Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Fat Cow” meets Arsch Lecker

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I was in the Bahnhoff of a small city in Bavaria on the second floor, headed for the restroom. This guy turns the stairs and walks toward me. He catches my eye and I can see him suck in a breath and get ready to say something. I’m tired, I have to pee, I have to pay 2 euros to take a piss at McDonald’s, and this guy triggers my memory of a man who followed me in Munich. It’s an automatic reaction to nip this in the bud. I jerk my head no–sharply, while looking him in the eye. Maybe I put him off his game, because it took him a few beats to recover from the shock. He walks by and murmurs “fat cow.”

I’m shocked, so I keep walking. I assert my right to not talk to a complete stranger in a public but isolated train station with a curt nod and he thinks it’s okay to insult me? Because I nodded at him!? I really wish I’d have said something back-those words hurt, even two years later. Because I am fat, very fat. But I’m not bovine, or slatternly, or glutinous, or anything else implied by “fat cow.”

Was this my punishment for asserting myself, for denying him access? What an arsch lecker!

– anonymous

Location: Bavaria, Germany

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“Can I walk with you?”…No.

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A block southeast of Newport on the Levee, just past the peace bell, this creepy, really old white guy asks me and my cousin, “Hey ladies, can I walk with you?”

We never seem to see this coming and are always flustered when it does happen. We just sped up and said something like no. Thankfully there wasn’t a car coming. I thought the man was mentally disturbed. There were people behind him in the building who had to have heard him.

– anonymous

Location: Newport, KY

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“Can’t even go on a coffee break…”

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Yesterday I was walking across 17th St. (at the intersection with K St. in Washington, DC) on my way to meet someone for coffee. As I stepped back up onto the sidewalk from the street, a guy on the corner said to me, “Hey there, beautiful.”

I just ignored him and continued walking by. After I got past him, he said, “F*** you!!” I was scared to turn around and say something because what if he decided to get violent after using such violent language and tone?

I ignored him again and was a little shaken by the time I got to the coffee shop.

– anonymous

Location: 17th and K Street, Washington, DC

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Outrageous harasser on the morning commute

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Photo by contributor

I board the bus heading to work this morning. The driver wishes me “good morning,” I return the favor, tap my SmartTrip card and head to the back of the bus where I find an available seat. I get lost in space as I read my book.

At Rosslyn, a man comes on the bus, looking mad as I don’t know what. He’s rambling, cursing about this or that, and just gives me this bad vibe. He sits two seats down from me, clumping his backpack down between us really hard. He pulls out his paper, cursing while he reads.

He says something to me, but I ignore it, thinking he’s saying something ignorant. Then I chose to move away from him, and he gets pissed.

“Fuck you,” he says. “When a black man tries to talk to you, you run away, but when a white man talks to you you smile and get all happy. Stuck up black bitch! You love the white man’s dick. You’ll suck a white man’s dick! You ain’t shit anyway. You ain’t got no ring on your finger. Ain’t no one want you. And you got knotty dreads – nasty. You probably ain’t wash yo’ dreads ‘cuz you afraid…”

All this nonsense when I was trying to read a damn book!

I pull out my phone…

“Go ahead, call someone! You ain’t got no one to talk to,” he says.

…and take his photo in the rare moment he wasn’t looking. Then I head to the front of the bus, away from this fool, and ask the driver to call the police.

“This guy is on the back of the bus cursing at me for no reason at all,” I said. “Telling me I suck white man’s dick and other nonsense.”

The guy walked up front from the back of the bus and starts saying more crap! He’s directly behind me at this point.

“I opened a window and she got all scared and moved away!” the crazy man yelled. “I tried to ask her about the window and she ignored me and moved away.”

“I didn’t realize you opened a window!” I said. “You were sitting at the back of the bus, cursing and ranting, talking about me sucking white man’s dick—“

“Watch your mouth!” the driver snapped. “You two need to stop.”

Why was I getting blamed? I didn’t raise my voice or curse, and I was only repeating what the guy had been saying to me.

“Go ahead, cry and whine to the driver,” the crazy guy continues. “You all fine until someone insults you, then you want to cry like a baby.”

“I am not crying,” I said, calmly. “You don’t see me crying.” This was so frustrating.

The crazy guy goes to the back of the bus, still ranting and cursing, and a nice gentleman gave up his seat in the front of the bus so I could get away from this guy. I had the foresight to have Metro Police’s number on my phone, so I called them, described the guy, told them the bus route and bus number, and where we were located at. Sure, the driver can tell me “good morning” but he’s pretty much useless for anything else.

The crazy guy got off a few stops before I did, so I called Metro Police back to let them know that.

“You’ve just gotta stay humble,” the guy at the front of the bus said. “Guys like him are everywhere. All you can do is keep your cool, don’t let it get to you…” and stuff I was just too distracted to take in at the moment.

When I got off the bus I thanked the guy and told him to have a good day. Yet I feel numb. I’m just so used to being sexually harassed that I’m surprised I didn’t start getting angry, or cursing, or crying or showing some kind of emotion. All those people on that bus just sat there and watched me get cursed out and called names because I chose to ignore a crazy lunatic on the bus. Is this like Pay-Per-View or morning entertainment to them?

Things need to change. Not only do harassers need to be held accountable for what they do, the people who sit idly by and watch this stuff happen need to do so as well.

– anonymous

Location: 38B towards Farragut Square (Bus #2600), Washington DC

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“Tired of being harassed”

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When leaving work yesterday, I crossed the street past these chunky, middle-aged men. They were checking me out…gross. When I turn my head, knowing they were going to continue watching me from behind, I caught them still staring at me. “Ew!” I said.

Then they tried to save face. “We were thinking the same thing about you!” Yeah, right!

I hate how men will bend over backwards to check you out, but when you call them out on it it becomes “Well, you’re ugly anyway!” All I can do is shake my head at this.

– anonymous

Location: NW DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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