Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

USA: How Does Street Harassment Change Your Daily Behavior?

By

Libby Allnatt, Phoenix, AZ, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

There’s nothing quite like wearing an outfit again for the first time after you were catcalled while wearing it. While street harassment is obviously not about clothing (if it was then women wearing modest or traditionally “unsexy” clothing wouldn’t get harassed, and they do), it can be easy to attach feelings of violation and disgust to the shorts or a top or skirt or dress you were wearing when someone decided to encroach upon your safety and rights as a human.

It can also be difficult to return to places where one was once harassed. That street, that intersection, that park will always be filled with the voices of the ill-mannered, the sexist, and the violent that not-so-silently dot our neighborhoods.

According to Stop Street Harassment’s 2014 statistically significant national survey, street harassment caused 47 percent of women to constantly assess their surroundings. Four percent of all harassment victims made bigger decisions as a result of harassment, like moving neighborhoods or quitting a job.

An informal study by Cornell University and Hollaback! showed that 85 percent of women have taken a different route, 73 percent of women took different forms of transportation, and 70 percent avoid going out at night, all to avoid street harassment.

I personally know how taking public transportation in my city is more arduous than just buying a ticket and hopping on the train. I avoid it if I can, avoid taking it at night, and stare out the window in silence praying that no one speaks to me. I tug my skirt down to cover my legs and clutch my keys. I avoid the bus altogether because of what I’ve heard happen to my peers on there.

What makes me the saddest is the look of panic I see in others’ eyes when a girl says she’s walking home. “Text me as soon as you get there,” they plead, horrific possibilities on everyone’s minds but left unsaid.

“I wanted to go, but I also didn’t want to walk home that late,” is another frequent statement I commonly hear (and say myself) when women are discussing why they avoided a particular event or outing.

Male friends of mine have offered to walk me places at night if they know I’m going somewhere on my own. I always decline, and I’m both reassured by their willingness to help and sad because this is our reality.

Street harassment has emotional and psychological damage, as sexualization of girls and women can lead to depression, anxiety and eating disorders. It makes leaving our homes feel less safe.

Anyone who has been harassed and gone home shaking knows this feeling. Anyone who been harassed on the way to work or school and has to shake it off and act like they didn’t just feel scared for their lives knows this feeling.

Because it’s never just a catcall. It always has the potential to escalate to something much worse, because it has.

My female friends and I adorn our keychains with colorful and sparkly pepper spray, as we try and pretend they’re accessories rather than self-defense weapons. Much to the dismay of my loved ones, I often leave my pepper spray at home. A part of me doesn’t want to admit that we need to be armed to move about in public spaces lest we become another victim, another statistic.

Surely many men often feel frightened at night as well. Many forms of crime, like robbery and assault, don’t discriminate based on gender. But the reality is that sexually-charged threats to bodily autonomy are a different animal to navigate, and usually reserved for women. I don’t know many men who tremble when they hear a shout on their walk home. I don’t know many men who grip their keys between their fingers, trying to determine if they would be capable of gashing out the eyes of someone twice their size if they had to. I don’t many men who alter their daily lives because catcalls, gropes, stalking, and rape are genuine possibilities.

While caution should not be thrown to the wind (I will continue to get the hell out a place where someone is making me feel uncomfortable, and perhaps I will swallow my pride and start carrying my pepper spray), I feel disgusted at a world where women have any burden to bear that men do not.

The other day, I returned to a spot where I was harassed that I had been avoiding for some time. I sat. I took up space. I enjoyed the world around me – the air, the sky, the birds, the city. I won’t let harassers keep me inside, and you shouldn’t either.

Libby is a student at Arizona State University. Originally from Salt Lake City, Utah, she is majoring in journalism with a focus on print and she is minoring in psychology and women’s studies. You can follow her on Twitter @libbyallnattasu and Instagram @LibbyPaigeA.

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UK: “We need men on our side, working alongside us”

By

Michael Conroy

Annabel Laughton, Gloucestershire, UK, SSH Blog Correspondent

This month I had the chance to speak to Michael Conroy, National Coordinator for A CALL TO MEN UK. After hearing from feminist activist Finn Mackay last month about the importance of working with men and boys to challenge and change the culture that continues to allow street harassment and all forms of violence against women to exist, I was keen to find out more about an organisation doing exactly that.

A CALL TO MEN UK was set up in 2011 by Kay Clarke, who after years of working with women survivors of men’s violence began to think about prevention. Conroy got involved when he saw Tony Porter (co-founder of the US based A CALL TO MEN) speak. “I watched a session and thought ‘This is really important work and I should be doing this too!’”, he says.

