Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I turned around and screamed, ‘Go ahead and try!'”

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I was at the Mid-State Fair in 2004. I was an 18-year-old senior in high just enjoying some fun with friends. It was pretty crowded and dark out. These two Hispanic men said in Spanish, “Grab her ass.” I turned around and screamed, “Go ahead and try!”

The people around immediately started staring and they literally ran off. I’m a very light-skinned Hispanic female and all my friends were Caucasian and I think they assumed I was too and wouldn’t understand them, but I did!

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Empower women to speak up be loud and stand up! We don’t have to cower or be afraid. We are so much stronger than the men that are verbally and physically pushy. Bringing unwanted attention to them isn’t what they want.

– MJ

Location: Mid State Fair in California

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“What if he’s still there when I go home?”

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Last summer, I was on my way to work one morning and had just stepped through the turnstiles at the subway when an older guy walked up to me and tried to get my attention. I had music on so I didn’t hear him at first but, half-asleep as I was, I thought he might want to ask for directions or something.

So I paused the music and said, “Sorry?”

And he said, “You’ve got great boobs” and smiled. Like it was a compliment and I should be flattered.

I was so shocked, I just made a noise of the disgust, turned the music back on and kept walking. Still, all day, I felt dirty and wrong. In the back of my head, I was second-guessing my clothes and worrying that people at work might find my top inappropriate, if it made someone comment on my breasts like that. Also, I kept thinking, “What if he’s still there when I go home?”

He wasn’t, of course, but later that night I told my parents all about it. My mum was properly outraged but my dad just said, “So? What’s so wrong about that?” He, too, seemed to think it was a compliment and didn’t understand at all when I said, “Do you really want someone to talk to your daughter that way? Do you think that’s ok?”

Seriously, what world do we live in when even my own father can’t see the problem with someone objectifying and demeaning his daughter like that?

– Sophia

Location: Stockholm, Sweden

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“Tell her not to dress so sexy and people won’t look at her”

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I visited New York City last week from France. I went out with my daughter shopping in Time Square. I noticed a man following her closely and he seemed to have his phone pointed at her as she walked. When we stopped for traffic, he got in close with the phone. I said, “Excuse me? What are you doing?” and he said, “Your daughter is beautiful.” I said, “Stop filming her.” He said, “Tell her not to dress so sexy and people won’t look at her.”

It really almost ruined our trip and I am so sad my daughter was exposed to that.

– Wilma

Location: Times Square, NYC

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“You might fall off that jeep and die. We don’t want that.”

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I ended up walking home last night due to a huge traffic jam. As I was passing along the sidewalk some men hanging from the side of a jeep started calling out to me. “Hey miss,” they jeered, laughing all the while as I tried to ignore them. I felt very self conscious as I was wearing a form fitting office attire and very dark red lipstick. I know I shouldn’t feel regret at my choice in clothing and I should not be harassed because I looked great, but it happened and it irritated me to no end. I did not dress up to be attractive to others, I dressed up for myself. And yet there they were, these ignorant men, calling at me from the safety of their jeep.

“Good evening,” I replied, “be safe you guys. I don’t want you to die. You might fall off that jeep and die. We don’t want that.”

They looked at each other and spoke loudly back, “We didn’t think you’d respond.”

“Try not to die,” I replied, emphasizing die.

“Wow miss, thanks.”

The jeep sped away and they waved at me as they said, “Goodbye, Miss!”

And I waved back at them. My stomach did a flip. F**k those guys.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Men should be educated about harassment and gender sensitivity. I know the men who harassed me were very uneducated and were not that bright.

– Maxi B

Location: City

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“Looking gay today”

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Two times in the last week I have had different guys shout out of the passenger side of a car at me. Also, I’m a guy. The first screamed “faggot” and the second said, “Looking gay today” as I walked by the car while it was at a stop light.

I’m a straight guy who does take care of the way I look. I am not afraid to wear brighter colors.

Neither of these are my first experiences with such harassment, but I’ve never had two within a week. The first time this week really pissed me off and I wanted to punch the guy in the face. I stewed about it for a while, feeling a little shamed and shocked. I wondered why on earth the guy felt he had any right to even comment on me walking down the street.

The second time the guy didn’t scream it at me but just said nonchalantly, “Looking gay today.” I ignored it and wondered why him and the other guy even noticed me and bothered to comment. I think that says something about them right there.

That second time I felt pretty belittled and there were a couple of other people nearby. I felt like that comment might initiate more harassment from someone else. I walked quickly with my senses heightened concerned that someone might decide to act on the comment. I also prepared to throw the hardest punches I could if need be. So I felt I needed to prepare to fight, both times. Luckily I just kept going and nothing came of it.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

As far as street harassment goes, perhaps passing a law making it illegal to threaten or harass people from a car.

– J

Location: First place was in Sammamish, WA, by Pine Lake, second was by Target across the street from Northgate Mall in Seattle.

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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