One night I was harassed three times within 20 minutes.

I’m a student and I recently went out for some drinks with friends and they carried on after I left at around midnight. I walked home alone because it was only 20 minutes from my house and I cant afford to get taxi’s everywhere.

I had just left my friends (wearing a coat and jeans) and walked past some men who cat called me, then it happened again with another man I walked past, and then a student stood drunk outside of his house.

It makes me feel incredibly scared, every time I walk past any males at night I put my head down and wish for them to walk past silently.
I feel so awful about this!! In the day I feel perfectly safe and if anybody talks at me, even if I don’t like it, i feel comfortable and calm. At night it seems like these men really would do something to me if I replied in the wrong way, I would love to shout back at them the same way they do to me but I am terrified of what would happen.

Please let this stop soon!!

– Chloe

Location: Swansea, Wales

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Since I was in middle school, I’ve been honked at, stared at, and had vulgar things of a sexual nature yelled at me. In high school, my friends and I would count how many times we got honked at during the 7 minute walk from our campus to a restaurant nearby- if I remember correctly, our record was 17.

Today, I was walking from my college campus to my apartment in broad daylight, and a delivery truck driver began honking and staring at me, and when I went to cross the street he began yelling lewd things at me. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, and vulnerable- and it was only 2pm.

I’m currently writing a letter to the company the truck and driver belonged to inform them of the incident and that, as a result, I will always have a negative connotation of their company. Things like this need to stop. I should be able to walk down the street without being treated like this- it is scary and disgusting.

– Anonymous

Location: Boston, MA

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This is not my story, but a friend showed me that she found this on Craigslist’s “Missed Connections.” This man’s perspective on what he can do to a woman and his thinking that she liked it is NYC street harassment epitomized. The full text has been copied below, and is also available here.

“You caught my attention when i saw you at w4 station when i was waiting for the F train. you walked by me and think you knew i was looking at you. we got in the same car n at some point of the ride i happened to be behind you. you had a hat, underneath (curly) hair parted around your neck. could see the bare back of the neck. it looked beautiful and i wanted kiss it so bad…. i couldnt. instead i blew my breath gently on it. i knew you could feel it and i think you liked it. we both got off on 2nd ave. i saw you climb the stairs cross the towards east and disappear. this is a looooong shot. hope you are reading this.”

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I wish NYC had a campaign to raise awareness about the illegality of street harassment. Multiple times, I have responded to men who have harassed me or friends by calmly explaining that their behavior is sexist and illegal, only to be met with, “It’s a free country” followed by some derogatory term, usually “bitch” or “slut.” Men need to feel the pressure that this is punishable.

When I was 12, I was at a deli paying for my items. The man behind the counter asked for my “digits.” I froze and finally said no. He persisted and wouldn’t let me check out for a few minutes. I went home, extremely shaken and told my mom what happened. She went down and spoke to the manager and he assured her it wouldn’t happen again. Even so, I avoided that store like the plague… I was scared it would happen again; I wouldn’t even look in the window. I had been shopping there all my life and suddenly felt afraid to set foot inside.

– RE

Location: Upper West Side, NYC

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I was at the store, minding my business, when a man approached me and told me that I had “great birthing hips.” I turned around and told him that his comment was completely inappropriate and that he should probably never say it to anyone ever again.

This was the most violated that I have ever felt, but I was proud of myself for being able to stand up to him and say something. I deal with harassment on the streets pretty often, but this man took it to a new level. I couldn’t just walk away and not say anything.

– DA

Location: Denver, CO Grocery Store

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