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“You changed your mind about the bus? I was coming back for you!”

March 19, 2012 By Contributor

“Standing at the bus stop in the middle of 51st st, i must really look like the rose that grew from concrete. Ninjas in cars ninjas on corners say things meant to pass for compliments. I wonder would they know what to do with a garden or would they snatch and pluck the petals cuz they aint had nuthin nice before.”

That was my Facebook status last Saturday. I wasn’t wearing anything low cut, tight fitting, “inviting”, nor was I naked, but somehow I ended up feeling totally exposed.

I’m not the thickest crayon in the box or the most gorgeous of them all mirror on the wall, but sometimes–like when I’m standing at the bus stop with men yelling and honking from their cars, or watching me from across street corners and the bus conveniently decides to run beyond behind schedule–I wish I was a little more unpretty.

The other day, I asked a friend of mine for a ride because I was wearing make up that day and told him that it wasn’t a good idea for me to be on public transportation and traveling on foot around my neighborhood looking too cute. I think he may have thought I was joking, but I was serious.

I have no problem with compliments, or even a SHORT lustful glance, but with some men it doesn’t stop there. Some will circle the block…walk with (err, follow?) you…stand with you…invade your personal space while engaging in unwarranted conversation.

I remember being a little girl and ignoring the cat calls while I was walking to the store or out playing. It only takes so many times of hearing, “Well f**k you then!” or “B***h!” before you figure out that maybe ignoring the problem won’t make it go away. I learned to speak and be friendly (because God forbid my lack of acknowledgment be misconstrued as an overall dismissal of the BLACK MAN and I am the ANGRY BLACK WOMAN, oh no).

But even in speaking, extending that common courtesy of speaking when spoken to is sometimes interpreted as an invitation. I just want to get on the bus, man. I just want to get where I’m going and look how I look. And I want that to be okay. Even dressing “down” isn’t enough. I’d have to dress down to looking like a crackhead, I suppose.

Walking these streets, I think a lot about little girls. I think about little girls with grown women bodies who are getting the same attention I get when I’m at the bus stop. Those thoughts scare me. Our little girls just want to get to school. Or to their Granny’s house.They just want to get where they’re going and look how they look. And they want that to be okay. I want that for them.

When I saw a bus coming in the opposite direction, I ran across the street to catch it. Figured it’d be better to go out of my way and ride it all the way back around than stand on that corner waiting for it to circle back. Before I got on, a dude yelled out, “You changed your mind about the bus? I was coming back for you!”

When the bus circled back, he was standing at the bus stop where I had been.

Originally published on ChicagoNow.com in my blog, My So-Called Writer’s Life.

– Sandria Washington

Location: Chicago, IL, South Side bus stop in 2011

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, Stories, street harassment

Street harassment and the dehumanization of sex workers

March 19, 2012 By Contributor

Editor’s Note: This guest blog post is written by Jessie Nicole, the current director of Sex Workers Outreach Project – Los Angeles, a nonprofit dedicated to ending violence and stigma against everyone in the sex industry and a co-sponsor of International Anti-Street Harassment Week. She earned her BA in English Literature from Florida State University and her MA in Humanities, focusing on the literature of Social Justice, from the University of Chicago. She lives in Los Angeles with her partner and their turtle, Walter.

Though I’ve experienced street harassment periodically since the time I hit puberty, one of my most memorable incidents occurred in 2009, the summer after I finished my MA. I had a cold, and was waiting in line at the bank with unkempt hair and snot dripping from my nose. An older man behind me started making small talk about the muggy Chicago weather, and despite my obvious refusal to engage in conversation, then suggested that he could increase the zeroes on my deposit slip if we came to a sort of “arrangement”. His tone and expression left little doubt what kind of arrangement he was referring to.

What this man had no way of knowing was that I was working as a full time escort at the time of that encounter. I bitterly wondered if I had a neon “whore” sign above my forehead only visible to the rest of the world. Though I was working in the sex industry at the time, this was not a professional situation. In retrospect, I can’t help but wonder how he would have reacted had I brazenly informed him of my rates. But I was ill and therefore taking time off work. This was not a consensual negotiation, nor a conversation I had entered willingly. And that is what made it harassment. I did not consent to engage in any sort of sexual negotiation.

