Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Avoiding my silent cry for support”

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While walking to the train the other day, I noticed a group of young men ahead of me who were standing off to one side of the sidewalk. At this point, there was plenty of room for me to walk by, but once they spotted me approaching, they seemed to all exchange a look and moved to spread themselves across the width of the sidewalk, blocking my path. Once I reached them, I had to attempt to weave my way through. While I was doing this, they started at various volumes to say nasty things to me, some leaning close to hiss in my ear, and one grabbed my butt.

I quickly got past them and continued to hurry to my train stop. The whole experience was infuriating on so many levels. I wanted to lash out at them and to defend myself, but being outnumbered, I felt powerless and concerned for my safety not knowing what else they would do seeing as, clearly, they had no respect for me or my body. Even more frustrating, I was on a busy street and there were plenty of people around. NONE of them responded to the situation or tried to help. Some looked in my direction, but when I met their gaze, they quickly averted their eyes, avoiding my silent cry for support.

It’s incidents like this that have infected my daily life. They have become contributing factors when I’m making decisions about what to wear, if I’ll go somewhere, which route I’ll take, what time of day I’ll be out, etc. I feel as though the right to walk freely in public spaces is one I’ve been denied.

– anonymous

Location: Chicago

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45-year-old man leers at 14-year-old girl

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This happened yesterday. I’m a guy in my mid thirties from Delhi. I was standing in a store, waiting for the counter boys to be free from the earlier customers awaiting my turn. This young girl aged about 14 was standing in front of me. She was dressed in dark shorts, which weren’t too short and a red tee which covered everything.

This middle aged man walks in, and while he’s standing in the store he looks the little girl up and down again and again. I felt like giving that old man a tight slap across his face, but did not want to create a scene in the store. After a while they left, but the incident left a very bad taste in my mouth.

That man was about 45 plus and the girl not a day over 14. Now I wish I had slapped that old man!

– Tbg

Location: Delhi, India

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Long hair = lewdness, short hair = rudeness

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I submitted the Lucky Charms story the other day, and I feel what happened to me today fell in line with what I mentioned with having short hair equals being “ugly” to harassers.

I was really late for work and had overslept, so dealing with that was enough and I wasn’t in the best mood.

I get off the bus at the stop near my job and a homeless man who I’ve seen for the first time yesterday (but who didn’t bother me) was outside again. To everyone else he’s all, “How ya doin’? Spare a little change? Have a nice day!” but when I walked by it’s, “What the hell?! Ugh! Ugly!” and he started making gestures with his hands as if he was “pushing” me to get out of his sight.

Nothing I’d done warranted his nasty comments, so I had to speak up.

“You don’t say rude things to women who are just trying to walk by and get about their day,” I said. “If you want respect, you’ve gotta show people respect. I did nothing to you for you to talk to me like that.”

He got loud and obnoxious and started cursing at me, all the while still trying to put up the facade that he was a nice, harmless man simply wanting some change by saying, “How ya doin’?” and complimenting people who walked by. He was trying to make me the bad guy, and I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. I also made sure to get a few photos of him. He turned around and hid his face a few times, so I was lucky I got some shots of his face.

“Why you takin’ my picture?” he asked.

“Because you were rude to me for no reason,” I said.

When he got too obnoxious for me with his cursing I called MPD. He tried to run and hide at the Starbucks, but when I said, “He’s going into Starbucks!” to the dispatch, he walked right out. He tried to walk up the street, but when I mentioned on the phone where he was going, he returned again. Then I thought he was going to chase me so I ran, but relaxed when I saw he stopped. All in all he ended up standing right back where he started and went back to panhandling. Then he tried to act like he was being “nice” to me by telling me, “How ya doin’?” in this sarcastic tone, but I wasn’t falling for it.

I couldn’t wait around to see if the police came, but I hope they did. Of course, my job doesn’t care that I was harassed on the way to work (I informed them that I was late and that I was outside calling the police) because I was late. So I have the stigma of being late to work and the stigma of once again being harassed on me. Great.

As I said before, I’ve been ridiculed (when I do get attention, since the attention I’ve gotten from men on the street has decreased greatly since I cut my hair short) by men who think short hair is masculine. I cannot figure out how changing my hair has drastically changed how I get treated. While I am grateful I no longer get the lewd sexual attention that I used to with long hair, I am not grateful that that lewdness was replaced with rudeness. I feel that black women’s femininity is stereotypically defined as having light skin, being thin and having long hair, and since I no longer have one of those things I no longer “count” as feminine to certain men. I’m glad I’m secure enough in myself to know my value and worth as a woman, but it doesn’t help me feel better about what I went through this morning.

– Anonymous

Location: M Street & Wisconsin Avenue, Georgetown, DC

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“Stop frowning, smile goddamnit!”

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Doing my shopping after work in Little Five Points. I still had on my work uniform, and it was incredibly hot. I have to walk from the train station to the district, and by the time I finally reached the store I wanted to go to, I was sweating bullets.

As I’m approaching the doors to this shop, two men are standing on the street. The sidewalk is narrow, and while these men don’t block my path, they will be fairly close to me as I pass by. I walk past, completely in my own world, until the bald-headed one yells at me, and I’ll quote, “Stop frowning, smile goddamnit!” His partner started laughing.

And I tried not to let that get to me. I left the store 30 minutes after finding a great pair of jeans and the men were gone, I got a great studded purse after leaving the district…but every time I think about this, I get a hot spasm of anger.

Second story submitted to this map, but yeah.

– Jaleesa

Location: Atlanta (Little Five Points), GA

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“Getting in women’s faces is aggressive”

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I’ve had a really good day at work and am merrily on my street, almost at my door, weighed down with tins of cat food, when I notice three people coming towards me. I recognise them – they live a few doors down from me – one girl and two guys, all (I think) Turkish students. As I have to walk past them, the taller of the two guys is practically goddamn drooling at my modest shirt dress covered up by a coat and when he gets near me leans over to get right in my face. The other guy (and girl!) don’t even bat an eyelid and I respond by shouting, “Get a grip!” after I’ve rushed past him.

By the time I get home, I’m seething – I’m on my own street and the end of my blissful day has been ruined by this idiot. I’m feeling fragile and end up crying to my boyfriend (whilst Romeo down the road has probably forgotten my existence by now). I don’t usually let this get to me, but it was the blatant aggression of it.

Getting in women’s faces is aggressive and nothing more than a pathetic attempt to shove your masculine ‘power’ in my face. If you try this one again, mate, I think I’ll be doing my best scream queen caterwaul back in your face so you leave with your ears ringing. Leave me the hell alone!

– Anonymous

Location: Waldeck Road, North London, UK

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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