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“Then he asked if I was married”

November 9, 2014 By Contributor

For all the men out there asking why we women are so hesitant to engage in “friendly conversation” or why we can’t just “be polite” or “acknowledge compliments,” here’s why:

I stopped by the grocery store on my way home from work the other day, around 4 or 5 in the afternoon.  I was perusing the freezer aisle trying to determine which variety of French fries to buy.  My three-year-old daughter was with me, riding in the cart.

A man next to me was also looking through the various offerings of frozen fries, and asked me the difference between steak cut and thick cut.  I said I wasn’t sure.  He mentioned something about how he was a horrible cook and didn’t know how to make anything.  I told him it wasn’t that hard and that I’d found lots of good, easy recipes online.  (For f*ck’s sake dude, they’re frozen fries.  You dump out the bag on a tray and put it in the oven; it’s not rocket science.)

He asked if I liked cooking.  I replied I did; it’s fun to be creative with food & ingredients.

Then he asked if I was married.  I said no, I wasn’t, but that I didn’t see how that had to do with anything.  He proceeds to tell me how he owns 18 different international properties, is worth millions, and something about how well he’d take care of me and how I wouldn’t have to work anymore.  Wow.  WITH AN OFFER LIKE THAT FROM A TOTAL STRANGER, WHO COULD REFUSE?!?!!!!!  Then he expressed his frustration about how hard it was to get dates these days.  I told him to work on that skill called “feeding oneself independently,” and got the f*ck out of there with my fries.

I’d really like my daughter to grow up in a world where she can make grocery-store small talk without getting badgered about marital status in front of her kids someday.  Here’s to hoping.

– Greta

Location: Food City supermarket, Phoenix Arizona

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“I’m not even sorry about it.”

November 8, 2014 By Contributor

A few years ago on Halloween I went to the street party downtown in my costume. Two men grabbed my ass and others called out lewd comments. Then a woman grabbed my ass and say she just wanted to tell me how beautiful I was. She said, “I’m not even sorry about it.”

I felt so demeaned and disgusted by all of these actions. I felt bad about myself from all the negative attention. I left after an hour of being there. It ruined my entire night.

– Anonymous

Location: Santa Cruz, Ca (Pacific st.)

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

USA: Flash Mob Against Harassment on the CTA

November 7, 2014 By Correspondent

Sarah Colomé , IL, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Cold air, don’t care. Chicago’s time honored tradition of social protest reared its glorious head on Wednesday, November 5th, sparking public conversation about street harassment on the Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) train system. Bridging passion, activism, and love of music, members of the Courage Campaign: CTA claimed a section of the Red Line as their own, breaking into a flash mob advocating public safety awareness.

Members of the Courage Campaign: CTA take a quick selfie before the flash mob begins.

Commonly referred to as the “el” or “L” the city of Chicago houses the second largest mass transit system in the country, according to the American Public Transportation Association. With an annual ridership of 229.12 million on the train system alone, in person contact — whether consensual or not — is a frequent reality for those who depend on public transportation in the city.

Frustrated with the lived realities of so many who traverse the transit system each day, Courage Campaign: CTA founder Kara Crutcher decided to take action in order to address these stories of harassment. “I’ve experience and heard horror stories from tons of people taking the CTA,” Crutcher explains on the campaign’s Facebook page.  ”Commuters have been physically, sexually and verbally abused on the CTA, and it’s unacceptable. Everything begins with awareness.” 

Awareness was to be had, and in droves when Crutcher and other Courage Campaign participants exploded into their flash mob. Using an adaption of Aretha Franklin’s timeless song “Respect,” the group swapped in the word “courage” for “respect,” ending with the call to action: “We have the courage to stop harassment on the CTA – do you?”

Watching the video, we see the scene open with a young man incessantly hitting on a young woman before the mob broke into their courage song.

Crutcher explains, “The best part was seeing how uncomfortable everyone was initially – and no one said anything.” Noting several reactions, she noticed people seeing the exchange, shifting uncomfortably, and looking around, but many clapped in support at the end of the skit.

