Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“It brought up abuses that I have experienced in the past”

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Yesterday I was leaving work. I was in a really great mood because my birthday is coming up in just a few days, and my husband and I had planned a weekend getaway, plus, my office had just had our monthly birthday treats/get together for all the birthdays this month. I was floating!

When I leave work, I literally just cross the street then walk up a ramp (about 30-40 feet in length) to get to the bus stop. It is important to note that it is separated from the pedestrian sidewalk by a bike lane, and there is a fence between the bike lane and the bus stop.

Just as I reached the other side of the street and was about to head up the ramp, a street performer who was apparently taking a break yelled at me, “Hey! Hey! I know you know where I can get some…, ” and before he completed his sentence I looked around to see to whom he was speaking. He said to me, “Yeah, you! I’m talking to you! Come here!”

His voice was belittling and demanding. I gave him the, “You’re crazy” side-eye, and continued to walk up the ramp. He yelled after me a few more times, which I ignored, and made it to the ramp hoping my bus would be there soon. The next thing I knew he was standing behind me in the bike lane behind the bus stop. I heard him say, ” What, do I have ‘jerk’ written across my face or something?” I resisted saying yes, and told him I was trying to get to the bus stop. He told me he “just wants to talk to me” and continued to try to get my attention (at this point I’m just looking for my bus).

Finally after another “just want to talk to you” comment, I turned to him and very loudly said, “I don’t want to talk to you!”

Thankfully he walked away at that point. I do not know, nor do I care, what he thought he “knew” I could get. He could have been asking for a recommendation to a good Thai food place for all I care (he wasn’t). His manner and aggression made me fearful. It stole my joy. It brought up abuses that I have experienced in the past, making them weigh on me all over again. I’m concerned he will be back today, although I’ve worked here for months and can’t say I’ve seen him before. Each time this happens, where the harasser has been particularly aggressive, it takes time for me to move on from it. Old wounds are opened. I want to take that power back from them!

– Sarah

Location: Austin, TX

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“I feel paranoid and exploited”

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I’m 17 and I was going to yoga class yesterday in union square. I had my mat and yoga pants on. I heard this guy behind my go, “Nice yoga pants baby,” and “They show off that hot bubble butt,” and “I love to watch that jiggle.”

So I started walking really fast but hit a busy intersection. That’s when he came up right next to me and said, “I want to see you shake that pretty little ass baby! When was the last time you got laid? I would do you so hard baby.”

The light changed and I basically ran away. So like two blocks later I thought I lost him. Most harassers I have encountered typically go away when I run. But not him. I heard, “Mmm baby shake that ass” and “I know you want that c*ck” and “Shake it for me you little slut.”

Then he comes passing by my left side and I see he is filming me with his iPhone. I said, “What the f*ck are you doing?”

He put down the phone and said. “Mmmm I’m gonna jerk off to this later,” and he ran around the corner and kept going.

I live in NYC and have been harassed since I was 11 but this was the worst. Is this guy going to post me on some pervert website?

I was so angry sick and scared that I skipped my class and went home to my room. How dare this guy who was like 45 do this to me. Why did he do it? I just don’t understand it. Now I’m scared that I am going to be on a teen candid website with this guy saying filthy things to me and the worst is that he was pointing the camera at my face too. It now even has me looking at these sick sites to see if I am out there somewhere. I feel paranoid and exploited. I did nothing to bring this on and I have no one that I even want to talk to about it.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

More police that are aware of guys like this

– Lilly

Location: Astor Place, NYC

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“I got my eye on the Asian right there”

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I was waiting at the bus stop this morning, when I heard three men cross the street and one of them saying loudly, “I got my eye on the Asian right there (referring to me)”.

I stood my ground and pretended not to hear. When they got closer, the one who spoke out loud sat down on the bench behind me and starting saying “hi” and “hello” to me. I continued to ignore them. Then the man said, “What is it with you Asian women?” and “Look like she got some shrimp fried rice in her bag”.

At this point my heart was beating and I was thinking about how I should react. I decided to stay quiet because I didn’t know if me responding could escalate the situation. The guy then said, “I’m going to dump that food all over your boobs.”

Luckily, the bus pulled up then, and the group of guys walked away and I got on my bus.

– YW

Location: S9 bus stop in Silver Spring, Maryland

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“Is that all I’m worth?”

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As a runner, I cannot even begin to count the number of times that I have been cat-called, shouted at, or otherwise bothered while training. And it doesn’t matter what I’m wearing – I’ve been shouted at while wearing a sports bra in the summer and while wearing piles of warm clothes in the winter. Regardless of the context, each and every call diminishes the sense of empowerment I get from running … is that all I’m worth?

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Step one is is to stop normalizing this behavior.

– AB

Location: Country roads

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“They said maybe I should just do the world a favour and kill myself”

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Trigger Warning – Suicidal thoughts

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ‘1-800-273-TALK (8255)’: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

I’ve been getting made fun of since I was 12 years old for my looks. I am now 31. I am very well aware that I am an ugly woman. Yet it seems maybe people seem to think I don’t know this. Why else do they need to keep reminding me of it?

I am someone who just keeps to myself. I am too nervous to get close to someone. Anyone I’ve been close to in the past always talked about how ugly I am to my face and behind my back. My own family has also always called me ugly. My mom has always been angry that I ended up looking more like my dad. They had a bad marriage. My sister often throws it in my face that I am ugly if we fight. So why get close to people if no one is willing to get past how hideously ugly my face is?

I’ve never had a boyfriend either, but I’ve never seen the point in trying. I am so ugly and any guy I’ve ever liked would probably hate me. Once when I did admit to it; the guy laughed in my face. He was a friend of mine and then he hated me for it. He was upset that someone as ugly as me would dare think I had a chance with him.

So I spend all my time on my own. Despite all of that, I’ve tried living my life as I should. I have a good job, I make good money, I have cats I love, I just bought my first house. Everything I have in my life, I’ve done all on my own. I’ve never asked for help. What’s the point? No one would probably want to help someone so ugly anyway.

I don’t bug anyone. I keep quiet but I love walking and hiking. I love exercise. I love being outside. I love summer. So today as usual, I went for one of my long walks. I was crossing the cross walk when I had the right of way and a car full of guys drove through and almost hit me.

They called me an ugly bitch as they went.

I managed to get across the road and they were in the parking lot at the Wendy’s. The guys came over to me and told me they’d be doing the world a favour if they hit me. No one would have to see my ugly face anymore. They said maybe I should just do the world a favour and kill myself. They said I am nothing but a pathetic loser who is a waste of skin.

I actually found this site to see how common this stuff is. It happens to me a lot, but I wanted to see if I could find people to relate to. I just don’t get why people have to be so mean to me.

Like I said, I don’t bug people. I keep to myself. I don’t force myself on anyone. I try to hide my face behind my hair. I do everything I can not to draw attention to myself but attention always finds me no matter what. I hate myself and I wish I could kill myself. I am still alive because despite the way my mom and sister have treated me, I don’t want to hurt them. I also have my two cats who I love and who need me to stay for them.

So every time an incident like this happens, I think of my family and my cats. However, I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. I should be able to walk down the street.

I’ve always been nothing but a good person. Sometimes I think maybe I was a bad person in my past life and so maybe I am being punished. Maybe I do deserve to be treated this way. Maybe I am actually a bad person. I think I am a good person but since it’s me, maybe I am being biased about myself. Maybe I am actually a horrible person and so my face makes up for my personality since I am the most hideous looking person. All I ever feel is contaminated for having an ugly face.

– Ashley

Location: Wendy’s in London, Ontario, Canada

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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