Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

No means no, even when they’re toddlers

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A few people have alerted me to this video of toddlers and you can watch as a little boy hugs a little girl multiple times and each time he does, she pushes him away. A few of the times, he seems to be prompted to continue by the person with the camera. It’s a full two minutes and nothing changes – he hugs her, she pushes him away, he gets up and hugs her again and she pushes him away again.

Clearly this isn’t street harassment because they know each other and it isn’t sexual harassment because they’re toddlers and don’t have an understanding of all that, but it is a problematic situation in which adults are standing by and letting (encouraging?) this little boy to do something the girl doesn’t want him to do and then instead of helping her use her words to tell him to stop, they’re letting her push him down over and over.

The Good Men Project linked to the video via the How to Be a Dad’s site, where the author labels the post “My Life with Women” and writes, “This one symbolizes every attempt I’ve ever made at relationships with the fairer sex… …. …. until my wife.”

The he writes, “I could be the misogynist here and make some comments about just how badly the lady little treats this fine, young man, but women are pretty great. Maybe this kid needs to get a job, buy a sweet ride (Power Wheels, perhaps?) and learn some Karate, proving himself a worthy love interest?”

And I find that very problematic. Implying that this little toddler and all women who reject men are stuck-up, bitchy, and only after good-looking or rich men is harmful. Instead of looking at the actions and saying, this girl doesn’t want to be hugged, they are focusing on the poor boy and how mean she is. She may have 10 reasons or only 1 for why she doesn’t want to be hugged by him and all of them are valid and should be respected.

No means no, even when you’re a toddler. Especially when you’re a toddler. Fifteen percent of sexual assault and abuse victims are under age 12. Teaching kids how to protect themselves at a very young age is crucial to helping them know how to prevent or get help if they are victimized and can teach them skills they can use all of their life.

This attitude that women owe men attention no matter what contributes to how, when some men are ignored or rejected by the women they harass on the street, they call them a bitch, a ho, throw trash at them, chase them, or tell them they were ugly anyway. Instead of thinking logically about all the reasons why a woman may not respond positively to a man who hollers at her on the street, men feel it is an affront on their masculinity and lash out.

Another problematic aspect of the video is the number of people who applauded how persistent the kid is. Some people in the comments of posts talked about being disappointed he never got her in the end. Guess what, you don’t always “get the girl” in the end. No means no! 1,006,970 women and 370,990 men are stalked annually in the U.S. We need to teach kids, especially boys because they are the bulk of the stalkers, not to follow or keep hugging etc women and girls who clearly don’t want that attention.

So those are my thoughts on the video, what are yours?

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“Over it”: Responses to Street Harassment at San Jose State University

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This mural, created in San Jose, California, says: “We Are Over It. End the Rape Culture, Break the Silence, Celebrate All Genders.”


During the spring semester, San Jose State University’s Women’s Resource Center did a lot to address gender violence. They created the mural above, they put on a production of the Vagina Monologues, they created a Tunnel of Oppression (800 people walked through it) and they created the fabulous videos posted below.

Women’s Resource Center Intern Yan Yin told me via email, “There are a multitude of issues we are over with – from the gender binary to homophobia to sexual harassment and assault, and the rape culture.  We are grateful for all the people that collaborated with us to produce the pieces.”

From street harassment to rape, from campus sexual harassment to sex trafficking, you can spend all day and night being outraged and upset. It’s great to see communities come together to channel that outrage and speak out and demand an end to gender violence they way the community at SJSU did. Keep up the great work, SJSU!

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“It made me feel unsafe in my small town”

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I was out on my jog when I noticed a black car drive by really slow. I didn’t think much of it, not until the same black car started following me. Who ever it was revved up their engine as they would pass me. Then he would double back and do it again. He doubled back to follow me five times. It made me feel unsafe in my small town.

–   Anonymous

Location: Ashland, Nebraska

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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Renewed Efforts to Pass Egyptian Anti-Sexual Harassment Law

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Before the Egyptian Revolution in early 2011, a law against sexual harassment – including the sexual harassment that happens in the streets – was making its way through the Egyptian Parliament. Since the Revolution, not much has happened, though activists have continued to bring attention to the widespread problem of sexual harassment and street harassment and continue to advocate for a law.

In exciting news, this week, Egypt’s liberal Free Egyptians Party (FEP) declared its support for an anti-sexual harassment law.

Via Al Arabiya News:

“According to the report, the party condemned in a statement the ‘shameful stance of the female parliament members of the Freedom and Justice Party (FJP), who stand against a woman’s right to defend herself and refuse to condemn the man who assaulted the woman and only blame the society and the woman, who is the victim.’

Two-thirds of the Egyptian women experience sexual harassment on a daily basis, according to a 2008 statistics published by the Egyptian Center for Women’s Rights.

FEP member Mina Mounir was quoted as saying that the party supports women in their fight against sexual harassment ‘which became widespread in Egyptian society and must be combated, through community outreach, and encouraging citizens to be positive and not allow harassment of girls in the street, or public transportation.’

On Saturday, the FEP took part in a protest organized by women’s rights organizations in central Cairo against the sexual harassment phenomenon.”

Good! And tomorrow evening, hundreds of people will gather together to speak out against sexual harassment in Cairo. Via their Facebook event page:

“We are a group of Egyptian initiatives and activists supporting Egyptian Women’s full right to access public spaces such as streets, transport freely and safely.  It’s evident now that sexual harassment has become a painful daily reality, threatening our lives. Through our campaign “Nefsy” or “I aspire” we hope to reflect our aspirations; our campaign is inspired from our daily personal experiences.

The first activity of this campaign will be conducting “Salasel” which is simply gathering and standing next to each other each one with a message this message carries an aspiration to the streets of Cairo. we have chosen Wednesday May 16th to be our first (yet not the last) action come and invite your friends- men and women are welcome.”

If you’re in Cairo, I hope you can join them. Everyone deserves a life that is free from sexual harassment and sexual violence.

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From A Manifatso

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After dealing with countless instances of discrimination and humiliation because of her size, blogger Lunette wrote A Manifatso, saying,

“I’ve been waiting to hear someone tell me what, as a fat person, I ought to be able to rely on, and what’s reaching too far, taking too much.  When am I reasonable?  When am I greedy, angry, insatiable?  I kept expecting to see some kind of fatty bill of rights that someone else would make, so it would feel official—more real than anything I could create.  But in a world where those affirmations don’t exist, we must create them for ourselves and one another. So I’m starting that list here.  This is what I’ve needed to hear, but it’s not everything.  I hope you’ll add more in the comments.”

And here is a very relevant, articulate excerpt from A Manifatso:

“We have the right to walk down the street without being met with glares, stares, verbal harassment or physical assault.  And we retain those same rights in restaurants, gyms, job interviews, and our day-to-day lives.  We have the right to the anxiety and hurt that results from this treatment, and we have the right to let it go.”

Amen.

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