Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

He “only” wanted to follow her

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I was walking back home one night, in my lovely neighborhood in central Paris, it was around 8 or 9 PM. I felt a guy walking towards me and got tense. What effort would I have to produce to make him leave me alone in an efficient way?

The guy began talking to me, the regular bullshit. He was not aggressive but very insistent. I remained calm, didn’t make eye contact but still told him in a polite way I didn’t want anything from him and wanted to be left alone.

The guy literally walked me home – I was almost there when he first approached me. He was just a few meters away from me so I figured I would have time to open the door of my building and quickly get in. I rushed and panicked because I realized he had put his foot in the door. I lived in what used to be the superintendant’s apartment so I had no other locked door to cross, only mine.

The guy came right after me and as I was opening my own door, he kind of rushed and we both fell on the ground of my little apartment. He fell over me, to tell the truth. It was all dark and I was so scared I began peeing on myself – all kinds of visions went through my mind: “So it’s happening to me, now, the door is going to close back on us, the guy is going to rape me and nobody will hear me or even try to come to help.”

It all went very fast. The guy stood up and kind of backed off, I didn’t exactly pushed him or fought or anything like this. He looked a little puzzled and as he was standing there, already out the door, I told him he was crazy and he had to go. He said he was sorry, that he had thought I had entered a staircase and not my own home and that he “only” wanted to follow me (like it’s more honorable, or something.) He finally left in a very neutral manner, like nothing had happened. I was in shock.

I think, at a certain point, he got scared by the whole situation. Maybe he didn’t want to go that far and scare me that much. I don’t think he really knew what he was doing but still, all I really know is that, as is true of many men, he couldn’t take “no” for an answer.

– E. B.

Location: Paris, France

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Dirty school girl outfit

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One time a man followed me down the street when I walked past a bar. He grabbed my shoulder and asked me if I was able to model for him, he wanted to take photos of me in a dirty schoolgirl outfit. I had just turned eighteen, so I couldn’t get him in more trouble. He wouldn’t leave me alone and kept on touching me. I started to scream and he got angry, but then a friend of my fathers saw what was happening and rescued me.

The thing is, the man didn’t smell like booze at all, he wasn’t drunk. He got dragged away by my father’s friend calling me a cunt and a slut and a bitch and told the police when I called them that it was my fault. I was just walking by… I was wearing a big oversized shirt and regular jeans. I just stood there and cried. I called my dad and he came to pick me up.

– anonymous

Location: Provincetown, MA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Refused to take 'no' for an answer

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One of many incidents during my daily commute (by bus) involved being followed by a man who refused to take “no” for an answer.

After getting off the bus at a terminal near my office, I walked past this person, a younger guy, probably in his mid-20s. Even though I didn’t make eye contact, he attempted to get my attention. Without looking at him, I said something to the effect of “sorry, I’m not interested” and kept walking to the pick-up spot for my office’s shuttle.

Within minutes he was there and insisting on starting a conversation despite my having told him twice, at this point, that I wasn’t interested. I was forced to just smile and nod and tolerate him until my office shuttle arrived.

Its arrival gave me an easy out of the one-sided conversation, but I was incredibly embarrassed at the prospect of being seen with this guy and having to explain why he was talking to me in the first place. Even though there was no real threat, as we were in a crowded area, my sense of fear and humiliation is as intense now as it was then.

– anonymous

Location: Philadelphia, PA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Refused to take ‘no’ for an answer

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One of many incidents during my daily commute (by bus) involved being followed by a man who refused to take “no” for an answer.

After getting off the bus at a terminal near my office, I walked past this person, a younger guy, probably in his mid-20s. Even though I didn’t make eye contact, he attempted to get my attention. Without looking at him, I said something to the effect of “sorry, I’m not interested” and kept walking to the pick-up spot for my office’s shuttle.

Within minutes he was there and insisting on starting a conversation despite my having told him twice, at this point, that I wasn’t interested. I was forced to just smile and nod and tolerate him until my office shuttle arrived.

Its arrival gave me an easy out of the one-sided conversation, but I was incredibly embarrassed at the prospect of being seen with this guy and having to explain why he was talking to me in the first place. Even though there was no real threat, as we were in a crowded area, my sense of fear and humiliation is as intense now as it was then.

– anonymous

Location: Philadelphia, PA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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I've had…

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I’ve been harassed more times than I can remember, starting when I was fourteen. I’ve been followed for blocks. I’ve had men walk up to me and say “I want to fuck you.”

I’ve had my ass grabbed. I’ve had lewd comments made about my body. I’ve had men ask me to get in their cars. I’ve had men stop their cars and get out to harass me as I walked down a quiet street. I’ve had men take my photograph. I’ve had a taxi driver pull off the street and ask me if I was a virgin. I’ve had men ask me for dates in the grocery store and get angry when I ignored them.

I’ve been grabbed roughly by the arm by several different men on several different occasions because I dared to ignore their greetings. I’ve been called a bitch. I get stared at all the time by men I don’t know. I have men approach me with personal questions. Even while with my husband or my dad, I’ve had men say things or blatantly stare at me. If I’m wearing sunglasses, men start asking what co lor eyes I have. I’ve had men intimidate me into giving them my (made-up) name and (made-up) phone number. I’ve been called a whore. I’ve had men say they’d like to grab my tits. I’ve had taxi drivers shout at me that their taxi is free.

Men stare at my breasts all the time. I’ve been fondled by multiple men while stuck in a crowd. I’ve had a man stick his hand up my skirt. I’ve had another man stick his hand down the front of my dress. I’ve had men persist in trying to get a date with me for near an hour, when I’m merely trying to browse the bookstore. I’ve had men offer unsolicited critiques of my clothing.

I’m in my early thirties now and I avoid going places where I think harassment is likeliest. I avoid eye contact with all unknown men. I frown while out in public. I walk fast. I *never* relax in public and always feel like I am on display. I’m frequently bitchy to men who try to strike up a conversation with me. I’m scared every single time I walk past a man on the street.

– anonymous

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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