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Polite Smile = Invitation to Stalk?

May 23, 2009 By Contributor

Almost everyday I deal with men who are trying to get my attention just because I am a young woman who commutes to work everyday by myself, so I am always keeping to myself. However, if spoken to I am usually a cheerful person and will smile and take the other person into consideration in certain cases.

One day while commuting home during rush hour, I accidentally smiled politely as I walked by a man boarding the train a couple of cars down from where I was walking to, and without realizing it he started following behind me to board the same car as me.

After that, he wouldn’t stop trying to talk to me, and made it clear that he assumed many things about me like he thought I was a German foreigner (probably because I hadn’t acted like he either didn’t exist or scowled at him or something), and he insisted on trying to find out as much as he could about me and following me off when I was trying to transfer. I eventually lost him in the rush of people while going to another train, but ever since I have changed my commute route after work so that I don’t have to run into this guy again.

-anonymous

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: following, public transportation, sexual harassment, stalking, street harassment

No, no, and no!

May 15, 2009 By Contributor

After a night at an expensive NYC restaurant for my friend’s birthday, a few of us were trying to hail a cab. First a taxi full of older men pulled up and said “You girls looking for a good time?” Then a van with another bunch of men stopped near us and shouted “Hey, you girls want some cock?” Then another car pulled up and told us to get in, and even when we said no, the driver shouted after us. This was all in the span of about five to ten minutes at the longest.

-anonymous

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: NYC, sexual harassment, street harassment

Class Act

May 10, 2009 By Contributor

Getting onto a city bus, a group of guys walked over just to stare at my butt while I got on. When guys follow me around grocery stores, even when I have my boyfriend with me, what makes them think in anyway I’m going to be flattered by somebody following me around? It’s scary more than anything. Walking and getting followed by cars, ugh. I actually had to tell a group of guys to leave me alone because they were freaking me out a couple of days ago, they then proceeded to call me a bitch in front of everybody and flipped me off, and sped away. Class act huh?

-anonymous

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: following, sexual harassment, stalking, Stories, street harassment

Haircut

May 5, 2009 By Contributor

I had just cut my hair really short and some guy on a crowded subway car started pointing at me and talking to his friend about how ugly I was. It was so humiliating and people kept turning to stare at me. I finally told him to shut the f*** up and he lost his shit on me. He started screaming about what an ugly dyke I was, etc. I was scared and humiliated. It happened years ago and I still feel sick when I think about it.

-anonymous


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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: dyke, hair cut, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment, subway

Why isn't a "no" enough?

May 4, 2009 By Contributor

[Editors Note: On May 1, I participated in Blogging Against Disability Day and one commenter on my post shared the following about her experiences with street harassment and I thought it deserved its own post.]

Unfortunately, I do think that people with disabilities are quite vulnerable to this kind of harassment. Luckily, I have not experienced any sexualized harassment since needing to use my wheelchair, but I do get the people who just move you, who think nothing of pushing your chair out of their way, as if you weren’t a real person for them to have to even acknowledge – the fact that it’s your body they are moving means nothing to them.

However, back before I acquired my current disability, I was a dancer, one with fragile ankles. Once, after I’d broken my ankle and was hobbling along on my crutches, making my way to school, a man in a car pulled up along side me and offered me a ride. I was 14, and he was, at the very least, 40. I didn’t know him and politely declined, thanked him and kept on hobbling. He started to follow me, kept asking me why I was being so stubborn, how he could see that I was in pain, and he kept pressuring me to get into the car. I started to get more and more uncomfortable, even though he hadn’t said or done anything overtly threatening. (besides not taking my “no” as an answer, that is).

As I turned the corner to a one way street, he continued to follow me, going in the wrong direction, even. It was then that I went from creeped out to totally terrified: I could not have escaped him in my condition, and I think he realized that he was frightening me, because his demeanor changed from cajoling to demanding very quickly. He started calling me names, and making lewd suggestions; my ‘hurried’ pace made him laugh and taunt about how he’d have to drive faster now to catch me. Another car happened to be coming the right way down the street, at just the right moment, and the other driver honked at him, then yelled out his window to ask me if I was alright, so the driver who had followed me quickly backed up and drove away. Although nothing physically happened to me, that feeling of being threatened was just so intense, and I still think I owe that other driver a huge debt of gratitude.

–NTE

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: BADD, blogging against disability day 2009, bystander help, dancer, followed, sexual harassment, street harassment, wheelchair

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