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“Getting in women’s faces is aggressive”

July 27, 2010 By Contributor

I’ve had a really good day at work and am merrily on my street, almost at my door, weighed down with tins of cat food, when I notice three people coming towards me. I recognise them – they live a few doors down from me – one girl and two guys, all (I think) Turkish students. As I have to walk past them, the taller of the two guys is practically goddamn drooling at my modest shirt dress covered up by a coat and when he gets near me leans over to get right in my face. The other guy (and girl!) don’t even bat an eyelid and I respond by shouting, “Get a grip!” after I’ve rushed past him.

By the time I get home, I’m seething – I’m on my own street and the end of my blissful day has been ruined by this idiot. I’m feeling fragile and end up crying to my boyfriend (whilst Romeo down the road has probably forgotten my existence by now). I don’t usually let this get to me, but it was the blatant aggression of it.

Getting in women’s faces is aggressive and nothing more than a pathetic attempt to shove your masculine ‘power’ in my face. If you try this one again, mate, I think I’ll be doing my best scream queen caterwaul back in your face so you leave with your ears ringing. Leave me the hell alone!

– Anonymous

Location: Waldeck Road, North London, UK

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: leering, sexual harassment, street harassment

I don’t take orders from strangers

July 26, 2010 By Contributor

Well, I now have a harassment story from Vancouver. I was walking down Commercial Drive yesterday. I walked past a group of men who looked like bikers. One of them shouted at me to ‘smile!’ I know that isn’t as extreme as many of the other stories on this blog, but it really pissed me off. I mean, what gives this guy the right to order me to change my facial expression for his amusement? Don’t I have the right to walk down the street with a neutral expression on my face without being ordered to appease the menfolk?

I shot him a glare. He responded by telling me my dress was beautiful. I just kept on walking. I wanted to tell him off, but I didn’t want to risk a confrontation with ten big guys. I’m pretty tough, but I just wasn’t interested in putting myself in danger to try and teach this guy how to respect women. Gross.

– Margaret

Location: Vancouver, BC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: patriarchy, street harassment

Connections between street harassment and sex work

July 26, 2010 By HKearl

“How much?”

“I’ll give you $200”

These are comments that women from my 2008 street harassment survey have heard from men while walking down the street, waiting for the bus, or riding the subway. Because they were just trying to go about their day in peace, they were upset by the intrusion and also insulted by the presumption that complete access to their body could be bought on the spot.

My former college roommate, who is from Salt Lake City, sent me an interesting article from the Salt Lake Tribune that made me think about these stories and the connections between street harassment and street walking. The article looks at how women who are not sex workers, but who live in an area where there are many are constantly solicited when they’re walking places. Because of a crackdown on the sex industry, sex workers wear clothes that help them blend in with everyone else, making it hard for customers to distinguish them from other women. Thus any woman is fair game.

As the article suggests, there are several similarities and connections between street harassment and the sex industry, particularly female prostitution, and because it’s quite complex, I’ll only touch on two of them.

The first connection is that there’s a presumption that men should have access to women’s bodies. Just like some customers may feel that because they’ve paid money, they have the right to a sex workers’ body (rape and other violence is not that uncommon in the sex industry), there are men in public places who feel the same way about any woman they see. It’s their right as a man to stare, say, and do what they want: women are there to be consumed. And so they openly talk about women’s body parts, demand sexual favors, describe sex acts they want to engage in, leer, follow, and grab. Women’s desire to be left alone or to have autonomy over how their body is used or viewed is inconsequential.

Sadly, men’s access to women’s bodies is ancient history.  From Marilyn French’s book From Eve to Dawn: A History of Women in the World, I learned that the first record of prostitution dates back to when Sumarian priests forced slave women to be sexually used by men who paid the priests. (Today many prostitutes continue to be used as an object in a financial transaction between two men: a customer and the pimp.) For other women, fathers or other male members of authority historically—and in some cultures still do—sold off their daughters to men through a dowry system.  A daughter’s opinion usually was not sought and was not considered. Marriage was a financial transaction and her body was a commodity for men.

