Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Treating me as their property”

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When I was walking home from work, I saw these men hanging out on the street from afar, and I knew, JUST KNEW that they were going to try to “holla” at me. They made it obvious that they were going to catcall because they stopped their inane conversation to stare at me. Yuck. I was already planning what I was going to do to handle them. Do I cross the street or keep on walking? I opted to keep on walking because crossing the street would’ve been an inconvenience to me.

They had started talking again, but now I was close enough for them to make verbal contact with. They once again stop talking to check me out. Ew. And I knew it, they opened their raggedy mouths:

“Heyyyyyyyyy, gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrl!” they said, as if we were longtime friends. I didn’t know these fools, nor did I want to. And I know they were looking at my ass as I passed them…nasty!

Do I respond or ignore them? At first I chose to ignore them. Instead of their dumb behinds catching the hint, they continued to speak to me, but louder.

“How ya doin’, cutie?” they said. I still ignore them.

Now when the one on the right in the photo said, “Boo, did your man hurt you?”, enough with ignoring them. I had to turn around and say something. “One, I AM NOT HIS “BOO”, and two, the assumption that my ignoring them and trying to go about my day meant I was angry and had “man trouble” pissed me off.

“I do not know you,” I said. “You are strangers to me. Don’t talk to black women you don’t know as if you know them. I am not your ‘boo’!”

“You say ‘Hello, Miss’ or ‘Hello, Ma’am,” I continued.

“We said ‘Hello’,” the guy on the right in the photo said.

“But you called me ‘Boo’, and I don’t like being called that, or ‘Shorty’, or ‘Cutie’, or ‘Slim’…learn to respect women!”

I pulled out my phone and snapped a photo of them. I continued chastising them, emphasizing that they were strangers to me and they needed to leave women they didn’t know alone. The reason I emphasized not knowing them is because of the passers-by. People rarely (if ever) help me when I’m dealing with harassers, but I wanted to make the nonexistent relationship between myself and these men regardless.

“Go ahead, take my picture!” the one on the right in the photo said. “There’s a PO-leeeeeeeeeece station down the street. Take dat picture to the PO-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeece!”

I got the photo, put my phone back in my bag, and don’t remember my closing words to them as I continued walking towards home, but I remember the guy on the right went from wanting me to pay him attention to dismissing me with a curt “BYE! BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

I’ve had so much experience with harassers that I should’ve known that was coming too. Just a few seconds prior these pitiful excuses for men were trying hard to get my attention, and when I gave them the type of attention they didn’t want they dismissed me. They continued yelling stuff to my back but I was tired of dealing with them and wanted to get home.

It pisses me off that they singled me out on the street and assumed they could talk to me in any way because we’re the same race. I’m sure they said not a thing to the couples that walked ahead of me, or the girls jogging ahead of me, or the woman who was dressed for a fancy night out who was ahead of me, nor did they say anything to the older couple behind me or the two boys who were headed in their direction. Nope, they had to single me out being the only black woman passing by them, treating me as their property.

I’ve lived in this neighborhood for a year, and I tend to see the same faces more or less and have a feel of who lives here. I have seen the guy leaning on the car before bumming for change. I remember him pretty much ignoring people who walked by him, but he banged on the window of a woman in her car who was about to drive off. She locked the doors and drove off—good for her! I noticed he surely didn’t bug a big, burly guy I saw walking past him that day. I have never seen the other guy until today. Regardless of where they’re from, they need to get lives that don’t involve hanging out on the street corner not doing shit with themselves. They need to leave women alone.

(And no, the irony is not lost on me that these guys were standing near a neighborhood watch sign when I took the photo.)

– Tired of Being Harassed

Location: Wilson Blvd. & N. Troy Street, Arlington, VA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Weekly Round Up: August 29. 2010

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Story Submissions Recap:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!