Consent does not fluctuate depending on what someone does for a living (or is wearing, or has said previously, or chooses sexually). Whether or not someone works in the sex industry has no bearing on their ability to consent to sexual attention. While this incident in the bank was relatively minor, it is representative of a larger assumption about the accessibility of bodies, particularly sex workers’ bodies. There is a difference between consensual sex work and sexual assault, and it should not be difficult to distinguish between them. Jill Brennerman’s account of her experience as a sex worker and rape victim explicitly shows the line between a consensual sexual transaction and rape (trigger warning : graphic description of sexual assault).

The myth that sex workers cannot be sexually harassed or assaulted is rooted in the misperception that sex workers are not fully rounded people, but rather defined solely by the industry they work in. And that perception has very real and dangerous consequences. Alana Evans, when speaking about her experience with the LAPD as a rape victim, tells how she was dismissed based on her occupation.  A quick scan of the comments on the video shows that this seems to be a common perception. Because she is a sex worker, she is somehow “unrapeable.”

The dehumanization of sex workers only intensifies for people of color, those participating in outdoor sex work, and trans* or queer folk. This violence and harassment is not only socially sanctioned, but institutional. A 2006 survey conducted by a DC outreach organization that focuses on outdoor sex workers revealed that “90 percent of 149 respondents had experienced violence… and almost half said that they had been treated badly when they had sought help from somewhere (not just from police.)” While the jump from street harassment to violence against sex workers may seem extreme, the commonality of violence against sex workers should illustrate how for our community, street harassment is deeply threatening.

I should not have contemplated what I had done for a man I had never met to proposition me at the bank. It shouldn’t matter to this story that I was obviously sick and wearing sweat pants and an old t-shirt. No one should have to expect to experience sexual harassment in public as I and many others do. Sometimes it is less scary than others. Sometimes I am angrier than others. But being a sex worker has given me an entirely new perspective. I’m frequently told that I have no right to that fear or anger in response to harassment. I have nothing but rage and contempt for the underlying system that labels some bodies as having more value, and the bodies of sex workers as public domain.

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week Tagged With: street harassment, SWOP-LA

The stories behind the art work from Trinidad and Tobago

March 18, 2012 By Contributor

Editor’s Note: Today in Washington, DC, I’m co-curating an art exhibit on street harassment for International Anti-Street Harassment Week with the Deaf Abused Women’s Network. There are 35 pieces, including art work by high school students and from activists as far away as Yemen and Afghanistan. Tracey Chan and Stephanie Leitch each submitted work electronically for the exhibit. They guest wrote this post about their submissions.

My name is Tracey Chan and I’m a Trinidadian interdisciplinary visual artist and writer whose disciplines include drawing, illustration, and installation. I’m also involved in graphic design and art event management.

In 2011, I created an illustration as part of Simona Lee’s WomenSpeak project. I created an updated version called “Eyes” for this exhibition, which examines the daily challenges women face on the street and the negative feelings that arise with harassment incidents. It also represents my feelings of insecurity, and a stigma attached to simply walking around my own neighbourhood.

My latest project, with my art collective is an all women’s exhibition, Women Make Art: Home & Away (WOMA). WOMA 2011 celebrated International Women’s Day and was the first women’s art exhibition in Grenada. The current show, now in its second year, opens on 31st March in St. George’s, Grenada.

My name is Stephanie Leitch and I’m a social activist and conceptual artist. My work focuses on issues of gender equality both through performance and organizing. My 2011 International Women’s Day event evolved into an ongoing space for Caribbean feminist voices, WoMantra and the place where the collaboration for this project was hatched.

