This just happened a few minutes ago. I was walking to the store to pick up some groceries. It’s exactly one block from my apartment. I live near Pike Place Market. I managed to make it exactly half a block when I made the mistake of looking both ways when near a busy-ish parking garage. A man, who I only got a glance at noticed me and started with the smile routine. When I ignored him he escalated saying things along the lines of me “wasting” my looks, that some day they’ll go away (as if my value as a human being is based solely on my appearance), and when I continued to ignore him started ranting about it to people passing by. I managed to go into the store without the creep following me. It took sooooo much effort not to lose my temper. I often feel that I have to wear headphones in order to be left alone, and sometimes that doesn’t work.

– H.M.

Location: Seattle, WA

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This afternoon, I was with the little 2-year-old I nanny for. I had pulled the stroller over to the side of the footpath and I was giving her some apple. We were on a nice street in a nice, posh neighbourhood. I saw in my side vision, a man walking towards me and past me but I didn’t look at him on purpose because he was shouting, “Hi bitch! Hi bitch!” over and over again.

When he had continued walking down the road, (still shouting it), I turned and he was walking backwards watching me and shouting. When I caught his eye and he saw I had looked at him, he gave me ‘the finger’ and kept shouting “hi bitch!”

He was shouting it so loudly that women started coming out of shops and buildings to see what was going on. Since I was really the only person there they asked me what was happening and I said, “Apparently he’s talking to me.”

He was still shouting it and staring at me and giving me the finger, and all the women said, “Oh, okay” and went back into their buildings.

I just walked away…

– Anonymous

Location: on a street in Paris, France

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I smile when I’m embarrassed. It’s like laughing when your tickled, it’s not *funny*, it’s just a reaction.

I was stopped at a stoplight, eating some fries from the drive through with the windows down, and a car of three men pulled up along side me. “Hey baby! Didya buy me some? Would you like me to buy you some more?”

The embarrassed smile shows up and my face burns. I don’t respond and face forward.

“C’mon baby, let’s go back for more!”

I feel like my smile is giving him permission to continue, and I can’t reach the passenger side crank to roll up the window (yeah, old school).

Longest red light ever. I was a block from the laundromat I was going to, and I felt the need to make sure my car wasn’t very visible from the main road, in case they decided to stop if they saw it.

I felt ashamed that all I did was smile and blush. I couldn’t help myself, but it seems like consent to them.

– Anonymous

Location: Appleton, WI

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I take dance classes near my apartment and frequently walk down a crowded street to get there. One day I was walking home after an especially intense class, clearly sweaty and out of breath with messy hair. I walked by a man who yelled loudly to his male friends, “OOOOH, WOW, look at Miss All-Natural coming our way.”

I ignored him and kept walking, trying to pass them quickly.

“..that’s a little too natural for me though!” the man added after I refused to respond. He and his friends laughed.

They took up the entire width of the sidewalk, so I had to walk through their group to get by. I walked with my head down. It was humiliating and HORRIFYING to know that people like this exist – people who think it’s okay to yell at a girl on the street, and then make fun of the way she looks when she refuses to respond.

What I look like shouldn’t matter, but I almost felt like how dressed down I was should have been a deterrent for awful guys like this. The incident made me feel like there is absolutely nothing I can do about street harassment. I felt weak and powerless.

– Anonymous

Location: Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles, CA

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Just a warning that I won’t censor what was said to me by the man who recently harassed me – I trust you understand that I’m including the specifics of what he said to convey the whole experience.

This past Saturday night I was walking with my boyfriend to a local restaurant/bar for a casual date. While crossing the street, a car coming from the other side of the inner-section slowed down to let us cross. As they started to approach us, however, the driver cat called at me. I immediately flicked him the bird, as I often do in these situations, but also noticed that he was a pretty large and muscular guy (he was driving a Jeep Wrangler with the doors off). Just as I thought they had passed behind us, he yelled back, “I’LL COME IN YOUR A**, B*TCH!” and drove off in the opposite direction of my boyfriend and me.

I have to admit, I was a little bit shaken by such an aggressive comment, but other people walking near-by had heard it and I didn’t want to seem like I would let someone as disgusting as that man bother me. My boyfriend asked me if I was ok and acknowledged that what had just happened was certainly not ok, but taking my cue, didn’t dwell on the incident. Even though I knew I wasn’t at fault and I had nothing to be ashamed of, I somehow still felt slightly embarrassed. I didn’t worry much about having flicked him off, as it was something I’d had to do several times before, and because he had driven off in a totally different direction.

A couple of blocks past that inner-section, on a street that wasn’t nearly as well lit and without any other pedestrians, however, we were confronted again. The driver and his passenger had looped back through the area and followed us. He slowed his car and yelled at me again: “What you wanna do with that finger, b*itch!?” In an attempt to stand my ground, I immediately chirped back “F*ck off!”, thinking he would continue driving. My boyfriend, a much more calm individual, was taking the scene in and thankfully on much higher alert. Just as I told the guy to f-off, he stopped his car, only a few yards in front of us, got out, and started to approach us. We were alone on a dark stretch of the street, with nobody else around, and in slight disbelief that he had come back around to confront us.

We immediately turned around and began quickly walking/running in the other direction and into the closest bar/restaurant/anywhere with other people, that we could find. It was a really frightening experience that left me angrier and more frustrated with street harassment than I had ever been before.

I don’t know what would have happened if I had been alone, and I don’t even want to think about it. It was scary to see how intent this man was on showing his power, his dominance, his strength over me and my boyfriend, by threatening me/us with rape and violence. It’s infuriating to feel like I couldn’t even stand up for myself. Would he have left us alone if I hadn’t acknowledged his cat call in the first place?

Nobody should have to remain silent and endure harassment for fear of further verbal or physical attacks.

– MT

Location: Canton, Baltimore, MD

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