Partnering with a photographer, among other campaign members, the concept of a flash mob was derived on the premise that the action would “be helpful in pushing this project forward,” particularly after seeing the popularity of a similar flash mob done by the Lion King cast on a New York subway in early August. As a dancer in college, Crutcher knows the power of performance.

Produced as collaborative effort, the flash mob finished each of the performances by providing campaign flyers, hoping to entice more support and awareness about the campaign, and the issue of harassment overall. The flyers included actions items, contact information and the campaign’s logo, which serves as a sort of homage to the city of Chicago. Hoping to gain momentum from civic pride Crutcher explains, “I think that is what will make this strong – people are so loyal [to this city.]”

For more information on Courage Campaign: CTA or to contribute to their cause, visit their Facebook page, and follow them on Twitter at @CourageCTA.

Sarah is a progress-focused educator and advocate dedicated to building strategic coalitions centered on creating social change who serves as an adjunct professor in DePaul University’s Peace, Justice and Conflict Studies department. You can follow her updates on Linkedin or hear her perspectives on Twitter.

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Filed Under: Activist Interviews, correspondents, public harassment

Important Videos about Street Harassment

November 6, 2014 By HKearl

Each day over the past several days there have been scores of articles about #streetharassment as well as critiques of the Hollaback! viral video released last week. Some people have said, where is the viral video about women of color?

Well, while none of these videos have gone viral yet, there are LOTS of existing videos that have been made by women of color or are about women of color’s experiences. Unfortunately, almost no one has mentioned them in the various articles I’ve read; it’s as if no videos on street harassment ever existed before the one released last week. But they do and they matter. 

And wouldn’t it be great if some of these did go viral? You can help by watching and sharing them. And of course you can always make your own!

Girls for Gender Equity’s Hey… Shorty! documentary

Nuala Cabral’s video Walking Home that even has a discussion guide.

Nuala’s group FAAN Mail has done a few more videos, including this one with teenage girls about things men have said to them and people’s stories from their soapbox event in Philadelphia in April 2014 for International Anti-Street Harassment Week.

Tracey Rose’s Black Woman Walking

Charla Harlow’s short interviews about street harassment with persons of color

Sydnie Mosely’s work on street harassment through The Window Sex Project

Here are some of her dances.

Women in San Jose share their stories

Women in the Bronx share their stories.

The Saartjie Project’s street theater

Thee Kats Meoww’s video on street harassment

Back Up! Concrete Diaries by Nijla Mumin and Monique Hazeur

The Queer Women of Color Media Arts Project’s video “Hollering Back”

Safiya Washington and Kai Davis of the Philly Youth Poetry Movement perform their poem “Stares” in Philadelphia

The Chicago Free Spirit Media teen youth’s video

DC activist Dienna Howard speaking about her experiences of street harassment as a Black woman.

Earlier this year, Dienna made her own documentary about street harassment and activism in DC.

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Filed Under: race, Resources, street harassment

UK: Victim-blaming poster needs to go!

November 6, 2014 By HKearl

The Manchester police department is behind this poster targeted at college students. While the poster was created a while ago, it is finally receiving much-warranted attention/criticism.

Via The Tab:

“A third year Art History student was fuming from seeing this poster after recent events: “Everyone is terrified for their own safety after the rape in Fallowfield, and this is the last thing we want to hear.

“What the hell were they thinking?! Trying to suggest that we’re asking to get raped/mugged/attacked is disgusting and insensitive.

“The uni and the police should be trying to help and support us at this time, not rudely suggesting that it’s our own fault.”

“It’s so out dated” a second year Linguistics student told The Tab. “It’s like they’re trying to be ‘down with the kids’.”

Shocked students took so social media to express their outrage, branding the poster “bad taste”.

One student on Facebook sarcastically remarked: “I, for one, am very glad that I’ve seen this poster.

“I didn’t realise that wearing a thong makes it easier for people to steal my things. I will wear more clothing in the future!””

H/T Elizabeth Plank

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Filed Under: News stories, public harassment

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SSH will not publish any comment that is offensive or hateful and does not add to a thoughtful discussion of street harassment. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, disabalism, classism, and sexism will not be tolerated. Disclaimer: SSH may use any stories submitted to the blog in future scholarly publications on street harassment.
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