And the aim is as big as it is important: to create a critical mass of younger men who will no longer uphold the cultural beliefs driving violence and coercive behaviour. This will be a “tipping point”, Conroy says, which will enable the shrinking of the spaces where misogyny flourishes and allow healthier norms to become embedded. The organisation works towards this goal in a variety of clever ways, focusing on “creating opportunities for creative, challenging dialogues with boys and young men around what it means to be a man and how some of the messages we receive can be really harmful, not just to women and girls, but also to ourselves as men.”

One example is the FreeUp programme which starts “the kind of conversations that just don’t happen often enough – about porn, consent, objectification, autonomy, the rules of the ‘manbox’ and how we as males sometimes police each other by invoking rules of masculinity”.

Ingeniously, A CALL TO MEN UK trains staff already working with groups of boys and young men, people they already trust, to deliver the programme. This can include teachers, social workers, Family Support workers or sports coaches, and has the added benefit of educating staff in these settings, which helps to secure the values of the training as part of the ethos in these organisations.

And does street harassment get covered in these programmes with young men? Absolutely.

“Our programmes involve a close look at objectifying practices, which include street harassment, cat-calling, unwanted comments and sexualising behaviour. We unpick the belief system that makes it seem ok to behave in that way. Our analysis, which is clear in our programme, explicitly links that kind of abusive behaviour to the rules of the ‘manbox’, by which men have to – or at least feel empowered to – publicly prove their heterosexuality and by which they believe women are of lesser value and in effect the property, particularly sexual property, of men.” Conroy goes on to say that the programmes also tackle victim blaming, which is “probably part of most street-harassers’ stock script”.

The programmes help boys and men to realise that their actions are their responsibility, and theirs alone.

The programmes Conroy coordinates do not shy away from big questions, and seek to be part of huge and fundamental changes in the way men are socialised, and their self-image. “At the core is a need to un-believe in gender myths and delegitimise the permissions they offer and restrictions that they place on us, unequally, as men and women. Beyond our bodies there is no set of features, attributes, characteristics or interests that we can say are male or female, although centuries of history lie heavily upon our personal and collective consciousness and can persuade some that sex roles are innate.  Masculinity and femininity are harmful constructs that we need to urgently debunk for the sake of men and women whose lives are affected by their strictures.”

He’s also unequivocal in one practical way men can create far reaching change in society: at home, by doing an equal share of housework and childcare. “That unsung and unsexy stuff is all too often overlooked but if we can’t or won’t do that, then what hope for the ‘big’ stuff?”

Learning about this fantastic organisation reminds me again how much we need male allies to be part of our fight against street harassment, against sexism, misogyny and patriarchy itself. We need men on our side, working alongside us and taking the message to those who will not hear us, and we need to hold men to account – including those many, many good and decent men who still believe that misogyny is not their fight and thus stay silent.

Annabel is involved in campaigns for human rights, mental health, environmental issues and social justice. She has an honours degree in Classical Studies, a diploma in counselling, and works in Higher Education.

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USA: What About the Catcallers Who ‘Aren’t that Bad’?

By

Libby Allnatt, Phoenix, AZ, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Photo via Pixabay

One of the first reactions I ever received when talking about an incident of street harassment was one that many women are likely familiar with: “He was just complimenting you.”

It’s been said before, but it bears repeating: street harassment is not a compliment.

I can honestly say I have never felt even an ounce of flattery by a man trying to violate my space or hollering approval of my body from across the street. Excuse me for not swooning as a man follows me down the street and calls me a bitch.

But about the men who mean well, the ones who give you space, the ones who are really just trying to be friendly?

Is there such a thing?

This is something I’ve been struggling with lately as a feminist and anti-street harassment advocate.

The other day, a young man approached me as my sister and I were shopping on a popular local street. “I just wanted to let you know you’re very beautiful.”

He proceeded to reach out for a hand shake. I gave him one awkwardly, said thank you, then walked away.

My sister and I laughed. “Does that happen a lot?” she asked.

Surprisingly, it does. A few months ago a young man about my age approached me while I was waiting at a train stop.

“I just wanted to let you know you’re very pretty,” he said. “Have a good day.”

Pleasantly relieved (I’ve come to expect much worse when approached in public) I said thank you and walked away. I was torn: I still didn’t like being approached, but this gentleman was friendly for the most part, and he didn’t ask for anything else but a hello.

As bad as it may sound, the age factor also makes a difference. This young man looked about my age and was generally respectful, which frankly feels less predatory than a man who could be my grandpa following me around and drooling at my exposed legs. (Especially because many of my older harassers have specifically expressed arousal at my young age and appearance.)

But are these really so different?

I even laughed along once when passing a group of guys on my college campus who jokingly swooned and dramatically tried to flirt with me as I walked by. I later felt torn at how I laughed off their reactions. They weren’t disrespectful, and they were trying to be funny about the whole thing, but what had I just condoned by showing any amusement at all at their behavior?

