I am always getting harassed on the street by men. When I used to walk and take the bus to work in Orange County, it was just about daily. It’s creepy, it’s rude, and makes me feel very unsafe. It takes the pep out of my step and I tend to keep a scowl on my face if I’m alone just to try and keep anyone from saying anything to me. I shouldn’t have to live that way. Nobody should.

The latest harassment was when I was in Vegas for my sister’s bachelorette party. A (big, tall, muscular) man tried to hand me a “demo album” (most of those are scams, hence the quotation marks), and when I said, “No thank you” he leaned in next to my face and said, “But you’ve got the hair and the makeup that make me want to DO SOMETHING to it.” All I could manage was a “Thaaat’s..f**king creepy.” My sister then started defending me saying women don’t want random, creepy men saying scary, gross stuff to us; My best friend also yelled at him to “f**k off”; He yelled at my sister that she needed to “eat a sandwich” and that nobody wants her anyway (Yeah. The bride.) And to me he said, “Nobody likes you anyways.” I have found that that has been my number 1 response (probably about tied with “bitch!”) from men when I tell them “no, thank you” or, on my extra pissed off da ys, when I just flip them the bird. I don’t accept their harassment so I must not be liked?

I really wish men where more respectful, and I really feel that for a lot of them it must be plain ignorance about how women feel about it happening. I for one had a serious talk with my little brother (14 years old now), about the proper ways to interact with a woman; though he was already appalled at the thought that men do this sort of thing. I guess that’s what happens when your older sisters are big feminists! hahaha!

I think that a big part of this issue is that we need to teach our sons how to interact with women and why, and not just teach our daughters how to defend themselves.

– Becca

Location: Las Vegas (and everywhere else I’ve lived.)

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

I am a British woman living in Germany. A football match between my local German team and a British club was about to kick off.  I was walking to my home along a street very crowded with football fans, when a British with a group of friends man stared at me, leaned in towards me and shouted, “I like your boobies!” I was absolutely dumbfounded.

I shouted back that I understood English and was ignored, but attracted stares from passersby.  I felt completely powerless, unable to say or do anything to redress the balance.  It somehow made it worse that he felt he could do that in a crowded public place, with a large group of friends behind him, whereas I am a young woman alone.

This has happened to me only rarely in the 5 years I have been living in Germany, and it makes me worry what kind of country I’m returning, too.  I was also angry with myself, that when I got home, I considered whether my top was “too” tight or low cut – it’s not about clothing, and I shouldn’t in anyway take responsibility for his actions.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

It would have meant something to me, if other people – his friends or passersby had called him out on it.  I also have no idea how one can report something as “trivial” as this.

– A.S.

Location: In front of my home, Germany

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

When I was in college in Boston it was a regular occurrence to be harassed on the street.  One night in particular a group of us had gone out and we were heading back to my roommate’s boy friend’s car – there were 5 of us, including two guys.  There were these three big guys hanging out out the street on the corner near where we were parked, and they immediately took interest in us.  We were friendly at first because we were with two guys – what were they going to do?  Well, they started saying things like, “Come on, give us a hug, we don’t bite!” My sister gives them a hug (still not sure why) and I make my way over to the car to get into the back seat and the biggest of the three guys follows me, reaches over and grabs my crotch as I’m trying to get into the car. I was completely disgusted – thank god I was wearing jeans that night.  When I told everyone in the car what happened, the two guys thought it was funny.  Sick.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think the states need to take a serious step toward prosecuting for street harassment!  Post signs on streets – like littering, if you cat call or harass another person, you’ll be fined $500.  If you grope or touch someone, you’ll be arrested for assault.  I don’t think men even realize it’s illegal to do this – but if there were warnings, it would curb some of the behavior.  For the rest that still do it – I think we need to (safely) get out the camera phones and start reporting these people!!

– Kate

Location: Boston, MA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

Today I was walking down the street and got a “Hey beautiful.” On other occasions I’ve had a guy try to lift up my skirt multiple times, others making kissy sounds and whispering absurd things at me, yelling across the street to get my attention, and whistling at me (just to name a few). It is really tiring and degrading to be constantly under this microscope and while living in NYC I even took the long way to work just to avoid walking a particular street with guys that would sit out in the mornings and catcall me. On a particularly frustrating day, I decided to pen this letter, and I thought it might be worth sharing:

Dear Men of the World,

When you catcall and whistle at me as I walk down the street minding my own business, I do not take it as a compliment. It makes me feel uncomfortable and angry to be so blatantly objectified and dehumanized. This is not a problem with the clothes I wear, or the way I do my make up; this is a problem of sexism and hypersexualization of women. Allow me to explain why.

When you look at me and whistle, catcall, make some comment on my appearance or say something dirty, you completely ignore my personhood. You look at my body, my figure, my face, and immediately judge me. You ignore the person that is inside and discredit their importance by only giving the exterior importance. By focusing solely on this exterior shell and drawing attention to the ways in which it pleases you, you sexualize what is for me a mundane walk down the street.

Similar to every single other human being, I am more than just my body. I have a personality, feelings, am an intelligent being, and so much more. When you draw attention to my body and make no effort to get to know those other, more important aspects of me, you take away their importance– and these aspects make me a person. So no, it is not a compliment and I do not find it flattering. If you wish to say something to me on the street, make it worthwhile because if you actually are interested in me, take the time to get to know me. If you are not, keep walking and please keep your words to yourself. I am more than just my legs, torso, rear-end, chest, etc. — mannequins and sex dolls have those parts as well, yet they are not humans. Some women may appreciate this attention, but I am not one of them and I am not alone.

This dehumanization of women based solely on their outward appearance is sexism. We’re people, not objects built solely to display clothes or sexually please men, so please do not treat us as such.

Sincerely,
A Woman

– S

Location: St. Louis, NYC, Baltimore, Newark, Granada (Spain), Lima (Peru), Santiago (Chile)

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think we should all speak about this. I feel like it is time that the victims tell anyone who will listen how it makes us feel.