Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Catcalling is not flattering”

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There is a construction crew next to my apartment, which is close to my school. I bike to and from school and my place, and twice while riding to school, I have been catcalled by the workers. The first time they called out, “Hey, bonita! (Hey, beautiful)!”

I ignored it. The second time just happened, and as I rode past them, one of them wolf whistled at me. I’m scared because they can probably see where I live because my apartment is within their eyesight. I’m scared that if I respond, or even if I don’t respond at all, one of them is going to get mad enough to follow me home.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

For construction crews, I would like to know how to contact their manager so I can tell him or her that the crew is being paid to work, not to harass people who pass them – especially women who are young enough to be their daughters. Catcalling is not flattering, it doesn’t make men look “macho,” it just makes them creepy.

– MB

Location: Dallas, Texas – Snider Plaza

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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Attacked on Holi

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This year I experienced the Holi Festival in Udaipur – it is the festival of colors… and sexual harassment. People on the street wish a “Happy Holi,” and then smash colors in your face.

In the morning, everything starts quite nicely and polite, and it’s fun exchanging colors and watching your face design change every other second. But there was a moment when I asked my travel friend, if he also gets hugged by all the guys. He said none of the young Indian men tried to hug him.

By midday my ass had been grabbed several times and young men that wanted to take selfies had touched me on several spots of my body including ass and boobs. I wanted to get out of the crowd and find a quiet place somewhere. This mission happened to be a mission impossible as there were groups of guys everywhere – rushing through the streets on motorbikes or gathering on the street – that seemed to have lost complete control and had a very aggressive straight forward attitude.

I got slapped in the face by one of three guys passing us on a motorcycle and hit by several water bombs thrown at my neck. Then one guy asked me if he can kiss me, I said no and lied about my friend being my husband… which didn’t change anything at all, as I had to jump up cause he just tried to kiss me.

By that time (maybe 2pm), I could only see young men on the streets, and for the first time while I was in India, I didn’t feel safe anymore. Not even a male company seemed to impress those guys. To get me out of target zone we walked towards a restaurant with a rooftop terrace we already knew.

Therefore we had to pass a pathway between a river and a house. I could already see maybe six or seven guys play fighting on this path and stopped, but as they said it’s just fun and opened the way for me to pass, I thought I’m good (although I didn’t really like the idea of walking between them with the only chance to move forward or backward). When I passed they kind of jumped on me, at least three of them and hugged me, touched me and tried to kiss me, with my back against the wall. I think the others separated my friend from me. I somehow managed to push through them out of the sexual harassment zone, whereas they tried to follow.

My friend said he pushed one of them aside. I couldn’t see anything, it all happened too fast. I just knew that it was not safe anymore. We waited for two hours at the restaurant before getting back to the accommodation. I spent a lot of time thinking about the incidents and my friend read an article about women in India and that actually smiling at a man, not to mention physical contact of any kind (even shaking hands), uncovered shoulders, hugs and selfies should be avoided. So it’s all on the women’s side again?!?

I feel angry and upset towards myself, that I always evaluate my behavior before I react. And as a woman, I always think I might overreact to a situation. And then again I’m angry that I’m angry with myself. That makes no sense at all. Cause it’s men’s misbehavior.

I want to fight against this social fact that women always have to defend their behavior whereas men so many times just get away with it. If a man gets touched by another man, there is an immediate direct reaction. They would never think about the possibility of overreacting. Never. They just react how they feel. It really pisses me off, that it’s so hard for me to just do the same. To say, no it’s not okay to stare at me, no I don’t like you touching me (even if it might be without any sexual motive… which my friend points out never happens… there is always a hidden motive if a man touches a woman).

I hate being a target and I hate the men that make us women feel odd when we draw the line, giving us the impression we overreact. No we don’t. We have the right to say if we don’t like what’s going on. And we need support by all the men that see it the same way. Stand up for our rights!

