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“I am not your sista”

November 25, 2009 By Contributor

I’m a Black woman, and I hate the familiarity some Black men who are strangers use toward me.

I had just gotten off the bus to go to work this morning, feeling drowsy and out of it. I see this delivery guy wheeling cartons of liquor into one of the restaurants, and he leans in close to me and says “Ay, girl!” as if we were long-time buddies or something. I am tired and am not in the mood to entertain men I don’t know, so I don’t respond. I stare straight ahead and continue on my destination.

“You can’t speak?” he says. “You too good to speak?” I still don’t bother to respond, and I don’t bother to look back his way either when he continues to attempt to elicit my attention.

He hadn’t bothered to talk to any of the other women of different races who walked by—he only targeted me. I hate how harassers think that being the same race gives them an automatic “in” to bother me. I am not your “sista”—you are a STRANGER to me. I’m just a woman who wants to be left alone.

– “Anonymous Black Woman”

Location: M Street between Wisconsin and 31st, Washington, DC

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: intraracial harassment, not your sista, sexual harassment, street harassment, Washington DC

“Never Wanted to Be A Princess”

November 24, 2009 By Contributor

Saturday, Nov. 21st around 4 p.m. near City Hall in NYC, I got out of the subway and was running late to meet my boyfriend. A couple of men passed me and one said, “You have a nice holiday now!” (which while weird, isn’t so bad) as I passed him he followed up with, “I think you look like a princess.”

Around the corner and a completely different man pushing a hand truck of produce goes, “Heeeeey sweetie!”

Made me feel like I must have been wearing something inappropriate/overly revealing to receive so much attention. I hate that I internalize it like that.

– ML

Location: New York City

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: catcalling, New York City, princess, sexual harassment, street harassment

“A sad tale of harassment”

November 19, 2009 By Contributor

I am a 23 year old Muslim black female student from the north west of England. I have been continually harassed on the street when coming home from work or university. The men are mainly of Asian or Kurdish descent from the neighbourhood I live in. Despite the fact that I am a confident woman and don’t dress up provocatively, I still get harassed by older who ask for my number and others who call me names. Although there is nothing physical about it, it is unbelievably destroying in terms of self esteem and makes me feel dirty and unsafe. the thing that drive me mad even more is the fact that the white population are unaware of the problem because they are the majority and everyone reveres them.

– anonymous

Location: NW England

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: england, muslim, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

Metro Stalker

November 19, 2009 By Contributor

Although I am verbally and sometimes physically harassed literally every time I walk to and from the DC metro to my work place, the most recent incident was the most disturbing.

Waiting in the metro station for my train, i heard a male voice saying “Hey sweetie” over and over again while I read a book, and then was approached by a very tall male who proceeded to “praise” me with what he must have considered “compliments” about my appearance. He asked a series of questions, very aggressively, so I felt pressured to comply and answer, though I lied about my name and where i was headed, where I lived, etc., and di not feel comfortable telling him, I’m a lesbian, I have a long-term partner, because those sounds like excuses with the potential to infuriate. He grabbed my hand and wrote his number on it, pressing so hard it cut my skin, and proceeded to ask about me calling him, demanding details about this future call.

When the train arrived, he got on the same car as me, despite telling me he lived in the opposite direction of my train. I tried to sit away from him, but he continued trying to speak with me across rows of seats and passangers. At a high-traffic stop, I snuck off behind another passanger. When he spotted me through the large window on the platform, he was obviously very angry, and stood up. He was moving quickly for the door, but they had shut and the train was moving. I let a few trains pass and took a longer, more complicated transfer pattern from train to train to ensure I didn’t see him again.

While the entire thing was obvious annoying, it goes beyond that – that kind of control exhibited over you in a public sphere is disempowering and disoriented, and shakes a person’s sense of confidence and safety. The anger on his face and his attempt to get off at the arbitrary station I chose sincerely lead me to believe he had plans for following me to the false end-point I’d told him, which is TERRIFYING unto itself, but especially in conjunction with the series of media stories detailing the indifference and non-action of public transportation attendants/others in the general public.

– Jess

Location: Washington, D.C.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: DC, metro, Stories, street harassment, Washington

Dirty schoolboys

November 17, 2009 By Contributor

When I was about 16, I was walking around the grounds outside my school and a younger boy (about 14) grabbed me between my legs and had a good feel. I was so ashamed that he’d found out I was having my period that I forgot to punch him in the face. I have never got over letting him get away with it and I never recognised him at school although I probably passed him many times.

– anonymous

Location: Midlands, UK

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: groping, schoolboys, sexual assault, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

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