I would like to express that I would likely be considered average in appearance, and I do not by any means intend to convey a sense of “Oh I’m just so beautiful and men are crawling at my feet. It’s so hard.” Truth be told I think these “nice” guys would approach any female. In addition, even these “compliments” never make me feel good, per se.

First and foremost, street harassment is not about making the woman feel good. If it was, the harasser wouldn’t be doing it. It’s violating, uncomfortable and often downright dangerous.

If a catcall has ever made you feel good about yourself, don’t feel bad. Just know that many women don’t have the same experience as you. Maybe you didn’t feel degraded or threatened, but many women do, and that’s reason enough to put a stop to it.

Isn’t that what feminism is all about? Helping women in situations very different from our own?

Believe it or not, we would like to move about in public spaces without men looking us up and down, judging, evaluating, and approving (or disapproving.)

Besides, we don’t need a self-esteem boost from harassers. Let’s get our value from our work, our kindness, our talent, our brilliance, our compassion and not from a man standing on the street corner yelling obscenities about our asses.

In addition, street harassment often involves more complex forms of layered oppression, with LGBTQ+ individuals and women of color experiencing even more aggressive forms of the phenomenon, which demonstrates how harassment is often used as a tool of prejudice.

The bottom line is, even if a man is truly just trying to be friendly, there’s still a sense of entitlement that their opinion matters, and that they have the ability to make you feel good with their approval. Although I appreciate the friendliness (and I’m often grateful when the situation doesn’t escalate and the dude leaves me be— kind of sad, huh?), the implications of complimenting women on their looks in public is just a little too in line with the patriarchy for me to be comfortable with.

The message is still the same: This is our space, and you’re in it.

So that guy who approached me and shook my hand may have stopped to pay me a compliment and then simply moved on with his life.

But he still held onto my hand for a little too long.

And I still didn’t like it.

Libby is a student at Arizona State University. Originally from Salt Lake City, Utah, she is majoring in journalism with a focus on print and she is minoring in psychology and women’s studies. You can follow her on Twitter @libbyallnattasu and Instagram @LibbyPaigeA.

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Romania: A March Month Full of Potential!

By

Simona-Maria Chirciu, Bucharest, Romania, SSH Blog Correspondent

Picture by Lulian Pojar

March is the first month of Spring and it means change and the rebirth of nature and other good things and good vibes. Even though I am having a very, very bad cold, I had the great opportunity to talk about sexual violence, consent in relationships and street harassment at some events and to meet young people determined to do something about street harassment this month. So, I didn’t have to wait for International Week against Street Harassment (April 2-8) to get things started!

Many times I feel kind of lonely in this fight against street harassment because in Romania there are so many problems regarding gender-based violence and human rights fight in general, so activists are trying to do their best on what hurts us the most: domestic violence (which is a BIG problem in our country) so they are burned out when it comes to other forms of violence like street harassment. But sometimes, like in this month, I feel so good because people are writing to me about their wish to get involved or congratulating me for doing alone this hard job.

On 7th and 8th March, the only NGO fighting for Roma women’ s rights in Romania  – E-Romnja Association (www.e-romnja.ro) organized a nice event on intersectional feminism and invited me to hold a workshop about sexual violence, the importance of consent and sexual harassment. The attendees were Roma women from Roma communities in Romania and human rights activists. It was again an interesting occasion to question my position as a white feminist activists and to see how can I present important information about gender-based violence but without hard or academic concepts because traditional and vulnerable women may not understand this ”high” language.

Gender-based violence is a problem affecting women across all the country. Roma women are more vulnerable than non-Roma women because they are very discriminated in the Romanian society. Authorities (especially Police and politicians) are ignoring them because their way of thinking about Roma minority is full of negative stereotypes so their actions are most of the time against Roma minority human rights so E-Romnja Association is trying to empower Roma women to find their voice and to speak up and out about discrimination and violence.

After this, I was invited to a radio station – Bucuresti FM  (Bucharest FM) to talk about International Week against Street Harassment. The show was live on the radio and online as well. I was so excited to see that there are people interested in this matter. The hosts were a woman and a man and they were so kind and truly interested about street harassment. I talked about how street harassment looks like in Romania, why this is a form of violence, what we can do about it and what I’ve planned for the big event in April.

One day after the talk at the radio station, I had a very interesting meeting with nine students from Computer Science University from Bucharest. The meeting was organized by my colleagues from ANAIS Association – a NGO helping domestic violence victims, they were the ones informing me about this meeting and asked me to get involved as I am a researcher and activist on street harassment. I said, “Wow! This is sooo nice!”

The final-year students want to create a mobile application where people can put their testimonials about street harassment experiences and a pin on a virtual map. The conversation with them was a nice one. I asked one of the male students why they are interested in this topic and he said that he knows this is happening on a daily basis and that this is so wrong. So, in the next weeks I will support them to create this online application. I’m so excited and grateful for being able to help them in this process.

