I live in an apartment complex and we are not allow to smoke in our apartment, so I go outside to the designated smoking area. While smoking, two men harassed and stalked me three times and would not leave me alone. I reported this to the landlord and the local police but was blown off, even though I had four witnesses that were willing to give their testimony.

Even after telling this second man NO many times, he would not leave me alone. He doesn’t even live here but apparently takes care of an older gentlemen that does and harasses me almost everyday. I feel afraid and angry to leave my apartment. I have told the landlord here but she will not believe me and even the police will not do anything even after I show them the witnesses and the log I have kept since these two incidents began.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I don’t know. Most the men here are living by themselves and hit on every single women here but when you turned them down they slander you, and have almost everyone here turned against you.

– Kathryn N

Location: Pittsburgh, PA

A man said to me, “You are so ugly that your frown even makes you uglier. You should smile.”

I had a knee-jerk response and calmly and with appropriate assertiveness said, “You are not Mr. America yourself. Don’t ever tell a woman to smile.”

He preceded to walk behind me into the store I had entered. (It was daylight, noon, in a crowded and public area). He started screaming obscenities about me. He left.

I went up to the counter to pay and he re-enter the store and ran towards me with a huge full soda and threw it all over me. I knew it was going to hit me and what was happening and decided to just stand there and roll my eyes. Stand my ground and be calm.

I usually prescribe to either no engagement or deescalation. I was at my tipping point. Tired of this happening to me and others countless times, especially during our current political environment. I do believe this man was a street person with a possible mental health issue. I felt extremely angry and also started apologizing to the owners of the store and those around me. I have been so conditioned as an apologizer, even though it was him and not me.

I haven’t let go of the anger but also feel sad for him. Mental health services have been cut significantly and he clearly needs some assistance. I do think in this case that was a factor. I am still questioning my response and reaction. My resistance book club will choose one of your suggested books for our next book club and we are looking into have a trainer come for self defense and overall discussion on reacting to street harassment.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

If more women speak up and we get a hashtag/social media campaign viral similar to #MeToo . Not easy to do but I think if I had a choice that would be it if possible.

– Karen G.

Location: Chicago, IL in the Loop outside a convenience store in a very busy business district.