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“It was scary and nerve-racking”

April 23, 2017 By Contributor

It was April 22, 2017, and I was walking by myself to meet up with my cousin. I happened to be on the phone with my best friend. Street harassment isn’t foreign to me, it had happened plenty of times, but this time it was weird. I was still walking and this guy blew me a kiss from across the street. When that happened, I just kept it moving but then it got weirder. As I was walking, he pulled his car to the side I was walking on and then he stopped his car and kept saying, “Give me your number and I will drop you off to your destination” and “You have a nice body.”

It was scary and nerve-racking.

– Anonymous

Location: Philadelphia, PA

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“A man passing by touched me at inappropriate places”

April 20, 2017 By Contributor

I was jogging with my friend on a less busy road as it was holiday season. A man passing by touched me at inappropriate places. I was very angry and was swearing but couldn’t move to stop him. Now I wish I could have been more alert and perhaps tried to stop him or something. I feel angry over the fact that I didn’t do enough to get him punished.

– Anonymous

Location: Botswana

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“I’m now too scared to wear what I want to wear and go where I want to go”

April 19, 2017 By Contributor

I have retyped my answer multiple times because I don’t quite know how to write it or if I should even submit this but, I need to share my story.

I was just catcalled which is certainly nothing foreign to me, although this time it was different. The harasser followed me and was objectifying me as I walked in circles, trying to not identify where my house was. He followed me into my alley, where he repeatedly asked for my number and complimented me how I had a “fine ass”.

I’ve been replaying the new incident from approximately 30 minutes ago in my head and I just can’t utter any words to my friends or family because I am too distraught. And you may be thinking, “What’s the big deal?”or “I know it’s wrong but I feel as though she’s overreacting.”

Trust me, I ignorantly thought that, too. But you never truly know what it feels like until you’re in that moment, and as hard as you may try, I don’t think that you can ever prepare yourself for it. Because in that moment, there are so many emotions of embarrassment, anger, shame and the biggest one being fear. When a tall, strong man approaches you, you feel defenseless and don’t know the appropriate response. I’ve been watching videos and reading articles on street harassment and I have never grotesquely related to a topic more than this one today. Yes, grotesquely.

It is disgusting how a man feels as though its his right to objectify me and it’s his write to express his opinion on how he owns my body. He was commenting, “Why are you so mean? I’m just being nice!” Just being nice.

Tell me, is it nice to be in such fear of your life that your body freezes up. Tell me, is what you did so nice that I felt the need to share my story. Tell me, is it so nice to cause me so much misery, which I know very well you intended to do.Well congratulations, you’ve won. I’m now too scared to wear what I want to wear and go where I want to go all for fear of my life.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think that this situation was almost unavoidable as there was no one around. I know that he knew what he was doing was wrong. I know that if he saw no issue with his commentary, he would have harassed me on the bus instead of waiting. I know this was not his first attack, and I know I won’t be his last.

– M.S.

Location: Chicago, IL. He was on my bus and I noticed him staring at me but I didn’t do anything because to be honest, that happens often. He got off at the same stop and started to follow me. I didn’t turn around because I didn’t want to engage but as I was in the alley and nearing my house he said hello, and that’s where the harassment began.

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“You’ve got nice legs but your nose is too big”

April 14, 2017 By Contributor

I was 12 years old. I was walking along a busy street with my mother. A man leaned out of a car and shouted, “You’ve got nice legs but your nose is too big”. It made me feel scared and ashamed, and suddenly conscious of my appearance.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Educate everyone about equality, and how harassment affects people. Make misogyny a hate crime.

– Anonymous

Location: London, UK

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: 12 years, young age

Microaggressions, Major Impacts

April 11, 2017 By Contributor

Guest blog post by Lindsay Linning

To write is the only form of catharsis I can find. Because as a coping mechanism, often all I can do in the moment is mentally file away the harasser, the location, the feeling, into the annexes of my mind, to ferment nicely until the time comes when I take to my keyboard to document and immortalise the incident. It is my small victory, using the fury it invokes to fuel a creative pursuit like writing.

In doing the research for my dissertation on males’ perceptions of street harassment in the UK, I have read countless accounts, many atrocious in nature, of instances of street harassment that have escalated into something more sinister. Sexual assault, rape, physical violence, for example. These stories serve as proof of why we must never perceive street harassment as innocuous fun.

In my own life I have been at the receiving end of stalking, public masturbation, and violence. This handful of incidents punctuate my otherwise mundane personal history of harassment in public by men, and are typically the anecdotes I refer to when substantiating my arguments for why this phenomenon must be taken more seriously by certain individuals. They are the incidents which invoke a look of shock, disdain or disgust in the face of the listener, or are met with a degree of incredulity – ‘There’s no way in my beautiful city that this could happen!”

Sensational stories involving sex and violence have a cinematic quality, stimulating the voyeur within us. They are the incidents which have made the men I know sit up, take note, and imagine for a moment or longer what it is like to be a typical female, leading a typical life, in the world today. They are valuable.

But what about those more frequent, more mundane, innumerable microaggressions? The ones we label as ‘not that bad’ and forget and accept because that’s what the world has conditioned us to do as women and girls? These too are valuable. The risk we run is that daily experiences are invalidated, overwritten and pushed out of focus by the more extreme stories we have become accustomed to considering more worthy of our attention. There needs to be space to acknowledge the seemingly mundane alongside the major.

It has been this accumulation of daily micro-harassments across my life that has collectively instilled a building fury within me towards the lived reality we contend with on a daily basis as females, rather than the more shocking and obscene experiences I’ve had.

My problem lies with men in cars. The car affords men a certain power in instances of harassment. With a car, no sooner have you been intruded upon than the perpetrator has sped off, leaving you powerless on the pavement. You can’t retaliate, you have no agency, and are left to shake off the incident, awash with anger and/or fear.

Sometimes I wonder if vehicles allow men to behave more audaciously in public in a manner akin to how the internet enables online trolls to unleash a side to their personalities that would remain unseen were it not for the anonymity afforded to them by the internet. People can use the internet and vehicles as tools to provoke, intimidate and threaten without bearing any consequences: they never come face to face with their victim. It’s a highly unequal game of cowardice. This is reflected in how some feel entitled to glare, ogle, shout ,gesticulate and blast horns from their cars to an extent I have found does not happen face-to-face on the street. Harassers in cars have led me to feel physically assessed, menaced, taunted and panicked. There are different nuances every time. If these men did this walking down the street, there would be repercussions: I could retaliate, report them, or alert fellow passers-by. Safely cocooned within their cars, however, harassers feel a sense of liberty and their safe space enables them to strip others of their own sense of safety.

Efforts must be sustained to ensure microaggressions of street harassment are not overlooked or dismissed. Because they too have a cumulative effect on the victim and while they may not escalate into more pronounced forms of violence, they chip away at women, reminding us that we are not out in the world on an equal footing with the men around us. Until the harm of living in this day-to-day reality is acknowledged, I’ll keep writing.

Lindsay is an MSc student at the University of Edinburgh in Sociology and Global Change. She’s working with the Edinburgh branch of Hollaback! and is researching street harassment for her dissertation.

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