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“So you’re a cougar.”

November 21, 2013 By Contributor

Not “street” harassment specifically as this took place in a restaurant.

My mother and I decided to go grab an appetizer somewhere. We had a completely fabulous time and right when we were thinking of leaving an older gentleman invited us to sit with him and his co-workers at his table. I figured why not? My mom’s single and he appeared to be interested in her so we did.

We get to his table and are introduced to his friendly co-workers and hang out and chat for a little bit when he begins insulting my mom. I’m embarrassed that I was so shocked that I hardly even responded to him.

The first sign of trouble was when he turns to me and says something about my mom being 52 years old. I told him he was aiming a little high and then I asked, well how old are you? He was disinclined to respond so I joked that perhaps it was a rude question and he agreed that it was…? Oh well, I figure.

Somehow we go from this to him bluntly and loudly asking my mom, “So what are you, 52?” and then he states, “So you’re a cougar.” My mom and I looked at each other like, “WTF?” I did my best to play it off for the benefit of everyone at the table, but I really really wish I had just called him on being so rude and had left right then and there. At this point it was obvious his poor co-workers were like, why the eff are we hanging out with his guy? Oh and at one point he tried to say that she was a cougar even if she was potentially interested in HIM. Yeah! HIM! THE OLDER EFFING GUY. His explanation was that he’s ONLY 46…? So in this guy’s mind somehow the woman he assumes is 52 (she’s 49) is a cougar because she’s potentially interested in a 46 year old??

Eventually one of the co-workers just suddenly gets up to leave so we obviously do too and apparently this guy took the opportunity of us waiting for our coats to KISS my mother. What in the…? She was so shocked and confused she didn’t even tell me until later. I wish she had slapped him!

What a creep. I think now that I’ve experienced this I will be more willing to call out this kind of behavior. I regret having responded so politely, but at least I erred on the side of caution.

– Anonymous

Location: A fancy restaurant

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Community Harassment

November 21, 2013 By Contributor

I am a victim of Community Harassment ” we call our selves, ” Targeted individuals. ”

Many women are on a community watch list and are being “flash Mob” at random, work placed bullied and stalked by numerous people. I was wondering how many people are aware that this is going on. I was unaware of this type of community harassment until I ran in to a web site that described it . I just attributed all the things that was happening to me and my family to bad luck . If anyone is not aware of this , please google “targeted individuals and get the word out. This is a crime against women and humanity.

– Anonymous

Location: Maryland

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Three Dating Commercial Spoofs

November 20, 2013 By HKearl

Stop Street Harassment’s 2013 Safe Public Spaces Mentoring site in Chicago, led by Phaydra Babinchok, created three short videos this fall to spoof dating commercials…. and how ridiculous it is to believe street harassers are trying to create long-term relationships with their actions.

They premiered the videos at an event in Chicago last month – recap blog post coming soon – and now the videos are online!

Which one is your favorite?

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Filed Under: Resources, SSH programs, street harassment

“Let’s do whatever we can to stop this”

November 20, 2013 By Contributor

I was at the grocery store today checking out, and chatting all the while with the clerk. I slid my card to pay, and it didn’t go through, so the clerk told me to “slide it again.” The man behind me in line–who I had barely noticed until then–interrupted my conversation with the clerk to say “ha slide it again–I bet you’ve heard that one before.” I was speechless and really couldn’t believe if I had heard right. I didn’t engage at all, and I think the clerk was just as surprised as I was. I walked away with a disgusted, slightly embarrassed, and ugh feeling, all the while knowing there was no reason I needed to feel that way.

Thanks for letting me air it out here. Let’s do whatever we can to stop this kind of junk from happening to others.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

City/community government sponsored panel/roundtable discussions. Outreach to elementary, middle, and high schools. Outreach to men’s groups in the community. Speak at local service organizations (like Rotary) and nonprofits about this issue.

– Anonymous

Location: Safeway

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Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Truck driver harasser

November 20, 2013 By Contributor

Biking home from work at night. It’s cold so I’m bundled up. Right after crossing the street someone calls out “nice ass” from the window of his truck.

– Anonymous

Location: 2nd East, Rexburg, Idaho

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Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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SSH will not publish any comment that is offensive or hateful and does not add to a thoughtful discussion of street harassment. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, disabalism, classism, and sexism will not be tolerated. Disclaimer: SSH may use any stories submitted to the blog in future scholarly publications on street harassment.
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