Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Do you have a “go-to” phrase you use when you’re harassed?

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Please share it in the comments.

If you don’t have a go-to response, that’s okay! It’s not necessary. But if you’re like me and often find yourself stunned to silence by harassers, a go-to phrase can be really useful.

So if you’re looking for a response you can practice and give without thinking twice, you may find a conversation that occurred yesterday on the Stop Street Harassment Facebook page helpful.

Stop Street Harassment: Do you have a go-to phrase when dealing with harassers?

Mine is, “Don’t harass women.” I like it because I can say it quickly and it applies to any situation. Plus the phrase allows me to identify the behavior and tell them not to do it and I feel like I’m standing up not only for myself but for all women who are harassed!

1. mine has become, “you can’t talk to women like that. you have no right to harass anyone. it’s gross.”

2. It depends on the context, obviously, but I’m a big fan of just yelling ‘NOT A COMPLIMENT’ or ‘NOT FLATTERED’. Also short and gets the point across.

3. Do you always walk with it in your hand – used this one a couple of times in Hindi

4.  Mine’s a little more….direct. Two words- the second word’s ‘off’.

5. i’ve said, “don’t talk to me like that,” “i didn’t walk by for your pleasure.” i want to start saying, “would you talk to your mama that way?” but i think talking about someone’s mama could get a little tricky in certain situations. oh, and my favorite finger.

6. no i don’t.my response depends on the situation and how i am feeling.

7. Mine is “go ___ yourself”. I change it to “leave me the f’ alone” if the situation is more precarious. With either, you must have a total ‘don’t f with me’ attitude to pull it off. I do.

8. I said this to a man once: He told me to smile and I said “stop harassing women.” He said – “I’m gay!” I should have asked him if being gay means it is impossible for him to treat women in a condescending way.

9. I sometimes say “Don’t talk to me (or look at me) like that – I don’t like it.”

10. “Effing perv” seems to be my standby, in the loudest voice I can lay my vocal chords to.

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Togo’s: Reconsider your ad trivializing street harassment

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Two weeks ago, Dr. Wendy Stock wrote a guest blog post about an offensive ad for Togo’s sandwich shop. The ad trivializes street harassment and and the way some men flash women just to scare or upset them. Dr. Stock did more than just write a blog post, she wrote to Togo’s to let them know that she isn’t okay with the ad.

Here is Dr. Stock’s letter, you can contact them, too (I just did!):

Sent to Togos, 11/5/11

This regards your new TV ad featuring a cartoon sandwich that flashes two cartoon women.  Please forward this info to Renae Scott, your VP of marketing. This so-called “edgy” approach is not innocuous – it trivializes the fear women feel from street harassment, including flashers (exhibitionists). Thirty percent of exhibitionists also commit acts of direct sexual violence against women. Making this a humorous subject wears down women’s ability to object, resist, and to stand up to this form of sexual harassment.

Here is the link to the study reporting the 30 percent figure: http://www.jaapl.org/content/34/3/349.full.  I have posted a blog online about your ad, having received no response to my initial email to Togo ‘s or my phone call earlier this week.  I encourage you to reconsider airing this ad.

Sincerely,

Wendy Stock, Ph.D.

This time Togo’s did respond:

Dear Wendy,

Thank you for contacting Togo’s.

We wanted to make sure you knew that we received your comment regarding our recent TV commercial. It is never our intention to offend anyone.  Our spot was meant to be fun and quirky and to make fun of sandwiches that are all bread and no meat.  I will make sure our Marketing team hears your concerns. I truly appreciate your feedback and will pass it along to our Brand Marketing team.

Sincerely,

Leslie Lopez

Dissatisifed with that response, Dr. Stock plans to send her letter to the local San Francisco (CA) Bay Area station, KTVU, that carries the Togo’s ad.

Here is information if you would like to do so as well:

KTVU is owned by Cox Media Group: KTVU, virtual channel 2 (digital channel 44), is the Fox-affiliated television station serving the San Francisco Bay Area. Licensed to Oakland, California, the station has been owned by Atlanta-based Cox Enterprises since 1964, making it the largest Fox affiliate by market size that is not owned and operated by the network.

KTVU sales contact and KTVU general manager:
Corporate Headquarters:
Cox Media Group
6205 Peachtree Dunwoody Rd.
Atlanta, GA 30328
Phone: (678) 645-0000
Fax: (678) 645-5002

The media is powerful and the images we see on tv, the images that children see, influence behavior and influence what we come to think of as okay behavior.  It’s important that we hold them accountable when offensive behavior is made to see funny or normal.

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“It’s obnoxious and I shouldn’t have to put up with this”

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I cycle to and from work every day. Almost every day, either some guys standing around outside a shop holler at me, or someone stops his car to honk or yell at me. I wear headphones and shades and try to ignore it, but I’ve had it up to here.

When I talk to my coworkers about it, they say that’s just what guys in Miami are like. I don’t understand it. I’m not out trying to turn people on, I’m sweaty and on a bicycle and I just want to get to work. It burns me.

If someone yelled at one of those guys when he was just walking down the street minding his own business, he’d probably start a fight! And what if someone talked to his mom or sister like that? It’s obnoxious and I shouldn’t have to put up with this bullshit.

– Anonymous

Location: Miami Gardens, FL

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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“Stares”: Spoken Word by Philly Youth Poetry Movement Members

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This is POWERFUL. Hear Safiya Washington and Kai Davis perform “Stares,” a spoken word piece about receiving unwanted male attention in public and not receiving wanted male attention in public and the similar way it makes them feel about themselves.

Both of these articulate, passionate young women are part of the Philly Youth Poetry Movement, which is a non-profit organization committed to helping the youth of Philadelphia discover the power of their voices through spoken word and literary expression. Through free weekly workshops, monthly slams, national/local performance opportunities, mentoring and community service, PYPM provides a safe environment for at-risk youth ages 13-19 to use poetry as a vehicle to express and advocate for themselves, explore their identity(ies), enhance literacy and critical thinking skills, and become agents of social change.

Their piece reminds me how for many women (especially young women), interactions with men in public are either as the target of unwanted attention or nonexistent because we are invisible because we don’t meet the traditional beauty standards. The notion that women’s worth is based on how men view them is damaging; we are more than our bodies, we are more than what others think of us and how they treat us. We should be respected and we should be visible.

[Thank you @NualaCabral for sending the video]

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Bus stop harassers in Athens, GA

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I walk about two miles to work everyday, and everyday something happens. The least pleasant place to walk by is usually the bus stop because there is typically a group of men there. If one man says something sexual, then a few others will laugh or join in. I try to avoid eye contact while walking past the bus stop.

– Anonymous

Location: Athens, Georgia

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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