Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“It’s about silencing them”

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I was walking/running to the bus stop to go to campus for classes. I had my yoga mat under one arm; I’m taking yoga to fulfill my university’s Health & Wellness credit. A middle-aged man standing with two others (one man, one woman) calls out to me, “Oooo girl, body lookin’ ready for yoga class” to which I gave a quick reply with my middle finger. Then I hear this: “Yeah, watch what I do to you and that finger bitch”. I look back and see his friends, including the woman, laughing. It was infuriating. It was dehumanizing. It was pure disrespect and sounded like a barely-veiled rape threat.

I began carrying a knife in my bag the next day.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

From childhood onward, teach respect for all people in the home, schools, government, everywhere. Teach fathers to raise sons who won’t grow up thinking it’s okay to yell/whisper intimidating things at women. Street harassment is not and never was about “complimenting” women. It’s about silencing them.

– Emma

Location: Walking to a bus stop

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“It could’ve been worse. But UGH!!”

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I was walking out of a yoga studio and went straight to unlock my bike. I glanced at a short guy with a black eye swollen shut. He made a beeline to me mumbling something like, “Hey, you white, you black.” I say, “Goodbye” firmly several times and ignore him while proceeding to in lock my bike. He doesn’t stop talking and keeps moving toward my bike. I tell him to f*** off and he ends up yanking out my break cable. Three guys across the street yell “Hey! Hey!” and start to cross. Dude with black eye runs off and I jump on my bike and make my escape.

How it made me feel: not super threatened because I was in a street in daylight with people around. It could’ve been worse. But UGH!!

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Map instances of harassment and provide descriptions of harassers

– Sarah Hausman

Location: Petworth neighborhood in Washington, DC – Lamont and Kenyon

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“Nothing can change in a world under capitalist rule”

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When I was around 18, I was often harassed by older men at night, once one of them took me forcefully by the arm and tried to convince me to follow him to a “party”. After refusing several times he still wouldn’t let go of my arm, so I had to shove him to free myself. This event was particularly disturbing.

I get “catcalled” by women sometimes but it’s rare, less than once a month or perhaps every other month. Things like “come fuck me, it’s my birthday! *giggles*” and stuff like that. It doesn’t affect me very much (actually usually I find the situation funny, although I know I shouldn’t and I don’t approve of their behavior).

When I was 19, I worked a summer in a hospital and was frequently harassed/lightly assaulted by female patients, although usually very old or suffering from some form of mental disorder (I assume).

I was groped a few times on dates as I was trying to leave. I usually find that extremely rude but it didn’t affect my dating life much (except for never wanting to see those people again).

The scary harassment events are of the “non-sexual” kind, when people, often drunk and sometimes in groups, in public transportation or in the street, act aggressively and try to intimidate me. These happen about once every other month. The perpetrators are usually men but women are involved around a third of the time. I noticed when they are men they tend to be young, when they are women they tend to be middle-aged.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Perpetrators of street harassment are for the most part not on the privileged side of the social spectrum. People living in poverty, people marginalized for such or such reason (immigrants from developing countries, people with alcohol or drug abuse problems, people suffering from mental issues etc.) are much more likely to resort to anti-social acts. There is no feasible solution to street harassment, the problem is with people lacking the means to live a decent, dignified life. Like most societal problems, street harassment can’t be beaten unless we change the structures of society to be fair and equitable. Nothing can change in a world under capitalist rule.

– Anonymous

Location: Nantes, France

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“Interacting with women is not a game to be won”

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When I lived in the city, in my daily commute I would pass by both homeless men and men just walking around who would leer at me or make comments. It would make me feel angry and cause me to walk incredibly fast. The last leg of my daily commute involved walking past a fancy hotel, and the doorman would recognize me and give a friendly “hello ma’am” greeting. Sometimes I would be so on-edge and aggravated by the earlier men that I would accidentally glare at him or turn my face away and walk faster before realizing he was probably just trying to be friendly.

More common is going out to bars with a female friend or relative and a man coming up and just standing next to me. Not talking to me, not talking to a friend, but just being alone and standing very close to me. I never understand why men do this; I can only assume that they hope I will notice and initiate a conversation, or that my female companion will leave and give them an opening to jump in and say something, I’m not sure. The most recent time this happened my mom was visiting me from out of town and we went to get drinks and some man just stood behind me leering over my shoulder. The bar had a lot of people but there was plenty of room for him to stand elsewhere. It was very distracting and it took a lot of effort to ignore it.

A similar situation happened when I was younger, maybe in my early 20s. My parents and sibling and I had dinner reservations for a holiday meal downtown but my dad took us to a place to get drinks before the meal since we were too early. I was talking to my dad when another, older man just stood near us the whole time. This man finally even asked, “Can I talk to your daughter?” and my dad told him to buzz off. He didn’t appear to be drunk but who knows.

And actually now that I think back, when I was way younger this happened too, when I was around 14-15 years old. My family would often go to this restaurant after church every Sunday and the bus boy would lean against the back of the booth I was seated in, or stand in the hallway near our table or lean on the wall between serving water, just starting at me. He would never say anything but he would make it clear he was interested in me.

Unfortunately my parents were new to men leering at their daughter and thought it was a harmless compliment but it made me feel dirty and alone, like I had dressed some way or did my hair some way to make him stare at me and no one would believe that this wasn’t right (I felt that people would think I was crazy for being upset that some creep found me attractive) or that I could share how uncomfortable I felt so I’d just have to sit and quietly deal with it.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Teach consent in high school! This is the number one way to teach young men and women how to respect one anothers’ boundaries and have consent before interacting with them. I feel many men grow up confused and frustrated by women who have grown up fearful and whose first instinct is to avoid strange men or be skeptical of new men (not that anyone can blame them!). If they understood what consent actually means they would understand how to have productive, respectful conversations with women instead of being fearful and frustrated by them. They would learn how to respect themselves and not hinge their sense of self worth based on if they can “win” a woman or not. They would learn that interacting with women is not a game to be won but just similar human beings that should be friends first.

– Anonymous

Location: Big city, USA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“It happens all the time, day and night”

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I have been sexually harassed all my life but since I moved from a small village to a city (Stuttgart, Germany), it’s been getting worse. I am the girl-next-door-looking type. I never wear anything revealing.

I can hardly think of a day when I didn’t get any comments about my hair, my eyes, my ass, or whistles from a complete stranger. Some people even try to get really close to me, touch my arm or my hair until I tell them to knock it off and walk away. It only happens when I am alone or with a girl friend. I also had a stalker once who knocked on my window and my door several times and sent me a parcel with sex gadgets.

It makes me feel vulnerable. Like they own me and that they can say whatever they want.

It happens all the time, day and night, and I don’t know how to deal with it.

– CR

Location: Stuttgart, Germany

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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