Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Winners of the Hey, Shorty! drawing + help fund Hey, Shorty! book tour

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I’m trying to be more interactive-y so I filmed the drawing of the names of the people* who won copies of the new book Hey, Shorty! A guide to Combating Sexual Harassment and Violence in Schools and on the Streets and a copy of the Hey…Shorty! documentary, both from Girls for Gender Equity.

(If you watch the drawing, you’ll notice something I didn’t while filming… one of my dogs is licking himself on the couch behind me. Whoops, sorry about that folks! But I can’t redo a drawing, so you’re getting real, unedited life. You can also spot my second dog on the couch on the other side of me. At one point I smile at her.)

I hope everyone who didn’t win will check out the Hey, Shorty! book. You can read one of its latest book reviews on the Ms. blog today.

Also, one of the authors of the book, Mandy Van Deven, needs your help as she works to fund a national book tour. Please consider donating to the book tour so that more people around the country can learn about the important issues the book covers. Mandy and I will co-speak at any of the events that are in my area, so if you’re on the East Coast, you may get to hear from authors of two of the only books that address street harassment! Learn more and donate.

*Jeff Stutsman and Sara Cannon won copies of the book, Dienna Howard won a copy of the documentary

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“[He] decided to lay down and basically hump the pile of sand that he was sitting on”

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A couple of summers ago my son and I had been going to a beach close to our house. Near the end of the summer he went to visit some relatives for a week. I was a little uneasy to go to the beach by myself but I really like swimming and love being outdoors. I decided to go.

I found a place on the beach to put my things down and went for a swim. I got out of the water and sat down on my towel.

Then a man came up from behind me and sat down right next to me. This made me very uncomfortable and it was very much unwelcomed.

He was very friendly and after he said how much he liked the ocean and what a nice day it was, he told me that he was open to all kinds of sexual experiences and, with no encouragement from me, started to tell me about some of them. I was trying to stay calm while looking for my chance to make a run for it. Around this time I could “clearly see” that he enjoyed hearing himself talk, so much so that he started to touch himself.

The whole time he was acting like this was totally normal.

I, however, was looking over my shoulder at the police department that is on the beach not to far away from where I was. I wondered if anyone would even notice if things got worse. He then decided to lay down and basically hump the pile of sand that he was sitting on. I saw my chance, I quickly got up and grabbed my things and headed for the sidewalk. He didn’t come after me (something that has happen to me in the past).

I have so many of these stories, it is why I hesitated to go in the first place. This total loser took part of the beach away from me. It is not really safe anymore.

– Anonymous

Location: Redondo Beach, California

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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Why can’t guys wear skirts?

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Not sure if you’ll be interested in my story, but I’ll tell you anyway in the hope that someone out there might understand and change their attitudes. It’s not of a specific occurrence, more a general description.

I am male – a male with what might be described as a ‘girly’ taste in clothes. I like to wear skirts, more often than not with knee length boots. I’m not a ‘goth’ and don’t identify with any ‘fashion group’ within society – neither am I gay – neither do I dress to appear to be a girl.

So why is it that whenever I go out wearing what I want to wear, I get abuse of the ‘trannie’, ‘gayboy’ and ‘queer’ variety – usually from males ? Do those same males abuse girls wearing jeans/trousers as being ‘lesbians’ ? If not, why not – their logic to me is exactly the same!

– Anonymous

Location: In the city streets

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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High school boys terrorize 7th grader

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Hi, I’m Eve. I’m 13 (grade 7!!), a bit curvy, 5’4, and latina. about two weeks ago i was walking home from King Soopers. At the intersection 4 boys appeared from the high school and we crossed the street together. I was a bit ahead of them when we were done crossing. One of them yelled out, “What a cutie,”. but another said, “I wouldnt pay $50 to pop her cherry!!”

I started walking faster. i didnt once look behind me at them. they sped up. one yelled out, “That tiny, fat slut. Nah i do some things, but get rid of her quick.”

