Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“It happens to men as well”

By

I was riding a rented beach cruiser bike along Newport Beach with my sister when two young girls behind us started making comments about me saying “he’s going to f*** us” and giggling to themselves. We rode away from these weird girls as fast as we could.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

The only thing I can think of is what’s being done here, make people aware of it and the damage done and hopefully get some laws passed.

Maybe some videos where people tell their stories as well. Also it happens to men as well, if less often.

– Anonymous

Location: Newport Beach, CA

 

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
Share

USA: Winter Street Harassment

By

By: Delia Harrington, Massachusetts, USA, Former SSH Correspondent

Delia Harrington

“What were you wearing?”

It’s one of the most common questions people ask me after I tell a story of experiencing street harassment.  Some people seem to genuinely believe that there is a combination of precautions that will protect us from street harassment.  Go out at the correct time of day, in the right part of town, wearing certain clothes, taking specific modes of transportation, and accompanied by the precise number and gender of companions, and all will be well.  They see my stories as parable, and want to know how they can avoid a similar fate.  If we focus on the clothing of the person who was harassed, it makes the solution seem simple: don’t wear that skirt/tight clothes/short hemlines/pants/leggings as pants/fill in the blank, and you will be safe.

Unfortunately, this common line of thought (even amongst otherwise-progressive, well-meaning people) excuses the bad behavior of the harasser,  unfairly labels men as incapable of resisting the allure of certain articles of clothing, puts the responsibility to stop street harassment on the victim, and ignores the reality of the situation.  It shouldn’t matter what any of us wear, we still have the right to move through public spaces safely and in peace.  We shouldn’t spend time on the regressive excuse that “boys will be boys.”  Men and boys are capable of being kind and respectful individuals, but this logic assumes that’s not true when it expects so little of them.  Changing what we wear is an individual solution for a collective problem.  It may keep you from being hollered at, but will it help anyone else?  And how safe do you really feel when you see someone else harassed, even if you are left alone?  Finally, as many of you who have been harassed in a  variety of outfits know, street harassment happens no matter what we wear, so why should we attempt to conform to an ever-moving standard of what clothing is the kind that will keep us safe.

In Boston it has been extremely cold this winter, and the Polar Vortex has brought snow not just to us, but to Washington DC, Texas, Alabama, and many other areas that do not generally experience such a harsh winter.  With this bitter cold, many of us have taken to wearing big puffy hats, long coats that resemble sleeping bags with arms, fluffy scarves, and other cold weather gear.  It’s not uncommon to see people walking around with not much skin showing other than a little red nose.  How then do we explain street harassment in cold weather?  Surely there is nothing suggestive about my utilitarian boots and shapeless coat.

If street harassment were really a product of what we wear and how sexually appealing our clothing is, winter in New England would be a harassment-free zone.  No one would ever bother me when I’m sick and wearing ratty sweats, and I wouldn’t hear so many stories of people wearing work-appropriate outfits or jeans and t-shirts when they were harassed.  But the posts over at Hollaback! Boston (as well as NYC and Chicago) show that even cold winters, when people are bundled from head to toe, are not immune to street harassment.  Women wearing abayas, niqabs, hijabs and burqas are victims of street harassment and even assault.  How much looser could their clothing have been?  How much more covered could they be?  The only plausible answer is that they could have simply never left the house.  If you listen to people who attempt to police women’s clothing in the guise of concern for their safety and well-being, you will soon realize that no article of clothing will ever be modest enough, because the real goal of street harassment is to exercise power.  Power to make women and LGBTQ folks conform to the desires of the harasser, feel unsafe, and feel like disappearing from public spaces is the only safe option.

Unfortunately, it is simply not that easy to escape street harassment.  We cannot simply check off the right boxes and proceed to walk around without bother.  It is important that we continue to speak up when we hear this faulty logic, and remind our communities that people are harassed in all kinds of outfits, at all times of day or night, by all kinds of people, all over the world.

The next time someone asks you what you were wearing when you were harassed, ask them why that matters.  Remind them that people are subject to street harassment no matter what they wear, and that harassers are the only people responsible for their behavior.

Delia Harrington is a recent graduate of Northeastern University and calls Boston home. In recent years, she has found herself studying, working, and volunteering in Egypt, Cuba, France, Benin, the Dominican Republic, Turkey, Germany, and Greece.  You can read more of her writing on her blog, or follow her on Facebook and Twitter, @deliamary.

