This is written by SSH Community Member Michelle Paggi and cross-posted with permission from Jezebel’s GroupThink.
Source: We Will Ride Bicycles FB Event Page
“Riding a bicycle and feeling the breeze of the air is one of our simplest dreams,” said the campaign’s event page, adding that all women should be allowed to freely ride bicycles without being harassed or judged.
The activists behind the campaign said they chose the theme of riding bicycles to promote women and girl’s rights to run errands through cycling without being afraid of attracting negative reaction in the streets.
As a woman who lives in the United States, I acknowledge that whatever oppression I face pales in comparison to that which many women face elsewhere in the world. I can ride my bike around NYC without facing the level of harassment women in Egypt face. However, in reading about this campaign, I couldn’t help being reminded of the countless times that I have indeed been sexually harassed while cycling around here.
I’ll start with the most recent instance that I remember (my brain dumps most of the street harassment I experience). I was going downhill on Fordham Road, which, if you’ve ever biked on it, you know how treacherous it is for cyclists because of all the traffic and the potholes. As I was coasting along, some joker decided it would be funny to step onto the road and hold his hand out in my direction.
Did I mention I was coasting downhill on one of the most treacherous roads in NYC? I highly doubt this guy would have dared to distract a male cyclist in this manner…Not only would the implied threat of male violence probably be enough to deter him from doing so, but as a lady cyclist, I don’t get the sense that men take me seriously while I’m on my bike. In other words, men don’t seem to get that, like male cyclists, I have somewhere to be! This isn’t a leisurely cruise just for funzies…This is my commute! Like male cyclists, I want to get to my destination as quickly and safely as possible…and yes…I’m pretty fucking fast…you best not distract someone who’s going nearly the same speed as a car!
A couple of years ago, I was cycling on the Hudson River Greenway and some guy comes up from behind me and said something to the effect of “I was riding behind you – I liked to watch you ride.” He then got off at his exit, leaving me feeling sick…This guy, who was all decked out in spandex riding an expensive road bike and could thus have easily passed me, had just told me that he was instead staring at my ass while chasing me on his bike. In other words, I was being stalked at about 20 miles per hour. This was a whole new level of dangerous…
Another time on the Hudson River Greenway, some other spandex-clad, expensive bike guy decided it would be fun to start racing me. We were already cycling really fast…it’s not like we had previously agreed to a race. He just pulled up next to me and started saying “GO GO GO,” because that’s not distracting or rude or dangerous or anything…Again, would he have challenged another man to a race in this manner? I somehow doubt it…
Most of the time I’m harassed while I’m on my bike, it’s in the same form women experience while they’re walking: Catcalls. As someone who’s both a pedestrian and a cyclist in NYC, I can say with confidence that being catcalled while cycling is a bigger threat to my sense of safety because it distracts me from a task that requires my full attention.
As is demonstrated by studies of rates of sexual harassment, namely the one above on Egyptian women, we face sexual harassment no matter what we’re wearing, no matter the time of day. Many of the times I’ve been harassed while on my bike, I was indeed wearing a dress, which seems to excite men as though they have never seen a woman’s crotch. However, most of the time I’m cycling, and most of the time I’ve experienced street harassment while cycling, I was wearing pants, leggings, or my cycling gear. As long as it’s obvious I occupy a woman’s body, there’s no escaping the additional danger I face for committing the crime of cycling while female. In addition to avoiding collisions with cars, pedestrians, traffic cones, and debris, I have to stay focused despite the discomfort and, at times, the direct threats to my safety I experience when I’m harassed while riding my bike.
Major hats off to the organizers of the We Will Ride Bicycles campaign in Egypt! You all are not only fighting street harassment in your own country, but you may be alerting people around the world to the fact that cycling is indeed more dangerous for women because of the street harassment we are practically guaranteed to experience.
[Editor’s Note: If you’re in Washington, D.C., there will be a similar event next Saturday, Oct. 19, benefiting our friends Collective Action for Safe Spaces! Info/RSVP.]
After three boys followed me home for about 20 minutes, it wasn’t until I was waiting for my front gate to open that it escalated.
They approached me and asked if they could come in, POLITELY I declined, at which point one of them suggested, “I look like the easy sort.”
One of the boys, no older than 20, was asking me for my number, and I politely declined again, at which point, one of the other boys spat on me, and shouted ‘slut’ in my face, and all three walked away back up the street laughing, leaving me humiliated and covered in saliva.
Thankfully, I have never seen any of these boys again. I hope this is not their usual method of ‘chatting up’ girls…I cant see it having a high success rate.
I was at the back of the bus today and a very large man was sitting directly to the right of me. As a defense mechanism, I endlessly stared at my phone, attempting not to make eye contact as he spat on the floor of the bus and loudly yelled out obscenities (to apparently no one in particular).
At one point he seems disoriented (–intoxicated) and started loudly screaming ,”Where the fuck are we going?” repeatedly. He pulled out a 40 of Olde English and begins to chug it – which distracted him for a while – but then he persisted in his loud questioning about the bus destination. He finally got a few muffled answers from nervous passengers but no one really spoke up. I finally said something and explained what buses he should take home, despite his condescending tone.
When I attempted to ignore him afterwards he began “complimenting me” – calling me a “good girl” and finally he said, “You should smile.” It really stung and I let out an audible sigh (which he later mocked). He claimed that he was a good guy and that he had been nothing but pleasant since the moment he got on the bus.
I felt trapped on that bus and quite afraid for my safety. I have been thinking about it for hours now.