Moreover, I set up a meeting for 25th of March with people from Bucharest interested in getting involved in International Week against Street Harassment to see what they want to do together between 2-8 of April.

It’s such a nice life to be an activist even though is hard but when you see your efforts are creating something that in time is getting bigger and bigger, every struggle seems much easier. I am happy seeing young people getting more interested in this matter so I think that the the International Week against Street Harassment this year (is the fourth year doing this in Bucharest, yeey!) will be a nice way to link people together and to bring more awareness on street harassment!

I know everyone can do a tiny action to bring awareness and to help creating safe public spaces for everyone so I hope people will get involved this year also! So let the preparations begin!

Simona-Marie is a Ph.D. Student in Political Sciences, working on a thesis on gender-based street harassment in Romania. She is an activist and organizes numerous public actions (marches, flash-mobs, protests) against sexual violence and street harassment against women. Now she is part of an working-group trying to improve by public policies the situation of young homeless people in Romania. You can find her on Facebook.

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Northern Ireland: How Do We Best React to Street Harassment?

By

Elaine Crory, Belfast, Northern Ireland, SSH Blog Correspondent

2016 street harassment themed mural in Brooklyn, NY

I’ve written at length about the damaging long-term implications of street harassment; about how it hurts the self esteem of women and girls and encourages the idea that public space belongs to men. It teaches us at a young and impressionable age that we should expect to receive comments on our appearance, be they positive or negative, when out in public. It teaches us to feel scared and ashamed when we are yelled at, followed or groped by men rather than to feel defiant and angry.

In the spirit of International Women’s Day’s 2017 theme Be Bold for Change, I want to look at some of the positive steps individual women and activist groups have taken to challenge the assumptions that allow street harassment to continue, and to suggest some ways that we can try to dismantle rape culture altogether and boldly change the rotten structures that hold it up.

Over the past decade, technology has advanced a great deal. Smartphones mean that most people have excellent cameras to hand at all times, and internet access at the touch of a button. When Hollaback! was originally conceived it was intended primarily as a way for women to share their stories and to gain strength from the expression of solidarity from others who “have your back”. Women were encouraged to snap photos, if they felt confident enough, and to challenge their harassers verbally.

Soon the word spread and it became clear that street harassment was an international phenomena with many regional quirks which allowed for responses as diverse and inventive as the women who experienced it. Women began to use social media to spread stories and share ideas, and a number of different groups sprang up, including our own Stop Street Harassment, with the aim of spreading resistance and standing up to the tired narrative that tried to convince us that it is all a harmless joke.

Individual women have spoken of how freeing it is to challenge harassers peacefully but forcefully, to put them in the spot and demand that they account for their behaviour – which, invariably they cannot – and how it becomes clear in doing so that what has happened is not their fault. Victim blaming is one of the decaying planks upon which the whole structure of rape culture rests, and challenging that has proven again and again to be a powerful antidote to the power of street harassment. In India a project by Blank Noise called I Never Ask for It collects stories and images of what women were wearing when they were harassed or sexually assaulted, the mundanity of the clothing giving the lie to the old excuse. Jezebel conducted an informal survey of circumstances in which women had endured harassment, and the variety is both impressive and proof positive that is is not about what we wear or where we go. The point of these exercises, more than anything else, seems to be to prove to ourselves and to society generally, that victim blaming will not wash. And there is power in that, in saying “no, this is all in you”.

What next, though? This list is endless and growing, a testament to the creativity and dedication of activists all over the world.

All of these actions are positive, confronting harassment directly in an active way. They challenge behaviour and help to put power back in our hands.

But the root causes of street harassment remain, and far too many people fail to understand why it is wrong. So the problem persists across generations. But it does not have to. When a number of universities introduced mandatory consent classes a significant number of young men reacted angrily, as though an understanding of consent and appropriate behaviour was simply innate and did not have to be taught. I would argue that this reaction demonstrates just how deeply rape culture has permeated, and shows that we have reached many of these young people too late. Comprehensive and compulsory sex and relationship education (SRE) that covers sexist attitudes and treatment of women in public space as well as in interpersonal relationships would go a long way towards preventing these harmful ideas from taking root to start with.

Let’s start where the problem starts. If the timbers that hold up rape culture are rotten, let’s replace them with some new planks fit to hold up confident, respectful and responsible relationships between all humans. Let’s be bold for change.

Elaine is a part-time politics lecturer and a mother of two. She is director of Hollaback! Belfast, co-organises the city’s annual Reclaim the Night march, and volunteers with Belfast Feminist Network and Alliance for Choice to campaign for a broad range of women’s issues.

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