I was walking home after work yesterday. My journey always takes me through a small square with a few shops and a pub. Outside the pub was a group of about 6 or 7 men. I hadn’t noticed them at all when they started calling out “”titties”” and “”hot titties”” and other offensive sexual remarks in a very aggressive manner. I looked around and could see they were staring at me. I walked away at first but it made me so angry that I decided to confront them about it. All they did was to deny they were talking about me but every time I walked away they started shouting it again and were always looking at me when they did so. I told them I found it offensive and abusive. There must have been a part of them that recognised they had done something wrong because they denied it.

After the confrontation I felt incredibly vulnerable and shaken. I couldn’t stop myself from crying even while I bought my dinner in the shop. When I got home I called the police to ask if it was possible to report it as a crime, was it even a crime to begin with? I was given a crime reference number and two police officers were sent round to see me. They took as much detail as possible although they warned me that there might not be anything they could do. But they did say they would go round to the pub and talk to them if they were still there or even talk to the pub owner.

After seeing the video of the woman who secretly videoed her street harasser and posted it on the internet I tried to do the same thing. However in my shaken state I only took their picture but it did allow me to show this to the police. They told me that this behaviour used to be illegal but wasn’t any longer but in some cases they could be charged with anti-social behaviour.

I am not by nature a confrontational person, so for me, going up to a group of middle aged men was very intimidating and left me more shaken and upset than perhaps I would have been if I’d just walked by. However I would have been more frustrated with myself had I tried to ignore them and not stand up for myself. I just felt this knot of injustice in my stomach at the way they felt they had the right to speak to people like that. At how they targeted a woman on her own, probably assuming I would try and just walk away from them.

I am not ashamed to say that had it been the middle of the night without anyone else around my self preservation would have kicked in and I may just have tried to ignore it. But I now know that calling the police is an option even if they can’t do that much to help and if it had been the middle of the night, this behaviour might have been considered more threatening.

I still feel angry and upset about what happened but I’ve had so much support from my friends saying that it was brave of me to stick up for myself that I feel slightly more vindicated.

Thank you

Madeleine

Location: Hampton (London), UK

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories abut Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

I live in Washington Heights on 184th and Audubon. Not a day goes by that I am not harassed on the street and it’s usually more than once. Usually it’s inappropriate sexual comments and remarks about my looks. These men listen to my conversation while I am on the phone and think it’s okay to interrupt. Then they continue to get angry when I don’t stop everything I am doing and respond. It really amazes me that these men find any excuse to harass a young woman and they think it’s acceptable behavior.

Not only am I uncomfortable, but I am ashamed to walk around and I can not say anything back to them because I fear for my safety. I don’t have a voice and it’s scary.

I’m also called “white girl” in Spanish as I walk down the street. My room-mate and I were leaving the subway station and a man bumped into her in the rain. Instead of apologizing and moving on he screamed “move it you dumb blonde bimbo.” What happened to manners? Treating a woman with respect?

Treating EVERYONE with respect no matter what color or gender.

Washington Heights is living in a bubble separate from the rest of the integrated word and they need a huge wake up call. It’s 2014 NEW YORK CITY.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

More police outside on the streets. Make pepper spray more easily accessible to women. I would love if “Stop telling women to smile” would come uptown and do some artwork on Audubon. We need to spread the message.

– Anonymous

Location: New York City, NY

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

One time when I was 19 in Oakland, CA. I was walking down the street toward the MLK Museum and four guys in a car drove up and starting cat calling me. They said things like, ʺHey baby,ʺ ʺYou should be mine,ʺ ʺYou’re sexy,ʺ ʺI want that,ʺ ʺLet me hit that.ʺ I tried to ignore them but they kept following me.

I felt very afraid. I turned around and said, ʺI’m not interested, please goʺ and suddenly the driver got very mad and said, ʺYOU ARE GONNA GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER!ʺ and he acted like he was pulling the car toward the curb. I ran and he followed me in his car yelling, ʺGIVE ME YOUR NUMBER. I WANT IT NOWʺ. Luckily, I was two blocks from the museum and I just ran in, shaking. I was terrified. I didn’t know if they would follow me or wait for me.

I stayed in the museum for hours, hearing my heart race.

Especially, as someone who has been sexually assaulted in the past, it was a huge trigger for me. To this day, almost ten years later, when I see a car full of young men and I’m walking by myself, my heart starts racing.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Bring awareness. I think so many people think it’s normal and they think it’s a way of life. They do not fully understand how this affects women and women know they feel bad, but it’s hard to verbalize what happened. It’s a type of trauma sometimes. Sometimes women blame themselves based on how they are dressed, etc. We need to raise more awareness, and let people know what is acceptable and what isn’t. We also need to get women’s stories out there so we can bring a sense of compassion to those who harass us.

– Jasmine

Location: Oakland, CA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

I was a 19-year-old girl from a small town in the big city going to college.  I was already scared to death.  My apartment was six blocks from school and we walked every day.  Many times men shouted lewd things from cars or from construction jobs nearby.  It was a business college and we were required to wear dresses every day.

I always tried to walk to school as part of a group but one day during finals I was alone.  A car with several men in it drove by me slowly and shouted something about my “fine ass.'”  The went around the block and came by again slower, and shouted again, I was so scared, after they went by I ran the last couple of blocks in high heels.

I was 18 at the time, I’m 52 now and I can still remember this plain as day.  We do not or did NOT want the unwanted attention, it’s degrading, and inhumane!!  I felt like a piece of meat.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

By doing just what you’re doing and what most of us wanted to do but were by ourselves and scared. Confront the person and let them know this is NOT ok. I am also a child sexual abuse survivor and it’s empowering to watch you tell someone this is NOT ok, I wanted to do that as a child and was too scared. Giving women power is a great thing.

– Lynn

Location: Downtown St. Louis, MO

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

I went out shopping with my family and we entered this really crowded shop. As I tried to squeeze in between people to get to the exit after finding what I had needed, a man came really close and invaded my personal space intentionally. He gave me a once over and then said ʺyou’re prettyʺ while staring at my breasts. I chose to ignore him, but as I went out from the shop, I felt really embarrassed. I was especially shocked by the fact that he acted that way even though he was a grown man (27 ish) and I was only 17. When I stepped out of the shop, I looked back, and there he was standing, and laughing at me, as if he was saying, “I just degraded you and there is nothing you can do about it.”

That laugh is what really set me off, so i stopped, turned around and screamed at the top of my lungs ʺYOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!!!!ʺ needless to say, he was really shocked, as if he didn’t realize i actually had a voice and could stand up for myself. he then simply turned around and retreated back into the shop, and i felt very proud of the way i had reacted 🙂

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

We should raise awareness of the impact of street harassment on the victims and the way it makes them feel. We also have to teach the younger generations that it’s every human being’s right to feel safe wherever they go, and anyone who tries to change that is going to be punished by the law.

– Eya

Location: Nabel/Tunisia