Earlier this week, I explained my internship with Stop Street Harassment to a male friend. He immediately asked me, “What is street harassment?” I explained that it can include, but is not limited to, honks, whistles, crude comments, uncomfortable leering, or even unwanted physical contact. I expected some sort of heartfelt response. Instead, he surprised me by asking, “So that stuff actually happens?”At first I was mildly annoyed because I assumed that he was being condescending. However, as the conversation continued, I came to a sudden realization: he had no idea what I was talking about.
This was not the first time that I’ve had to explain what street harassment is to a man. However, it took me until this conversation to realize why men do not understand it. Aside from individuals in the LGBQT community, women are experiencing the majority of street harassment. Harassment in public spaces is simply not an obstacle that the average man has to face in his daily life. For that reason alone, I cannot expect every man to fully understand how often this harassment occurs or the humiliation that accompanies it.
I still keep finding myself returning to that guy’s question, “So that stuff actually happens?” It makes me recall how I reacted to my own experiences with street harassment. After an incident, I would confide in either my sister, my mom, or my female friends. Never once did I approach my dad, boyfriend, brother-in-law, or male friends about what I had experienced. For some reason, I only found myself sharing these stories in hushed tones among other women. I did this partially because I knew that the women around me had similar experiences. It was cathartic to vent with them about the jerks that whistled and yelled. I also did this because I never wanted to make the men in my life worry about my safety. Perhaps this is another reason why some men remain blissfully unaware of street harassment. It’s possible that we’re keeping them out the loop.
For the benefit of everyone, we must break free from our inhibitions. We need to bring harassment out from hushed female circles, instead sharing with all loved ones, both women and men. Ladies, if you have a brush with street harassment, consider sharing your experience with a man. Let him know that it happens. Let him know that it is degrading, intolerable, and terrifying. You will be doing him a favor by letting him relate to the women in his life that much more. It doesn’t matter if he is your father, brother, son, boyfriend, husband, friend, or a kind stranger. Whoever he is, your encounter with harassment will enlighten him.
Yes, some men out there are jerks who contribute to the problem, but always remember that there are an even greater number of wonderful male allies that are part of the solution, as well. Unless you tell them, the men in your life will not know that someone they care about has experienced street harassment. Just give them a chance to help you fight back.
Kendra Corbin is senior at Shenandoah University. She is majoring in Mass Communications and minoring in Women’s Studies.
