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Tunisian street harassment

July 12, 2009 By Contributor

Being in Tunisia for the summer, street harassment is an incessant issue for me. I’m often told by other Americans that I just need to deal with it, because it’s just part of their culture and I shouldn’t insult a different culture. I’m told by Tunisians to just ignore it, which is hardly a satisfying response, but provoking them is often just as worse. I’m also told by people, like my mother, that i should stop complaining because it’s a compliment, and I’ll miss it when I’m old and don’t get cat called anymore. (I even wrote about this in my blog, http://independentlyowned.wordpress.com/2009/06/29/transnational-gender-stereotypes/)

The harassment is usually low-level, and comes in the form of “Hello, miss,” “Bonjour,” “Very nice,” kissing noises, or other such small yet obnoxious comments. They usually say it when they’re just about to pass me, when they’re closest to me for that one brief second. They obviously don’t expect me to respond, otherwise they wouldn’t wait until the last moment. It’s merely a way of asserting their power over women, because they feel that they have a right to comment to any woman that they wish but they’re not giving us the right to respond back. It’s like getting into an argument with someone where they go on a rant and then hang up the phone, or sign offline. They don’t respect you enough to allow you to respond, nor do they care.

Other times harassment comes in the form of intense stares. They might not say anything, but instead glare you down until you’re out of their line of vision. Nothing will come of it if you do or don’t respond, but it is the most unsettling feeling. It is especially bad when dozens of men are all sitting at a street cafe and all stare as you walk by. It is not flattering, and I feel like an animal on display at the zoo.

Most people say just to ignore it, but this is hardly satisfying, and often impossible. Even if I pretend like they don’t exist, they still did what they wanted to do and I feel used. They still leave the situation satisfied and thinking that what they did was totally okay.

No matter what I wear I will get harassed, even when I was here in the winter and was completely covered I still got harassed. Some Americans suggest that I wear hijab to avoid it, but especially seeing as it is not required of women, and in fact more than half the women do not wear it, I feel like I shouldn’t have to resort to such (in my opinion) oppressive measures just to be able to walk freely down the street. Also, I might still get harassed simply because I’m white and thus foreigner. The burden should not be on me to cover myself and look “less desirable,” especially when most women wear the highest fashions, but it should be the responsibility of the men to behave in public.

– Katie Franklin

Location: Tunisia

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: cat calls, catcalling, hijab, sexual harassment, street harassment, Tunsia

Dealing with it the wrong way

July 7, 2009 By Contributor

There is only one road where I can walk my dog to the local park in London, UK and a man has been beeping his car horn or waving and smiling at me every time he sees me alone.

I don’t know him and I don’t want to know him so I’ve never responded in the 6 months or so he’s been doing it – until recently when he did it twice in one day and actually slowed, leered, waved and said hello. I shouted at him to F… Off in no uncertain terms and that was definitely the wrong way.

He has carried on doing it and now he knows for sure he’s really bothering me; just great. He lives in a cul-de-sac and I can see where he lives with his offending car parked outside – until I shouted at him that is. Now he’s hiding his car in his garage, I wonder why? I am tempted to go knock on his door and say ‘Here I am then, you keep trying to get my attention in the street, now what do you want?’ or ‘Is your wife home? Can I have a word with her?’ I guess these idiots rely on women not having the nerve to do that and they’re right. I hate it – why should we be forced into an unwanted confrontation?

Why does this guy persist when he knows I know where he lives? Why do harassers TRUST us? And nobody else sees it as a big problem so we get no support.

– anonymous

Location: London

[Editor’s note: the author selected the blog title; I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong” way to deal with harassment, we all must choose what’s best for ourselves in each harassment incident]

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: catcalling, leering, London, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment, walking dog

With a confidence I didn't feel inside

July 3, 2009 By Contributor

I got off the railway station at 10.30 at night and I was walking towards my home which is hardly 2 minutes from the railway station. A group of young men on the road made me feel very unsafe and scared because they made a vulgar gesture at me and tried to block my path with a bike. There were not many people around and i panicked, but I just walked past with a confidence i didn’t feel inside, ignoring the cigarette smoke that they blew into my face.

-Anonymous

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: block path, sexual harassment, street harassment, vulgar gesture

With a confidence I didn’t feel inside

July 3, 2009 By Contributor

I got off the railway station at 10.30 at night and I was walking towards my home which is hardly 2 minutes from the railway station. A group of young men on the road made me feel very unsafe and scared because they made a vulgar gesture at me and tried to block my path with a bike. There were not many people around and i panicked, but I just walked past with a confidence i didn’t feel inside, ignoring the cigarette smoke that they blew into my face.

-Anonymous

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: block path, sexual harassment, street harassment, vulgar gesture

Machismo

June 29, 2009 By Contributor

There is a problem in the Hispanic Male community. I don’t want this to sound racist, and I apologize if it does. I moved recently from Lincoln Square (North side of Chicago) to Albany Park (2 miles west) and am now in a neighborhood that is a large percentage Hispanic. I want to point out that most of the people are very friendly and I like them. However, since it has gotten warm outside, I have been catcalled, harassed, and followed by men in cars at least once a week.

This has never happened to me before in my life and I am 32 years old and have lived on the North Side of Chicago for over 10 years. The men are always Latino. There is no other explanation other than culture for why this has started happening all of the sudden to me.

To those in the Hispanic/Latino community who care about this issue – PLEASE, teach your boys that it is NOT ok to harass women like they’re meat on the street? There is something wrong with a culture that teaches men that is acceptable.

-Laura

Location: Albany Park, Chicago, Illinois

(Submit your stories here)

[Editor’s note: While I have a policy against racism, I chose to post her submission as she sent it  because I did not feel her experiences or opinions were voiced in a malicious or hateful way. Race does play a role in much of gender-based public harassment, especially in the U.S. where race means many things to different people, and so I think it’s important to have dialogue on the issue if it’s done with the purpose of learning and addressing the problem and not being racist. Please see my related post on “piropos” for more about street harassment in Hispanic culture.

But I will note, men of all races harass women of all races and really, American culture teaches men this is acceptable just as much as any other. Just read comments from American men and some women when mainstream news or blogs cover catcalling or more benign forms of street harassment. Inevitably some of the commenters declare the behavior is flattering and men’s right and women ask for it by the way they dress and women overreact and blah blah blah.]

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: catcalling, chicago, hispanic, machismo, race, sexual harassment, street harassment

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