Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Street Respect: Sandwiches in Los Angeles

By

This is part of the Monday series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.

My husband and I were out running with our dog in our neighborhood. We decided to grab some sandwiches on our way back home. Of course I was dressed in tight running pants and a bit flush from our workout. I was outside the shop alone with our dog when a group of 6 or so men came out of a store and started walking down the sidewalk in my direction. I immediately got nervous when they started to look at me, I was totally a target for some sort of comment. But I was totally surprised as they walked by. Some smiled and nodded politely and one guy engaged me in a pleasant conversation about my dog’s breed and how he had had a similar dog as a kid. He then told me to have a nice day and the group walked off.

Moments later we were walking back and passed this same group of guys, hanging out by a car, on one of our neighborhood streets. They just waved politely. It certainly made me feel very good!

– Tanya

Location: Olympic and Vermont, Los Angeles, CA

 

Share

“I am more than something to be leered at”

By

I was in a pub with work mates waiting for my boyfriend to arrive. I had to stand by the door of the pub to get signal for my phone. There were two men sitting across from me; one who was blatantly staring right at me. I get very angry when this happens as I feel I am more than something to be leered at and I aggressively asked the man what he was staring at. He then shook his head and turned away from me. I was still left angry and upset, however, and wished I didn’t have to display such aggressive behaviour to defend my right to be left in peace.

It is not uncommon for me to experience street harassment nearly every time I go out. Unfortunately, it appears my aggression towards it is the only working remedy as the harassment can happen in a fleeting moment and I have no time to probe these men as to why they feel it is acceptable to treat me like a piece of walking meat.

– FP

Location: Edinburgh, Scotland

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

Share

Graveyard maintenance workers harass 15-year-old in New Zealand

By

I was about 15 (I probably looked WAY younger because I’m quite small) and waiting for my mum to pick me up near a graveyard in a rural area.

A bunch of guys in their 20’s-30’s showed up to do maintenance on the gravesides. I decided to leave and as I did they began yelling sexual things at me. I kept walking but as I did one of them tried to follow me down the road. I was TERRIFIED because this was a van full of guys and I was in the middle of nowhere. I was angry scared and in tears. For all they knew I could have been visiting the grave site of a loved one.

– Anonymous

Location: Walliceville Hill, Upper Hutt, Wellington New Zealand

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

Share

Men of DC: Stop Harassing Women

By

Cross-posted with permission from The 42.

Men of DC: get it together. Street harassment is really out of control here. It happens everyday all day and every night all night. Women endure catcalls, unwanted touching, name calling, assault and worse as a matter of fact. Come on, we’re better than that!

I witness street harassment A LOT. Not just in Mount Pleasant or Columbia Heights; all over DC, in all neighborhoods. Harassment truly knows no race, age, class or scene bounds. I’ve seen women in mini-dresses harassed on U Street at midnight by guys in cars and women in baggy sweatpants harassed on the way to class at 8 in the morning by other students. Harassment is more about power than circumstance. Not that circumstance is meaningless, but some men will harass women (and girls) at any opportunity because they think they’re entitled. Everyone’s definition is different, but in my opinion flirting and “complementing” are DOA excuses. Harassment is not flirting.

I’ve been trying something new, speaking up when I see it. Once, on a bus, it got a little iffy + too close for comfort. But since I’ve been cursed out before by people I actually care about, it’s no big deal getting the same treatment from some rando dude on the 54 bus. Of course this can get tricky because the offenders can get really defensive or loud & aggressive, but really, they have to be called out by other guys for this to work. Here are some strategies for bystanders I probably should have looked up before hand. I like those ideas, but part of me thinks they need to be told why you are intervening, if indeed that’s the track you decide to walk on.

Often the harassment I see is not on the street; it happens in the club: on the dance floor. Club harassment is arguably worse. You see it all the time in almost every club; over-aggressive dudes taking one too many liberties on the dance floor. It can get pretty gross.

Dancing “up on” a woman you don’t know from behind (or the front for that matter) is wrong. Some people like to grind (royalty paid to eric nies) at the club, but it should be a mutually agreed upon consensual grind. No, in this case it is not better to have to beg for forgiveness. Ask permission. Before.

Also, news flash: many people like to go to dance clubs to dance with themselves. Not you or me.

Even though no physical contact is involved, leering can be another issue. No one likes to be stared at. And less than no one likes to be sized up by drunk guy at close range. People do go clubbing to see and be seen. But not club-stalked. There is a difference. Along the same lines, if you’re trying to talk to a woman, maybe dance with her, just ask. If she says no, PEACE OUT. As in move on dot org. Leave her alone.

What I saw a lot of last weekend –which mostly inspired this post– was unnecessary touching. Crowded dance floor, you’re trying to get across to the bar, and yeah, you have to clear a path for yourself. Squeezing past flailing, dancing bodies isn’t easy. But there is absolutely no need to caress anyone’s backside on the way to the bathroom, especially a perfect stranger. It’s just gross. And it’s assault. Bouncers are often not around or lacking in enthusiasm to regulate these activities. (Some clubs do a better job at this than others.)

Look, duding out every now and then is fine. A good bro down can be therapeutic. Go watch the game, ice some other bros, play fantasy football, pre-order the new Call of Duty; whatever. But bros being bros on the dance floor is lame if it involves trying to grind on every other woman in sight because you erroneously think they like it. They don’t like it, I don’t like it, nobody likes it.

This week Stop Street Harassment is asking people to log instances of street harassment, if you see or experience it. And Holla Back DC and it’s contributors have been logging harassment daily for over two years. Be a part of the solution guys. This one is on us.
– Tim.
Share

bell hooks: The Importance of Male Allies

By

bell hooks’ Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center includes a great chapter about the role of men in feminism. hooks argues that feminism needs to become more inclusive by integrating people from its margins (i.e. men and women of color) into the center. It is only this way that feminism will become the mass-based political movement it needs to be to create real change. This has important implications for male allies working in feminism today.

The chapter describes men as potential “comrades in struggle” and gives several reasons for the “exclusion” of men during the Second Wave.  There are two main forces working against male participation: socialized misogyny and the view of all men as anti-women. Mostly she takes aim at the radical feminists for their separatist rhetoric and fallacious thinking that all men are “the enemy.” In an oppressor—oppressed relationship it would seem that this would be somewhat valid. But turning feminism into an exclusive zone had the consequence of removing men from the struggle. It came to be seen as a “women’s issue” and not a broader human rights issue.*

hooks argues that this separatism did not pose a threat to the existing power structure. They don’t have to be afraid of the movement engaging people in the wider culture. If feminism means withdrawing from society through exclusion, the status quo will remain unchanged. This is no way to create meaningful change.

As these news articles mention, having women-only forms of public transportation is just a band-aid approach. It doesn’t address the root of the problem and is based on the following false assumption. Social norms like street harassment are irrevocable and withdrawal is the only solution to a society that cannot be changed. More male allies working to right these wrongs will be a ringing refutation of this assumption.

– Sean Crosbie

This post is part of the weekly blog series by male allies. We need men involved in the work to end the social acceptability of street harassment and to stop the practice, period. If you’d like to contribute to this weekly series, please contact me.

 

Share