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New Book Tackles Street Harassment, Other Feminist Topics

August 27, 2013 By Contributor

By: Julie Mastrine, USA

In the fight against street harassment other gender inequalities, our voices are our most powerful weapons.

This is something I’ve always believed. The fight for social justice is difficult and fraught with roadblocks, chief among them flawed cultural attitudes. The best thing we can do to create change and end issues like street harassment is to fight the fear in our bellies and give a face to these incidents. Stories have power, and they can provide the groundwork we need to help others understand the links between personal injustices and how they connect to a broader, global issue.

This was the thinking behind the creation of my new ebook, Make Your Own Sandwich: A 20-Something’s Musings on Living Under (And Smashing) The Patriarchy. Plenty of people have pegged Millennials as lazy, entitled and narcissistic, but the truth is, our generation has championed the use of new technologies as a way to create lasting change in the world away from our computer screens. Opening up about our experiences online through ebooks, blogging and social media has proven an effective and pervasive way to ignite the change we want to see.

And just what change do we want? My book delves into the more subtle ways we harm and oppress others, like creating conflicting media messages about how women should look or act, using language that pegs femininity as weak or trivial, criticizing how — or if — women wear makeup, taunting women who engage in self-portraiture like the selfie, and yes, street harassment.

The following excerpt from Make Your Own Sandwich delves into the issue of street harassment:

“At some point in their lives — often starting at a very young age — 99 percent of women will experience street harassment. One in four will experience it before the age of 12. Some will endure it every day. Some will experience hateful and sexualized comments. Some will be threatened with violence. Some will be assaulted. Some will replay the incident in their head for years, wondering how they could’ve retaliated, what it was they’d done to deserve being the victim of such behavior…

Too often, women and LGBTQ persons are told street harassment should be taken as a compliment, that it’s just “boys being boys.” But street harassment is not a compliment — it is scary, threatening, and a human rights violation.

Men and women have competed for access to public spaces since the beginning of time. Now that women are no longer expected to stay at home tending to house and children, we’re seeing these power struggles being doled out on the streets. And consequently, it’s made plenty of women afraid.

When I told my mother about my first street harassment incident at age 11 — I was catcalled while walking my dog — she brushed it off, saying, “Oh, that’s always happened around here.” We’ve created a culture in which women are often told to take harassment as a compliment, and if we don’t like it, to watch what we wear, travel with a companion, or otherwise police our own behavior to avoid being targeted. And plenty of women and LGBTQ folk simply accept that they should “choose” to restrict their actions to avoid harm…

“It wasn’t until I started to get wind of the anti-street harassment movement — efforts fueled nonprofits like Stop Street Harassment and Hollaback! — that I learned this wasn’t just an isolated incident, but an issue happening on streets worldwide. As a volunteer for Stop Street Harassment, I learned how powerful it can feel to share these incidents with others to take the power back, whether that means standing at a demonstration with the comment scribbled on a sign or simply sending out a tweet. Just telling other people what happened can be an effective tool that affords the incident less strength over our consciousness and sense of self. It opens up others to the idea that this isn’t something we should tolerate, but should fight back against.”

I hope you’ll give my book a read, and hopefully come away not just with an understanding of the complex sociopolitical landscape of gender issues, but with a sense of empowerment to affect change. Make Your Own Sandwich is available for download here.

Excerpted from Make Your Own Sandwich. Copyright ©2013 by Julie Mastrine. Reprinted with permission from Thought Catalog.

Julie Mastrine is an activist, feminist, and writer working in the PR industry. She holds a B.A. in Public Relations from Penn State University, and is a social media volunteer for Stop Street Harassment. You can follow Julie on Twitter.

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Filed Under: Activist Interviews, Resources, Stories, street harassment

“Not something you should say to women.”

August 23, 2013 By Contributor

Yesterday as I was walking home, I stopped at a corner, and a man came up and said something to me. I had my earbuds in and I live in a big city where sometimes folks ask directions on my street, so I took them out and said, “Sorry?” He repeated what he’d said, which was, “Would you call the cops if I said you’re beautiful?” (UGHHHHH.) I used to just say, “Thanks,” or whatever to these comments but I was just in no mood.

I tried to be nice. I said, “No… But that’s probably not something you should be saying to women.”

IMMEDIATELY he launched into how “f***ed up” I am, and why couldn’t I just “take a compliment because you ARE beautiful”…  I just had to put my earbuds back in, turn it up, and keep walking.

How should I have responded? I don’t know if I handled it correctly, but I’m glad I let him know that it wasn’t welcome, and I walked the rest of the way home feeling anxious and angry. Major creep.