Share

“I just don’t understand what these men hope to accomplish”

By

I started training for a half marathon about two months ago. I run outside because I hate running on a treadmill, and my neighborhood is always busy. Men, usually older men, will stop and stare at me, turning around to watch as I run by. Sometimes they say things, sometimes they don’t, but it’s the intensity of their stares that really unnerves me. I keep my eyes forward and ignore them, but it makes me really unhappy to have to feel so uncomfortable in my neighborhood and as I’m trying to have a decent workout. Today I realized that I likely don’t even realize how much it’s happening, as a pause in between songs let me hear two men yelling loudly at me from across the street.

I just don’t understand what these men hope to accomplish by this behavior. Do they really expect me to stop my workout, take out my headphones, catch my breath, and engage with them? I try to look irritated and angle my body away from them, but don’t know how to make the whole situation less miserable.

– Anonymous

Location: Washington, D.C.

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

Share

“Young boys, hardly 10 years old, already harassing women?!”

By

Seven years ago, when I was 18, I went to Delhi to study. My hostel room-mate and I used to walk nearly half a kilometer from our hostel to the classes and back, daily. Once, on our way back from the classes, at around 4 p.m. (the road was bustling and it was still broad daylight), an empty mini bus slowed down next to us and started crawling at our pace. The conductor of the bus grinned at us and started asking where we were going. My room mate and I ignored him and kept walking. The bus continued crawling for about another two minutes, and the conductor kept on insisting that we board the bus. There were people around but no one seemed to be bothered by it. I bet no one would have cared even if one of us were forcefully pulled into the bus. We made sure we maintained our distance till the driver and the conductor lost interest and went off.

Another time, when my roommate and I were on our way back, at around 3 in the afternoon, we bought some fruits on the way. While walking we saw 2-3 young boys (8-11 years old) on their bicycles. The started laughing and racing towards us. One of them stretched his arm at me as he passed, and I swung the fruit bag away thinking that he’s trying to snatch it. I thought it was some silly game of theirs. We kept walking without bothering about those kids, till suddenly he came from behind and smacked me on my butt!! That’s when we realized that they had no interest in our belongings. They were sexually harassing us!!

Young boys, hardly 10 years old, already harassing women?!! They probably don’t even know why they are doing it. They just learn from their surroundings and absorb this kind of behavior from the men around them. I was so shocked that I didn’t know how to react. I shudder to think what horrors these little kids will be capable of, once they grow into men…

S. K.

Location: Janakpuri, New Delhi, India

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

Share

“I started a “Cat Call Count” on my computer, but lost count after I lost my spirit”

By

I’m an exchange student from the USA currently in Ecuador, a beautiful country for its nature and culture. However, like many countries, there is also a strong “rape culture.” Spanish speakers would call the country “Machista”. Here, it is disgustingly common (and socially acceptable) for men to cat call the women and treat them like they are less than human beings.

To be honest, when I experienced a cat call for the first time here, I admit, I thought it was funny and kind of flattering. I thought, ‘Hey, they actually think I’m pretty.’ That was the last time I thought that. Every time I walk to the bus stop, I am honked at by men behind steering wheels and cars full of boys who whistle and shout things at me. The scariest is when I am just walking home at dusk with thoughts occupying my mind and all of a sudden, a deafening honk from a truck makes me jump out of my reverie and into a world where it’s funny to scare teenage girls walking by themselves. I’ve seen the faces of fully grown men, laughing to each other when they see I glance at the oncoming vehicle that beeped at me. I have learned to not look up.

I have never given the middle finger to anyone in my life, but one day, I thought it would be an interesting experiment to see someone’s reaction. As I was walking to the bus as usual, a truck with two men passed by, with the head of the passenger sticking out as he called to me. He said words like cute and pretty and I flipped him off. My heart was racing but I kept eye contact with him as his face fell into a kind of dumb stupor. The look of an excited boy who doesn’t understand why he’s gotten socks for Christmas. Later, I felt a panic. ‘What if they turn around? What if they kidnap me?’ It may have been an overreaction, but the fact that those possibilities enter my mind when I’m just walking on the sidewalk shows that this beautiful country isn’t as beautiful as it seems.

I shouldn’t have to carry a whistle in my bag. (Even though my best Ecuadorian friend tells me, even if you blew that whistle, no one would do anything. That is my culture.) I shouldn’t have to think about all the possible ways to defend myself with the rocks and shards of glass on the sidewalk.

I started a “Cat Call Count” on my computer, but lost count after I lost my spirit. I didn’t want to tally the honks and the “complements” anymore.

I know blonde people are a little scarce in this country, but it is no excuse to treat me like some zoo animal. The stares and shouts are unwanted and they don’t even notice.

– AKB

Location: Quito, Ecuador

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

Share