England, as if the victim somehow chose to be harassed. I should be able to go where I want without being harassed.

When my parents got involved, the school took the incident more seriously. When questioned by police, he said that I had led him on and instigated the whole thing. He said the way I dressed (I wore school uniform which included a skirt), the way I walked past and the way I spoke to him all led him on. I was absolutely mortified. Not only was I terrified that he felt this way, but mortified that I think some of my teachers probably believed him, thinking I was an attention seeker.

As he never physically touched me, there wasn’t much the police or my teachers could do. He continued to drive down my road as I walked home, claiming he was doing a ‘paper-delivery’. I was becoming scared to leave my house, and eventually my mum took it into her own hands and we moved house and school completely.

I had to change my life because of this man, and because street harassment is not taken anywhere near as seriously as it should be.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I believe street harassment needs to be taken as seriously as other crimes. People seem to think it’s a ‘compliment’ or a joke? I can tell you for a victim, it is absolutely not seen as either of these. Awareness needs to be heightened, especially among education sectors.

– Hannah Spencer

Location: Hertfordshire, England

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

I have learned to get used to the cat calls, the obscene gestures, the comments as “they” pass. One thing that I doubt I will ever get used to us the offer of a ride.

The time it takes as I’m walking down the street for them to stop, turn around if necessary and proceed to ask me if I need a ride, blows my mind and scares me senseless at the same time. What is stopping this person from getting out and simply forcing me to go with him. This happens frequently, one time scared me the most.

As I was leaving work, it was dark, I was hailing a cab as this car passes. Only he doesn’t pass, he pulls over yelling something at me as I tried to avoid eye contact and pretend as if I didn’t realize he was talking to me. I simply told him no when I had no choice but to respond in fear that I may make him angry if I didn’t. He proceeded to yell things at me from his car not accepting no for an answer. It was not until I was able to get into a cab that he finally drove away.

– Taylor

Location: Calgary, Canada

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea