I’ve been street harassed more times than I could possibly count or recall. Having said that, I need to be very clear about two thing: First, in society, it’s assumed that being “beautiful, sexy, pretty, hot, etc.” is a blessing and should be received with open arms. And two, it’s no hidden secret that individuals with certain “desired characteristics” tend to have more opportunities in social and economic settings. Consequently, it’s widely thought that the first sentiment and the second automatically mean an individual is comfortable with this privilege.

Yes, I’m calling it a privilege because it’s true- aesthetically pleasing people have more given to them. But it’s also true that what is given is NOT always wanted. I have been told on numerous occasions I am so beautiful, that to be shy or awkward when given attention is ludicrous. Honestly, people truly believe that my looks should instill in me a sense of pride and accomplishment. When in reality, I am self-conscious on so many levels because I know no matter what I wear, which type of style I pick for that day, I will be given unwanted attention. Very unwanted attention.

I can honestly say I will be street harassed at least once every week. Generally it happens on the way to and from work, when going to the gym, out buying groceries, going to a sporting event, and getting into my car after dinner. In case you missed it… IT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

For example: just last week I was at Walmart and waiting in the self-checkout line. I only had one item to buy and the man ahead of me had around twenty or so items. When he glanced back at me, saw that I had the one, he told me to go ahead because he would be a while. I said, “thank you” and smiled at his generosity. Little did I know that I was actually being asked to go ahead of him because, in his words, “I had a nice ass and was a fine piece of meat.” I stood there for 30 second while he moaned and whistled under his breathe and said that over and over again. For 30 second I was sexually harassed as I rushed through to get out of the store. I sprinted for my car and got in just in time to breathe.

Can you imagine feeling that way on a regular basis? That’s not a compliment. That’s my personal hell.

– DT

Location: Oklahoma City, OK

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

I was walking home alone after school and a group of men (in their 30’s) had their eyes on me. Luckily there were two boys from my school in front of me so I walked close to them. Then one of the men looked at me and screamed, “WOWZA!”

And I just walked away feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

– Anonymous

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I usually walk my dog at night along the same route. The first time this happened was when I passed this house with my boyfriend beside me. My boyfriend states that he saw three guys at this house. The house was across the street from where I was walking. Once I was directly in the view from their house, one of the men whistled. I ignored it and kept walking. Then, one of them whistled again and all of them started laughing. By this point, I was feeling anger and frustration. It’s been so long since this has happened and the fact that it happened again didn’t make it any better. My boyfriend and I kept walking and I got so fed up by the time I got home.

The second time that this happened was yesterday. Same house and everything. However, this time I was by myself and I only saw one man outside. I was already on the phone with my boyfriend as I came close to the house. Again, once I was in direct view of them, the man whistled, as expected. I ignored it, got frustrated, and told my boyfriend on the phone that he did it again. After the first whistle he decided to call me like I was a freaking dog. He made this sound with his lips, the same sound you would make as if you were trying to call a dog over or just get their attention.

After hearing that sound, I was INFURIATED. I was still on the phone and I decided to tell my boyfriend the address of the house as loud as possible thinking the man would hear. I guess I was trying to “fake report” the situation. As I kept walking, I was so mad at myself for not confronting the man. Honestly, I wanted to go over and just cuss out the guy; but I know that probably wouldn’t be such a good Idea.

Later on, my boyfriend had come by my house to tell me that he actually went to the house and talked to a guy that was sitting outside. I’m not sure if that man he talked to was the guy who whistled at me. My boyfriend had told him that this has been the second time that I was whistled at by the same house and that he and the other men better stop. He told me boyfriend that he “understood” and that he would let the other guys know.

Every time I go for a walk I do get timid and I hope all the time that those men would not be out there when I pass by. However, I’m not going to let that stop me from walking the same route as I always do.

– Ivy

Location: 1821 Paso Real Ave, Rowland Heights, CA 91748

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I work at in Playa Vista, across the street from the Home Depot on Jefferson. Our parking lot is severely overcrowded, so I try to ride my bike in to work when I can. However, when I do have the audacity to ride my bike on a public street, 50% of the time I am catcalled at by day workers who congregate outside of the Home Depot. They whistle, wave, try to say hello, and generally attempt to get my attention. Somehow these men feel entitled to my attention, when all I am trying to do is get in to work.

There’s no alternate route for me to take. I am forced to ignore them, because I know that engaging them could result in threats to my safety or personal harm. This morning I had enough and tried calling the store, I explained the situation politely and was “transferred”, which meant my call was re-routed to an extension that did not exist.

How a company can be so callous about its impact on it’s surrounding community is bewildering to me. Thanks for making Playa Vista a terrible place to be a woman.

– Nicole

Location: Marina Del Rey Home Depot, California

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.