– Cornelia

Location: Holi Festival/ Udaipur/ India

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“He has an audience for his choices”

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I began noticing that I was receiving unwanted male attention when I was a teenager. It made me feel dirty, taken advantage of, wrong, ashamed, and angry. I am surprised to find that at 30 years old, as a confident, empowered woman, it still makes me feel the same things.

The other day, I was wearing a sheer maxi skirt over shorts, waiting alone at a crosswalk. A turning truck featured a young man hanging out the window of his car gawking at me for a solid seven seconds. I went from enjoying a summer day to feeling exposed, horrified, and livid. I wished I had my boyfriend with me, and then thought, in 2018, I can’t believe that a woman would still want male accompaniment for protection.

I glared back at the young man, but it wasn’t enough. In street harassment exchanges, I always feel like they have the upper hand. What can I do to react quickly enough to make a statement to him and others that THIS IS NOT OKAY? To fight back and not feel powerless?

The very next day, I was walking back to our car from a nice restaurant, arm in arm with my boyfriend. My skirt was mid thigh and I wore low heels. A car pulled in from the road and a man honked at me and shouted, “Hey, you!”

I flipped him the bird and kept walking. Now I feel that I can’t wear what I want, what makes me feel stylish and beautiful, because of men. Not only do I not make myself pretty for men, I must make myself ugly because of them?

I am a tango dancer, but that night at class, I couldn’t dance with anyone. It affected my life, my passion, my hobbies, all because I felt so powerless. That my male friends would not understand. That my female friends would say “that’s life,” and “don’t wear short skirts.” I downloaded a wallpaper on my phone that says “F**K OFF!” that I can quickly flash at strangers. I don’t know how, but men need to be called on this shit.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

React – negatively. Let the offender know that he has upset you. Let the people around you know that he has misbehaved and you are not going to be quiet about it. Keep your eyes open and stand up for other women. If I so much as see a man checking out a lady, I will ostentatiously watch him. He needs to know he has an audience for his choices.

– Elizabeth M

Location: Dunwoody, Georgia

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“I rerouted my way home”

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I was walking home from school (only a few blocks) and was whistled at… it made me feel uncomfortable and I was so close to being in front of my house that I rerouted my way home so that this person wouldn’t know where I lived. It made me feel unsafe and very angry. It made me sad for anyone else who has had a similar experience.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Support each other. Spread awareness that this behavior is totally unacceptable and should NOT be normalized.

– Anonymous

Location: Salt Lake City, UT

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“I was in shock the whole night”

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I was just finishing my shopping trip in NYC. I just left the store. I was wearing a light jacket and I had a small backpack on my back. I was holding one shopping bag from a store that is not a high end store at all. I wasn’t even all dressed up-I was wearing super casual clothes, my hair was in a bun and I just had eyeliner on. I looked super innocent. I did absolutely nothing and said nothing to anyone to have caused anything to have happened.

It’s kind of a blur in my mind how it all started, but all I could remember was someone cursing at me right when I left the store and was walking on the sidewalk. And then I think I kind of froze in fear because I didn’t know what to do. Then I was petrified that this person was going to hurt me, so I had my shopping bag all ready as my defense mechanism…I clearly wasn’t thinking at first.

Thank goodness my senses kicked in after that, and I then started to shriek and I ran as fast as I could. I ran into the first store that was still open because there were no cops on that street to be found. I told the store owners that I was seeking safety in their store. I was in such shock, my entire body was shaking like crazy and my heart was pounding so hard and fast.

The store owner asked me what happened and what the person looked like. I tried my best to recall, but it was a blur in my head. I don’t even know if it was a girl or boy. I was just really grateful that the store owner was really nice and he went outside to see if he could find anyone suspicious. He didn’t really know who to look for because I couldn’t describe the person to him. I then ubered home.

I was still shaking and my heart was still racing. Boy was I scared. I was in shock the whole night and then only a few hours it happened I started to cry from fear and shock of what happened.

I am tearing as I type this. I am still really traumatized from what happened. It feels good though to get this off my chest.

– Anonymous

Location: Broadway Street, NYC

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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