“Even though I got word of this project only two or three days before the deadline, it hit way too close to home for me to ignore. I have been dealing with public harassment since I was 12 years old and still in my primary school uniform. I remember a friend telling me once that she would no longer walk in the street with me because of how much attention I would get all the time. This is not a point of pride or ego booster but a sick social practice that I have had to endure for more than half my life. It has affected me deeply in many ways, from valuing it in earlier years to despising it and as a response changing aspects of my aesthetic to detract male attention. Some of these methods have stayed with me, most noticeably my decision to never wear my hair down.”

The collaborative series was created when Stephanie requested help to put several of her ideas and tags into visual format for the exhibition. Tracey then designed an image using one tag, “Encourage Women to Speak Out,” using bright colours and minimalist design to attract attention with the simple, powerful message. We will develop a series of posters from the remaining tags that may be used in future events or projects.

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week

“I like the way you walk”

March 17, 2012 By Contributor

I was 14, and at the movie theater with my friends to see School of Rock for the third time that summer. Passing the concession stand I heard someone going, “Hey! hey!” toward me, and I turned to see a tall, slender man with a mole on his face and realized he was talking to me. When he had my attention he said, “I like the way you walk” in a really suggestive manner. Unfortunately he was the only one working so I was stuck buying from him. I vaguely remember him winking at one point.

Did I mention I was fourteen frickin years old? He wasn’t my age, I’m not even sure he was a young man, he seemed like he was in his 30s or 40s. I was extremely creeped out. I should have complained.

– Anonymous

Location: Dedham, MA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“The gaze of the man still haunts me”

March 16, 2012 By Contributor

This happened to me recently. Memories of that episode still covers me with chills and shivers when I think of it.

It was the night of Holi, I was at a friend’s for a party. I ended up staying in late, and it got nearly 8.30 P.M. when I finally walked out. As I walked, I found the roads and streets were mostly deserted except for a few buses and private vehicles rushing ahead. I started walking towards the bridge auto-stand, only to find it empty. No sign of any auto around. I got worried because it was getting late, and mom would get mad at me for staying out so late on a holiday night.

I started walking ahead, when I noticed a man standing a few feet away, smoking . I thought nothing of it. As I went closer, he turned around and looked at me. There was something in his eye that disconcerted me. When I was beside him, he leaned in and took a “closer look.” I was a trifle weird-ed out, but kept walking anyway. I’d just gone a few steps when I realized he was following me. I ignored it and increased my speed. At a point he stopped a few steps behind me. I was getting creeped out for some reason. I hurried to a corner of the street where I saw three-four people waiting for the bus. I decided to take a bus and get the hell out of there, instead of waiting for an auto. A little later, a bus turned up. As I went near it, the man appeared beside me, as if magically. As I waited for some of the people to get out of the crowded bus, I noticed him staring at me. It was a fixed, cold, stare. I can’t describe it…it almost seemed he was putting me under a X-ray.

I got up the bus, and prayed for it to drive away soon. People were still coming in, but the man stood right there, his gaze fixated on me. I was feeling chills by this time. Finally, the bus took off. Then, something happened which made my heart skip a beat. After the people had all finished climbing aboard and there was absolutely NO SPACE left on the bus, the moment it started moving, that man, took catch of a handle and CALMLY latched onto the bus. I was startled. I was certain that he had boarded it for me. I could tell from the way he STILL kept gazing at me with that cold, conspiratorial look. The bus stopped at two places on the way, that man got off at both stops, and climbed back in when it started moving. It seemed…not right.

I was perspiring by this time. I prayed silently that the stop where I’d be getting off not be deserted. Please…I fervently started asking some of the people on bus if they’d be getting off at my Stop. Then my stop came, and I was SUPER-RELIEVED to see it was still lighted with few people around. I got down, and, without glancing behind, walked straight to the Rickshaw stand. I almost jumped on a rickshaw, mentioned my Housing Society, and asked the puller to drive away FAST. Through the corner of my eye, I could see the man standing a few feet away, still staring at me and muttering something. I knew he couldn’t follow me anymore.

I was still shivering and my teeth borderline chattering, by the time I reached home. The gaze of the man still haunts me. Ouch. From that day on, I’ve vowed to steer clear of staying out late on Public Holidays.

– Ananya

Location: Kolkata, India

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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