I wanted to run, or at least spin around and kick them in the crotch. but they would just follow me more. let me just say i was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt so i wasnt asking for trouble.

Another one laughed and giggled, “Lets follow her and give her rough time.”

I walked even faster. but they sped up as well.

“Baby, i cant tell what you are by your juicy a**. we dont know how hard to go on you!!”

Now i started walk/jog away from them. They started joging as well. One of them yelled out, “Damn, your packing a**. We’re going to calling you speed racer!! hahaha!!”

After two minutes they stopped by another intersection and i went the other direction. Of course they yelled out, “See ya sweetie. next time we’ll make sure to know ya!!!”

That time i looked at them. i ran home and made sure to use the other way home for now on. Every day i worry about meeting up with them and possibly geting hurt by them. yesterday, i actually saw one of them in King Soopers. he followed me outside and yelled at me, “I miss you!”

Why cant they leave me alone?

– Eve

Location: Englewood, Colorado

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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Two heroes call out their street harassers and their stories inspire other women to be brave

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I was raised to be polite, quiet, and not hurt people’s feelings, just as so many girls and women have been, and standing up to street harassers (or any harassers) is not something that comes naturally to me. I am in awe, then, of women (and people) who just go for it, who stand up to harassers no matter what, and by doing so, make the world a better place. Today, I want to mention two of them and I consider them to be heroes.

Nicola Briggs

First, this evening, I had the honor to meet Nicola Briggs, the woman who made headlines last fall by calling out a subway pervert who had his penis out against her on the subway (a video of it went viral on YouTube). During the subway incident, Nicola didn’t think about being polite or ladylike, she didn’t worry about making a scene. She called the guy out loudly, got bystanders to help make sure he didn’t get away, and reported him to police. He was arrested and later convicted.

The Islip Area AAUW Branch in New York sponsored me to speak at their local library this evening and Nicola surprised me by coming to the talk! I asked her to share her story for the attendees and everyone was very impressed and inspired. I know I continue to be both impressed and inspired by her presence of mind and determination to make sure he didn’t harass any other woman. Coincidentally, she wrote a guest post on iHollaback today.

Second, today on the ACLU Blog, Robyn Shepherd shared an amazing story of standing up to a street harasser/sexual assaulter. She was on her way to work when a guy whacked her on her rear on the street. She chased the guy down yelled at him and called the police who came and helped her look for him. In the end, he got away, but it was still an important response. She writes,

“I’m realistic. I knew they were never going to arrest this guy. But here’s the thing, and the point to this whole long, profane story. I know there are a lot of people who think it wasn’t that big a deal. But the truth of the matter is, what this guy did was sexual assault. “Forcible touching and harassment,” if you want to get specific.

Sexual assault doesn’t always necessarily mean something as horrible as rape. And too often street harassment is unreported, and douchebags like this think they can get away with it because the girl is gonna be too embarrassed or too meek to do anything about it. Or they think it’s “just a slap on the ass.” And that’s not right, you guys. I don’t know how other women feel about their posteriors, but you don’t very well get to smack the hell out of it willy-nilly because you feel entitled to do so. There will be repercussions.

To the NYPD’s credit, they did follow up, and the detective told me that if I really wanted to press charges, she would help me do that, even if it meant looking through a lot of surveillance tape and looking at lineups and all that stuff. I opted not to, figuring that they had this guy’s description, and if he did it again, he’d be in a lot of trouble. But something tells me he’s not going to. I think I scared him. Or as the detective said, “So you ran up and confronted him and screamed at him in a bank.”

“Yep.”

“…Awesome.”

I know what happened to me could have been a lot, lot worse. But someone doesn’t have to be raped to be humiliated, violated and hurt. Sometimes, all it takes is a smack on the ass.”

Exactly.

It’s our right to be safe on the streets and the subways and buses and in stores and we don’t have to be embarrassed to call out the jerks who try to hurt and humiliate us.

Thank you, Nicola, thank you, Robyn for standing up to harassers and thank you for also sharing those stories. You inspire the rest of us who aren’t as brave to try being brave.

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