I was walking home one night and there is this street where there is a broken street light. Unfortunately there were also a bunch of people (mostly men) who were partying and taking up the whole block & street by blocking it with their cars. It was so annoying. All i wanted to do was go home. I had a sudden urge to just run home. Because if i walked then one or all of the men would try to literally stop me and try to grab me and/or try to talk to me.

So I took a chance and ran like hell. One car actually tried to back up and get in my way. I could here one of the men yell, “Where you runnin? Stop running I wanna talk to you! It’s like that?”

This pissed me off so much because it was in my own neighborhood. I am always scared and pissed off because I don’t want to get hurt over some dumb shit like getting assaulted because I didn’t give my phone number to a stranger. It’s situations like that that make me loath being around people. Luckily, I made it home. But it was another reason why I hate my neighborhood and leaving/going home.

– Anonymous

Location: Oakland, CA

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To me, street harassment isn’t a joke and it is a very big deal. In fact, it changed my life in the most horrible of ways.

It began when I was 11 and entering middle school. A boy in my neighborhood liked me. I didn’t like him back, which made him mad. To get back at me, he told the whole school that I, at 11 years old, had sex with him over the summer. This gradually evolved into a rumor that we had sex multiple times. Another boy claimed not only that he also had sex with me over the summer, but he also got me pregnant. He told everyone, “She had an abortion because she didn’t take responsibility for her actions.”

For six months several boys would go out of their way to harass me on my way home from the bus stop. “Show us your tits!” one would say. When I would say, “No,” and, “Leave me alone,” it made it worse. They’d say to each other, “She won’t do it because she stuffs her bra.” I was then harassed every day for stuffing my bra. Eventually, I was worn down. When they trapped me in an alley, I was so ashamed that I just wanted to go home, so I flashed them. I would then go into school and be called a slut.

It was so bad that I was harassed into my first kiss and every sexual experience thereafter, including fellatio and sex. They continued to turn around and blame me. Others would trap me and say, “You did x with y, so you really don’t have a reason not to do it with me.”

At one point, I was harassed into not fighting back when a boy groped my breast. I was twelve. In a note to a friend I did the most I could to control the damage. I said that I eventually said yes. Nothing was more humiliating than the harassment I would face if I said it wasn’t my choice. My friend’s mom found the note and turned it into the principal. I was suspended for 3 days– longer than the boys who assaulted me. The school’s justification was that if I really didn’t want it to happen I would have done something about it, such as hitting them. The only problem was, had I hit them, I also would have been suspended because of a zero tolerance policy.

I could go on and on. I want to be clear: sexual harassment, including that at work, in schools, or on the street negatively effects the self esteem of those subjected to it. It ruined my self-esteem, made me think it was my fault when I was raped, and has caused me to suffer PTSD to this day.

I wish I could say this happened a long time ago. I was harassed daily from 1997-2004.

I also wish I could say this no longer happens in our schools, but that would be a lie. Ultimately, as a teacher from 2008-2011, I watched my female students be harassed every day. Despite my best efforts to report the harassment and associated bullying I was repeatedly told my my administration that “boys will be boys” and I was being “overly sensitive.”

Don’t fool yourself. Nothing has changed.

– AS

Location: Bristol Township, PA

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One evening I was walking over to a friend’s house who lives about 10 minutes from my house. It was winter so although it was only 7 pm it was rather dark. I stuck to the main street but ended up passing about three men in their early twenties. They were all climbing into a truck when they saw me walking by. They began to shout at me, saying things like, “You’re hot!” and, “You should come hang out with us!” One of them began to approach me and I began to walk faster. As soon as I turned the corner he stopped following me. The whole thing was rather terrifying but infuriating at the same time because I have the right to feel safe in my own neighbourhood.

– Anonymous

Location: Prince Rupert, BC, Canada

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This is in response to the “Stop Seeking Male Attention” post on the Stop Street Harassment website. The entire article makes a great deal of sense to me, and I agree with it. But the last line really stood out for me because I did use the phrase mentioned against a harasser way before this post, and yes, got a STRONG reaction to it!

I think it’s great that this concept of not seeking male attention is being aired and brought to the light. It’s a shame that all females are taught to seek this type of validation from such a young age, but hey, at least now we’re challenging that training. Life without the constant interruption of the male gaze/and or comment can be pretty peaceful. I get to experience this peace only when I visit places that are less urban/metropolitan and that are more about nature and enjoying the land than interacting with people.

That phrase “I don’t exist for you”? It tickles me to see that printed in the above referenced article because it is EXACTLY what I said to a really aggressive harasser trying to demand my attention at a bus stop recently. I had already responded to his initial leering (he started the nasty “evaluation staring” from way down the block as he approached) and comments about me to his buddies with my patented, “I will kill u, you a**hole” look and also told him to leave me the hell alone.

When I said “I don’t exist for you! Keep walking!” he got livid! He didn’t know how to respond but was mad as hell! He and his buds did walk away (after standing there staring stupidly for a few more seconds), but when the bus came he was back and defiantly trying to look through the bus window to see me and show me that he was going to assert his right to “own me visually” regardless of what I said. I guess it took a few minutes for him to figure out what “I don’t exist for you” really meant. Once he did, he came back and really tried to fight my assertion, even if he had to do it in the silliest way. He looked absolutely ridiculous craning his neck from the sidewalk trying to see where I sat on the bus to try to still harass me. Crazy!

But, yes, “I don’t exist for you” is powerful. Many men don’t even begin to have that thought in any corner of their brain. It goes against everything they’ve been taught in regards to women. I will say it constantly now! 😉

– Yvonne

Location: 60th St and 5th Ave, Manhattan, NY

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This man was masturbating on the M train last night. I told the police and filed a report.  Also sent the pic to NY1 News.  People need to be aware of this pervert.

– BL

Location: M Train, New York City, USA

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