Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I’m a feminist activist, so whoever just touched my arse just made a really stupid mistake.”

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So, today I had a really good day. First, I see that the Welsh government are taking street harassment seriously in the fantastic “One Step Too Far” campaign. Then, I listen to Holly’s interview with Susan Bartelstone and felt even better: wow – people are starting to take this issue seriously! Then, having gone for a quick Friday afternoon drink with a colleague, I become depressed.

It’s my turn to get a drink, so I go to the bar to get a drink for me, my colleague and my boyfriend, who are enjoying the summer evening outside. Waiting at the bar, a guy in front of me who isn’t waiting to be served very politely moves aside for me to reach the bar. It becomes obvious that he is one of a group of four men hanging about the bar – he seems fine, and at least seems to possess some manners – but as I’m stood waiting to be served I feel a hand on my backside. I’m actually so shocked that I don’t move, I pretend I didn’t notice – because how the **** did that just happen?! Please tell me you didn’t just touch me because I’m a woman on my own at a bar?

Waiting for drinks, I can hear the guys behind me laughing about what they just did, whilst I formulate the ideal response. I try to be cool, and when I’ve paid and am heading away from the bar, I say “I’m a feminist activist, so whoever just touched my arse just made a really stupid mistake.”

I have NEVER seen such horrified expressions as I did on these guys – complete dismay and horror that a women had called them out on their actions. I walked away casually back to my boyfriend and friend. Ten minutes later, the politer of the bunch who had moved from the bar for me comes to ‘apologise’ for his idiotic friends. Reasonably nice guy, but why are you apologising for your friends? I reiterated that I don’t appreciate that kind of attention and it is unacceptable; he again apologised. Fair enough – maybe this affected these guys and made them think that this isn’t a good way to behave, but then: why the hell am I telling grown men how to behave?! Can you not see that this isn’t normal?

My one regret: I didn’t make a bigger scene and take a snap for hollaback. I wish I could think quicker.

– Jen

Location: The Friend at Hand pub, Bloomsbury, London

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Thank you for showing respect

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I have many street harassment stories….it happens to me almost every single day. But I really want to share a positive experience I had yesterday!

I was on the sidewalk about 10 last night, walking home from the metro station. I noticed a man crossing the street and walking in my general direction. He caught up to me as I turned the corner, but he made a point to walk in the middle of the street rather than staying close to me on the sidewalk. After about a block, he arrived at his car and nodded to me as I passed.

I kept walking, realizing that this man (a) recognized that a woman walking alone at night might reasonably feel unsafe if an unknown man were to walk too close, and (b) adjusted his path out of respect for my comfort.

A minute later, he drove by, and pausing across the street from me, he said through the open window, “Ma’am, I just wanna make sure you’re OK.”

Floored, I responded that I was fine and almost home. I told him that as a woman walking alone at night, I had noticed and appreciated his effort to give me ample space. Then, he said he’d stay where he was and watch to make sure I got home OK, if I didn’t mind. As I approached my building, I turned and nodded my thanks. He responded with a polite beep of his horn and drove off.

Sir, I know you’ll probably never see this, but just in case you do, thank you. Thank you for being aware of how your presence might affect a woman walking alone on a dark city street. Thank you for making me feel safe by keeping an obvious and comfortable physical distance. And thank you for going above and beyond to ensure that no other stranger on the street would have an opportunity to steal my sense of safety, for at least that one night.

Most days, I hear things like “Hey baby,” “What’s a sexy little thing like you doing out here all by yourself?” and “you better stop bending over before somebody gets excited.” I can’t describe how refreshing it was to be treated with such consideration and respect by a stranger.

– Noel

Location: Congress Heights neighborhood, Washington, DC

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Sick of sleezy comments

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I am so sick and tired of hearing sleezy comments and remarks from men. I ride the subway to work and school on a daily basis and at least once per trip I have to hear some annoying comment about my looks or body parts from some guy. I am very petite with a young looking face and often get mistaken for someone in their late teens. All that I am asking for is a pleasant ride to and from school/work without having to endure any sickening looks and comments.

– anonymous

Location: New York City, NY

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Through a phone call

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I’ve had to deal with cat calling and staring since i was in my early teens, and i was ALWAYS extremely uncomfortable with it. So i had an attitude that i will NOT deal with the crap these creeps put girls through and pretty much…be a b*tch if anyone tries to hit on me or say disgusting things to me. i don’t like to be hit on. these days, being hit on mixed with some vodka can lead to something called rape.

im 21 now and has any of this stopped..nope! these men are thick headed and don’t GET IT. i am a 21 year old girl living in new jersey. i have an amazing boyfriend, a Marine and Iraq Veteran. you would think i have nothing to worry about regarding my safety. wrong!! the other night, when my boyfriend was away for the marines for a few days i got a weird phone call. it was a guy..and he was pretty much screaming at me saying he knows me and needs to know where i am exactly. i didnt know this guy. i told him i dont know anyone named anthony. and he said my full name, that he has a situation and he needs to know my location NOW because he needs to see me tonight. i told him if he has an emergency to call 911 not me and i hung up. i cursed a little here and there but that is me. i go into defense mode. i did not know him and i knew this because he had a “jersey shore guido” accent. im from NJ and i dont associate with those fake people thank you.

anyway i was scared…and my sister was next to me so she googled the number. it was a google proxy number..its confusing i think verizon has it too… that u can pretty much buy the phone number to only use it once and it cant be traced. so now i have a stalker???? and i guess he knows when my boyfriend is away. my full name and my phone number. since that night…i dont like to go anywhere without my boyfriend at all. i dont even like to go to my car in my driveway in the dark. SICK OF THIS.

– NJpink

Location: New Jersey

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Belizean Culture

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I never experienced street harassment until I moved to Belize, Central America almost 9 years ago. I always thought that only very attractive women were harassed, as was my experience growing up and living in the USA. There is no ONE story of harassment in Belize. It happens to almost all women nearly everyday, from little girls in primary school uniforms to elderly grandmothers. We are constantly harassed on the street for the simple fact of being women.

Harassment takes all forms from some, “hey, beautiful!” to graphic descriptions of what men want to do to you, to touching and following. A particular Belizean practice is a “hissing” noise that sounds like how someone would call a dog. Many times the ones who touch or follow are drunk or under the influence of something else. One of the most disheartening things is that all my female friends can talk with “reasonable” men we know and be told how it makes us feel, ruins our days, etc. and we are told we should be flattered and that lots of women “like” it and respond positively to it. I’ve been told over and over, “it’s just a part of Belizean culture.”

It’s not uncommon to see police officers IN UNIFORM harassing women. Sometimes we chose to ignore, sometimes to speak up assertively, and sometimes use humor to diffuse. As a self-defense instructor working with women and girls, this concerns me. I thank you for this forum to share experiences, tips and ideas! Until street harassment ends, women will remain “second class citizens.”

– S. Renee Wentz

Location: Belize

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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