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“Why don’t you think about your health instead of bothering young ladies?”

April 30, 2014 By Contributor

I am the kind of person that just ignore “compliments.” I don’t feel shame or angry when I receive them, I just forgot as I pass away because they don’t deserve any of my feelings.

But this time that man went too far.

It was morning and I was going to my office. An old man (about 60-70 idk) in his car yelled at me “Hey baby!”

As always, I pretend not to hear. He continued: “Hey, need a ride? Come here I’ll PAY you! How much is it?”

And that was the moment. That was an insult. I HAD to fight back.

I turn back, big smile on my face, and said with loud voice, “Hey you! How old are you? 80? [I know he wasn’t that old]” and I continued, “Your life is very near to the [natural] end*, so why don’t you think about your health instead of bothering young ladies?”

I saw his face turn red to purple. I walked away, smiling.

Was I rude pointing at his oldness? Yes, indeed. And I’m proud of it. You know why?

Because he “ASKED FOR IT.”

*There is a proverb in my dialect for saying this but I do not know how to translate it

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I think education is the key, especially for young boy. Then I would educate young girl too, not to be ashamed of what they are. There is no way a girl “ask for it.” But most important of all, media should stop to objectified woman. I think this constant advertising on the virility of men who come out only by subduing women, has affected both men and women in their stereotypes.

– EZ

Location: Italy

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“Saying things like women ask for it”

April 29, 2014 By Contributor

The other night me and my girlfriend went to a party. It was in a suburb in the north of Paris, where I would never normally go as I know it can be dangerous, especially for women. We got out of the metro at about 8 p.m. and walked to the party which was a fifteen minute walk. It was typical of the area with groups of men hanging around in the streets. It made me very uneasy and I was then nervous about leaving the party and getting to the next party we had to get to further inside Paris.

When we went to leave at about 11 p.m. we asked the girl who lived there and she assured us she’d never had any problems walking to the station. We got almost to the station (criss-crossing the street to avoid groups of men) when a car with two young guys in it slowed down and drove next to us slowly. I ignored them, and my girlfriend did what she normally does in harassment situations and made crazy-looking faces at them.

Eventually I looked at them. They were making comments about us and pretending to masturbate. I told them they were ugly, and they said, “like you” and laughed. I knew that it could get serious, and that no one would help us if it did, so I pulled out my phone and pointed it right at the guys face and took a picture. He stopped laughing and sped off very quickly. We were worried they would be waiting for us somewhere so we ran across the road and into a little grocery store.

A man in there asked what had happened and we told him two nasty guys had harassed us. He then went into an aggressive and angry speech about how women always pretend to be harassed to get attention and how it is all lies. My girlfriend argued back talking about women getting raped and he was getting in her face and aggressive and saying things like women ask for it etc, and that we were lesbians so who would rape us anyway? Eventually he left and we walked really quickly down into the metro and onto the train. Not a fun way to start our night out.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

After having very dangerous and serious harassment experiences in Paris, this is the first time I have ever taken out my phone and taken a picture of the harasser. It obviously wouldn’t work in every circumstance but it scared this guy and made him leave us alone quickly. I felt very empowered and would definitely use this approach again to be left alone.

– GracieParis

Location: Paris suburbs

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Total humiliation”

April 28, 2014 By Contributor

15 minute walk to the train station before work this morning. Today – so far so good. Just about to cross the last road to my train station….cue car full of young guys shouting and leering out of the windows at me.

Right in front of the shops I have to pass every day to catch my train. Total humiliation.

I wondered if I’d get punished by taking my suit jacket off before these losers think it’s summer.

– SJJ

Location: Treforest Train Station, Wales, UK

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Kotex Can’t Tell the Difference Between Harassment and a Compliment

April 28, 2014 By Contributor

By: Lauren Schechter

(en Español a continuación)

When I arrived in Lima, Peru, as an American exchange student about two months ago, I thought I knew about street harassment. I had read about it, I had experienced a few catcalls here and there, and I had even had an egg thrown at me out the window of a moving car. But it had never been as constant as what women here experience every day. During my first of many ten-minute walks to school, I experienced endless “piropos” –  honking, whistles, and of course the infamous kissing noises that Limeña women are forced to endure each time they walk down the street alone (and sometimes otherwise).

But apparently Kotex Perú can’t tell the difference between street harassment and a nice compliment. Through the Facebook page of “Paremos el Acoso Callejero,” a Lima-based organization for fighting street harassment, I came into contact with the following Kotex Peru ad with the caption “¡Los piropos me alegran todo el día/tarde/noche!” (Catcalls cheer me up all morning/afternoon/night!)


Ad Translation:

“Kotex Test: If you are walking down the street and you are cat-called, you:

  1. Laugh at the situation and keep walking
  2. Stop and give a look that could kill to whoever is catcalling you
  3. Take your lipstick out of your purse, put it on, and blow him a kiss”

Clearly, the sentiment of this ad is that “piropos,” or catcalls, are a compliment, and something to be appreciated. Listen, Kotex. This is not flirting. This is street harrassment.