– Anonymous

Location: San Francisco, CA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“These guys are bullies”

August 21, 2013 By Contributor

So, I’m walking along 38th Street and a guy across on the other side of the street whistles at me as if he’s summoning a dog. You know, not the “va-va voom, baby” whistle (which is also offensive to me), but that quick “fwweeeee-eeeet!” that usually means “come here, dog”.

I immediately flipped him my middle finger and held it up high (and continued to hold it as I walked past), which I routinely do when confronted with any form of SH.

The guy then loudly sucks his teeth and yells back to me “No respect!”

A guy who just whistled at me LIKE I’M A DOG is now telling me I’M the one that’s being disrespectful. Oh, the irony!!

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

React immediately. Don’t just let it go. If it’s safe and there are people around/businesses open nearby, GO OFF! Yell, scream, curse them out, give ’em the business! Tell them their mother should have raised them better than that (that’s a good one – they get SO mad when I say that – I only do it if in well populated situations!). These guys are bullies and are not used to women standing up to them.

– Kala

Location: 38th St. and 9th Ave

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Harassed at the DMV

August 21, 2013 By Contributor

Today I was in line at the DMV and this guy stared at me for an hour! At first, I tried ignoring him, thinking maybe it was me. But after awhile, I realized he was staring at me. The guy behind me even noticed it!

After yelling at him to stop several times, I called the cops. They never came. I feel so angry and fed up. I don’t get why guys express their feelings this way. I just wish we could stop it or make men see that what they are doing is wrong.

– Anonymous

Location: Los Angeles, California

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Nothing stops the harassers from talking to me”

August 19, 2013 By Contributor

I face street harassment on a daily basis, whether it’s overt or just being looked at like a piece of meat. My friend never believed me because he is a man, until he went to visit me and I said, “Walk half a block behind me so that they don’t think we’re together.”

He lasted half a block before he caught up to me, stating that men were horrible.

I live in the Bronx, I haven’t had a date in 15 years nor tried to. I can’t afford to live anywhere nice, because the city is so unaffordable no single people can afford to live anywhere nice. I can’t afford to have cab fare to my home every time I would go out on a date, I have heard horror stories of the arguments my girlfriends get into with dates when they insist they want to take the subway and yes, they do it all the time, it’s safe “enough”. Which it generally is, late at night, ironically, it’s the stepping out on a date, or even to work looking like a woman, before the sun goes down, that is the major problem. I wore a dress exactly once in my neighborhood in broad daylight and I’d rather be shot than do it again.

You can’t get a yellow cab driver to go to my neighborhood, I’ve heard the same thing from women who live in Inwood, Kew Gardens, even Astoria. If they will acquiesce, they ask for directions. I don’t drive but have gleaned 2 sets of perfectly adequate directions by taking buses, I once had a willing cab driver shake his head to both sets of my directions. I’ve probably taken about a dozen cabs over the past 10 years and 65% of those cabdrivers have hit on me. One of them thought it was cute to keep repeatedly hitting the “lock” and “unlock” buttons on all the car doors after I’d refused to buy the book he was hawking and snubbed his “charming” conversation.

I’m already dressing in the most nondescript/dowdy business clothes I can get and eschewing all makeup 95% of the time, I could stand to lose 30 pounds, but nothing stops the harassers from talking to me – just the nice men. Approximately 2 human-seeming men speak to me on the streets of Manhattan per year (unfortunately most are tourists so no great dating potential). The rest, I fear, have learned the lesson we need the harassers to learn. They seem scared to look at me, and it’s to the point where I’m starting to develop a literal complex.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

1. Send the education to the outer boroughs. Men in Manhattan have, by and large, learned the lesson – too well.

2. Better training for cabdrivers. The amount of cabdrivers who haven’t learned they can’t refuse fares and shouldn’t be hitting on their passengers seems astounding.

3. Make street loitering a misdemeanor and arrest people. Don’t just give lip service to it, patrol and arrest them. (Considering that some days I wish I could shoot them, this is actually a good deal for the loiterers.) No one needs to live their lives on the street. Anything decent (conversation), you can get the same effect by inviting your friends to come and sit in your living room.

Because I don’t care about a Starbucks, or an art gallery, or an H&M, or a neighborhood bar, though all those things are nice. I’m not proud. I don’t care what my neighbors are doing inside their apartments as long as it doesn’t affect me. I can go to all those places in other neighborhoods – if I can bear the walk to get on the subway. Sweep the streets of the “hey babys”, and single women in the city would become a lot more adventuresome in their housing choices.

– Anonymous

Location: Bronx/New York City

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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