A 23-year-old guy has been stalking me, a 14-year-old, for months. I told a friend of mine about this and when she tried speaking to him about this issue, he threatened to rape her and used extremely sexually explicit words. After this incident, I never spoke to him but he used to sit in front of my house every day. Then, about a month later, he asked me to come and meet him but when I denied, he threatened to defame my character. He also spread a rumor saying that I kissed him and that I was physically involved with him. Now I am planning to file a police complaint against him.
Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?
Raising voice can be the only suggestion, many cases go unreported. Voice has to be raised against the wrong.
I had the idea for this letter after yet another day with an incident of being harassed on the street, reacting by sighing or shaking my head, and then getting told off for not accepting the compliment – the harasser hiding under the proclaimed guise of ‘just being nice’. It’s not one I could imagine being able to recite or hand to harassers with any real effect of change, but it helped me to articulate my thoughts, nonetheless.
Dear Men of New York City,
We would like to explain a couple of things re: sidewalk etiquette vis à vis women.
You may have noticed when you see a woman on the street and you turn to her as she is walking past and make some quick comment about her body, her dress or her overall appearance, one of a few things might happen. She might: a) blush and quicken her pace, ignoring her addresser, b) roll her eyes and/or let out a barely audible exasperated sigh, or c) let out an angry retort. While this letter in no way endorses rudeness on behalf of anyone, women included, we feel that you ought to have some sense of why this happens All.The.Time.
Some simple but extremely misguided answers would be that that women a) secretly want this to happen, but need to play coy, b) think they’re too good for you, or c) are bitches. Unfortunately for simplicity, things are more complex than that.
The truth is we do not hate men. We do not think we are better than men. But we do have a unique set of social sensibilities, emblazoned on our psyches – sensibilities which are central to all that it is to be feminine.
Notice a couple of things in the scenario described above: often, the woman is alone. Understand this: regardless of how far women have come in the workplace, in athletic prowess or intellectual achievement, a woman walking alone is vulnerable. She may be physically safe in a given milieu, but she is as vulnerable as a sitting duck to gaze, to emotional and psychological assault. She feels that she is vulnerable, hence you may also notice that she is walking briskly, and not making more than millisecond-long eye contact with any one of the dozens of people she is encountering. This signifies that she is striving to maintain some dignity, and while she may indeed be sexually attractive, she is donning a pose of modesty that is intended as a quiet plea to curb your enthusiasm. It is a conscious effort to avoid being addressed unnecessarily. To ignore this plea and disturb the tranquility of her psychological state by imposing your comments, opinions, or interjections on her app earance is not only rude, it is harassment, however mild or flattering.
What a woman understands at a fundamental level, which you also know, is that men will quite frequently see women as sexual objects. This is simply a given. However, this does not have to inform how people behave in society. As you can see, there is generally an imbalance between the sexes. While a woman can indeed be attracted to men, her interest is rarely so common, so frequent, nor so psychologically penetrating as that of men. Obviously. Men are (again, generally) the aggressors: historically, anthropologically, sexually. The fact of the matter is also that women have an equal role in society, and we are free to go about our business unescorted, without invoking whispers of indecency. It is our responsibility to supervise our own actions in accordance with the current norms of decency. It is your responsibility to do the same. Your sexual psyche is more active. This does not mean that women are more inviting to sexual advance. As explained above, sometimes the case is qu ite the contrary. So, please respect our autonomy, our right to freely move about in society, and out of general social decency avoid imposing your sexuality on us, unasked.
Now, we know you can always beg plausible deniability. “I was just trying to be nice.” “I really just liked the color of her dress.” On that score, I do regret that overall defensiveness can leave words of kindness under-appreciated. And I do hope, if you are a sincere sort of man, that you do receive the thanks you are due. However, even you ought to understand the delicate balance that needs to be struck. Any comment on a woman’s appearance is in effect a comment on her body. You may try to dress this in a less creepy way, but you know it’s true. When a woman is exhibiting such signs of guardedness, however, even a compliment on her outfit is received as sexual aggression. This is precisely because she is in a vulnerable position, and you know it, and she knows you know it, which is why you feel empowered as a stranger to speak freely, as you would not if her boyfriend, husband, brother or father, or even a group of other women were aroun d. This vulnerability does not justify your comments; rather it should quell them. That is all we ask.
Note also, this is not a guide to addressing women for courtship purposes. Should women exhibit signs of being open to courtship, different social norms and etiquette apply. On the other hand, this letter should help inform when such courtship efforts are appropriate. Just in case you thought otherwise, “anytime” is not the appropriate time for your comings on.
Sincerely, etc.
Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?
I have an idea that if you stop and talk to them frankly about how degrading and rude it is for them to talk like that to women, how repulsive it makes them to women, and suggest a dose of dignity and respect, maybe they’ll be taken aback, having expected complacent, passive behavior rather than a sincere conversation. However, I think the problem is too deep for that.
I tried this method today. A man, pushing a stroller with a small child no less, walked past me and said ‘mm you’re sexy’. i looked at him and told him, ‘you know, that’s very rude. it’s actually sexual harassment, and it’s not welcome.’
He kept walking and literally brushed off my comments – waving his hand in an ‘eh, you’re too stupid to bother listening to’ kind of gesture.
I was livid, but also convinced that nothing I could have said or done in response would have caused a different reaction. The way I see it, he was poorly brought up, and the saddest thing is, he’s teaching his child it’s okay to behave like this as well. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle, and I think a part of it comes down to women taking charge as mothers.
SO, LADIES, choose the fathers of your children wisely, as partners who will bring up good men, united with you on how to behave with women. If you did not expect to be a mother, recognize this responsibility nonetheless. Be strong and guide your sons to respect women, both by living by example and by encouraging and instilling good, respectful behavior in them.