A “piropo” isn’t It’s not about the fact that this man thinks I’m pretty. He’s not trying to brighten my day. He’s not trying to pay me a compliment. The smirks and laughter that often accompany these expressions make it clear that they’re meant to make women uncomfortable for the harrasser’s own entertainment.

There was certainly an online backlash to this ad – on Kotex Perú’s facebook page, on Twitter, and on the page of the organization I mentioned above. The company, evidently fearing the bad publicity this might cause, published the following photo.

Apology Translation:

“We ask the forgiveness of all the women who felt affected by the message posted on April 2, 2014. We posted it with the goal of incentivizing women to express themselves freely.”

There are a few reasons why I think this apology isn’t satisfactory. First of all, the company didn’t even remove the original post. Second, they didn’t even acknowledge the fact that catcalls aren’t a compliment, they’re street harrassment.

But then they went a step further. I’m sorry, implying that street harrassment is a compliment, and that it should brighten my day, and that I should blow my harrasser a kiss is supposed to make me feel more able to express myself freely? I don’t think so.

You know what might make Limeña women feel more able to express themselves freely? Equal use of public spaces without fear of harrassment.

Let Kotex Perú know how you feel about their normalization and glorification of street harassment:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/KotexPeru

Twitter: @KotexPeru

Want to receive updates on Paremos el Acoso Callejero’s efforts to fight street harassment in Lima?

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paremoselacosocallejero

Twitter: @noacosocalles

Website: http://paremoselacosocallejero.wordpress.com

Lauren Schechter is a junior studying Economics at the University of Oklahoma. She is currently studying abroad in Lima, Peru. In her free time she likes to travel, make music, and volunteer with the OU Women’s Outreach Center.

_______________ en Español ___________________

Kotex No Sabe la Diferencia

Cuando llegué a Lima-Perú como estudiante de intercambio hace dos meses, creí que sabía mucho sobre el acoso callejero. Había leído mucho, había recibido algunos piropos hasta alguna vez alguien me tiró un huevo desde un carro. Pero jamás iba tan constante como lo que las mujeres en Lima tienen que soportar todos los días. Durante mi primer de muchos caminos a la universidad, que duran solo diez minutos, experimenté piropos sin límite – bocadizos, silbidos, y por supuesto los infames sonidos de besos – que las mujeres limeñas tienen que soportar cada vez que pasan solas (o no siempre solas) por la calle.

Parece que Kotex Perú no sabe la diferencia entre un elogio lindo y el acoso callejero. A través de la página Facebook de “Paremos el Acoso Callejero” una organización limeña que lucha contra este tipo de comportamiento, encontré el siguiente mensaje de Kotex Perú con el subtítulo “¡Los piropos me alegran todo el día/tarde/noche!”

Sin duda, el sentimiento de este mensaje es que piropos son elogios, algo de que las mujeres deben apreciar. Pero los piropos no son un a manera de coquetear. Son acoso callejero.

Un hombre no me manda un piropeo porque piensa que soy bonita. No intenta alegrarme. No intenta darme un elogio. Porque las risas y sonrisas afectadas muchas veces, acompañan los piropos, es obvio que tengan la intención de poner incómodas las mujeres, por nada más que el entretenimiento del piropeador.

Había una reacción fuerte de este mensaje en la página Facebook de Kotex Peru, en Twitter y en lá pagina de la organización que mencioné antes. Las limeñas no estaban entretenidas por este mensaje. La compañía, obviamente con miedo de la publicidad negativa, publicó la foto siguiente:


Hay varias razones por lo que pienso que la disculpa no es suficiente. La compañía dejó en su página el mensaje original y, además, no reconoció que piropos no son elogios, y que son acoso callejero.  Pero hubo algo más. Lo siento, pero al decir que el acoso callejero es un eligió, que debe alegrarme hasta mandar un beso a mi piropeador ¿me hace sentir más libre de expresarme? ¿En serio?

Kotex, ¿saben qué haría que las mujeres limeñas se sientan más libres de expresarse? El uso igualitario de espacios públicos, sin el acoso callejero.

¿Quieres avisar a Kotex Perú cómo te sientes sobre su normalización y glorificación del acoso callejero?

Facebook: www.facebook.com/KotexPeru

Twitter: @KotexPeru

¿Quieres recibir noticias sobre los esfuerzos de Paremos el Acoso Callejero contra el acoso callejero en Lima?

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paremoselacosocallejero

Twitter: @noacosocalles

Website: http://paremoselacosocallejero.wordpress.com

 

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Filed Under: offensive ads, street harassment

“I felt so uncomfortable”

April 27, 2014 By Contributor

I remember one day I was walking up the streets in the town of Rincon, Puerto Rico. There was a surfing contest going on and everybody had bathing suits as attire. I remember some cars stopped by to make inappropriate comments… I felt so uncomfortable. C’mon guys haven’t you seen a girl in a bathing suit?… I know I just kept walking and looked down the road…

– Anonymous

Location: Puerto Rico

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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