In the News, On the Blogs:

Events:

Announcements:

10 Tweets from the Week:

  • missandrealuise Want to influence mayoral policy on street harassment? See London Anti Street Harassment (LASH) Campaign’s survey: www.lashcampaign.org
  • Eliza “street harassment is on the same spectrum of violence against women” SO TRUE.
  • StreetHarassmnt Man riding bike sneering at Laura & I falls over curb because he was too focused on us hot ladies! There is a god!
  • CatCall “Hey pretty!” on Ave C. I’m starting to think C stands for CatCall.
  • ThatWasLaura Seriously man? “Helloooo nurse?” what the fuck kind of catcall is that? I’m not a cartoon.
  • motheroflight What is it, Catcall Thurs? I guess the men of downtown arent ready 4 the return of skinny jeans&books. #StopCallingMeHoney
  • stephenlacour It’s 2010 and I can’t believe that old gross dudes still catcall random girls so hard.
  • kitchentop fuck u asshole who specifically stuck yr hand out 2 grope me as i passed u on the sidewalk. #streetharassment
  • TheOpEdProject Over 80% of women are harassed, just for walking on the street. Check out new book by @hkearl Stop Street Harassment http://bit.ly/a4E8Mw
  • SakuraChica I will be reading “Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Places Safe and Welcoming for Women” by @hkearl. “catcalling” is NOT a compliment.
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“I feel a hit on my rear end”

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I was walking down South Carolina Ave back to my office building after a satisfying 2 mile run on the boardwalk. The street is usually quite deserted but I saw a young man walking towards me. I noticed he glanced around him before our paths were going to meet. No one was around but us two pedestrians. Mind you, the sidewalks in Atlantic City are VERY WIDE. While the young man didn’t step aside to give me a wide berth, he didn’t get right into my path. So just as we cross…..I feel a hit on my rear end. I turned around and screamed, “Did you just f*cking touch me?” His eyes got as big as saucers & he stammered, “I didn’t touch you!” I chased him screaming a variety of expletives back to the boardwalk. And if I didn’t just run two miles, I would have caught him & kicked his ass.

– Bossy HBIC

Location: South Carolina Avenue, Atlantic City, New Jersey

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Two new HollaBack websites

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A big welcome to the latest anti-street harassment websites!

They clearly contribute to the picture of how universal street harassment is and how it’s the experience of women all over the world. Thank goodness there are a growing number of people around the world who are speaking out and working to change this unfortunate reality.

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Where are all the young people who care about women’s rights?

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The blog Fair and Feminist is holding a “This is What a Young Feminist Looks Like Blog Carnival” today. The carnival is in response to a recent New York Times article by Gail Collins in which she said that middle-aged women she talks with wonder, where are the young feminists?

The blog carnival is a way to show where we are!

As I wrote in a recent guest post for Girl-Drive, I am very grateful for the concept of feminism because it has allowed me to not have my life path dictated by my gender. I self identify as a feminist and at this moment, I’m still fairly young.  So I am what a young feminist looks like.

There are thousands of us who self identify as feminist and not only take on the title, but take on the mission. As a women’s studies major, employee at a women’s equity nonprofit organization, and an online feminist activist on issues like street harassment, I am surrounded by strong women and men who are fighting for the rights of women. And many of them are young. It is a shame when the work we do every day is negated or made invisible because people with power and a voice (such as New York Times writers) wonder why we don’t exist.

In addition to the negation of the work of young feminists, I am frustrated by the obsession with rumination about whether or not people use the term feminist. Some women may feel uncomfortable with the term because of past racism found among white feminists, others may not like using labels to describe themselves, and others may not want to use the term for fear of alienating people who think feminists are man-haters. Does it really matter if someone calls themselves a feminist if they support and actively work for women’s rights? Why waste time squabbling about titles when we have the same goals?

So while I write this post to say, hey, young feminists are everywhere and we do exist, I also write it to say, I’ve never met a young woman who wasn’t interested and engaged in some women’s rights issue and improving the opportunities and happiness of women. So if the question, “Where are all the young feminists” was expanded to ask, “Where are all the young people who care about women’s issues, women’s rights?” the answer would be much obvious because they are everywhere you look.

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