While of course women have always been resilient and have found ways to rebel and to empower themselves in these contexts, the framework and systems are still bleak and they continue to impact today’s societal view of women’s bodies.

The second connection is a blatant  culture of disrespect for women.  Street harassment is a manifestation of this disrespect because it shows that the harassing men don’t care about a woman’s right to public space, to her own thoughts, and to her desire to feel safe. They don’t care if she’s having a bad day, puzzling through a problem, or late for work. They interrupt, scare, annoy, and anger women anyway.  But that disrespect is even more intense when it comes to female sex workers.

There’s a societal attitude that it’s okay to treat sex workers badly, assault them, and even murder them (like serial killers who only murder sex workers). Some people see the life of a sex worker as worth less than the life of a “respectable” woman (which is an outrage). To treat someone “like a slut” means to treat them without respect. In the GGE documentary “Hey…Shorty,” for example, when the documentarian asks an older man why he harasses women, he says something along the lines of how if he sees girls dressed “like sluts,” he’s going to treat them like sluts. As his comment reflects, an attitude of disrespect for sex workers means it’s okay to harass women who “look” or “act” like one. This attitude also contributes to the persistent victim-blaming of harassment and sexual assault victims based on their appearance.

And as a related side note, what always gets me about the disrespectful treatment of sex workers is the fact that so many are not there by choice  (but power to those who are and who enjoy their work). Meaning, growing up that was not the job they wanted to have. Two years ago at my training to become an online hotline volunteer for the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network I learned that an overwhelming percentage of sex workers are survivors of incest, sexual abuse, child abuse, and are runaways who need to find a way to survive and, in a society where sex is a commodity, they know one way they can make some money.  Even those who enter it to feed a drug addiction may be addicted to drugs as a way of self medicating from trauma. And of course the work of organizations like the Polaris Project reminds us how many women, even in the US, are not in the industry by any semblance of choice. But yet, the cultural consensus is that they are people we can disrespect, make fun of, and vilify? How messed up is that?! (And I know the illegalization of their work does not help matters.)

There is much more to this issue that I’m just not going to attempt in a blog post, though, as always, I welcome  comments from those who want to tackle other aspects or delve deeper into these.

So I’ll conclude by saying we need to do everything we can to help build a society where there is respect for ALL women and where women have control over their sexuality. We can refuse to put down sex workers and not call women we don’t like “sluts” or “whores.” We can stop victim blaming women for the violence they experience. And we can trust women to have ownership over their bodies and work to ensure they have control over who has access to their bodies and when.

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: marilyn french, patriarchy, polaris project, prostitution, RAINN, sex industry, sex work, street harassment

Weekly Round Up: July 25, 2010

July 25, 2010 By HKearl

Story Submissions Recap:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!

  • Stop Street Harassment Blog: There were 7 stories from contributors in Newcastle upon Tyne, England (x2); London; Virginia; South Africa; and two from unspecified locations.
  • HollaBack Chicago: 1 new story
  • HollaBack DC!: 11 new stories
  • HollaBack NYC: 6 new stories, plus a recording of a woman confronting her harassers

In the News, On the Blogs:

  • Infoshop News, “An Appropriate Response to Street Harassment“
  • Young Feminist Wire, “Delhi Most Unsafe for Women” (video)
  • The Jakarta Post, “Women Face Harassment Every Day” (Indonesia)
  • The London Anti-Street Harassment (LASH) Campaign was featured on “A Programme From Vanessa Feltz” (BBC)
  • John Tesh, “You Can Combat Street Harassment“
  • The Independent, “Harriet Walker:Hassled Just Because I Ride a Bike“
  • Feministing Community, “NYC Mutes, Ignores Sex-Crime Prevention Services“
  • Women’s Learning Partnership, “No More Silence: Taking a Stand on Sexual Harassment“
  • Where Is Your Line, “‘Hey Baby’ Could Be a Strong Starting Point“

10 Street Harassment Tweets from the Week:

  • SpringDoes I’m always astounded by how much less street harassment I experience when walking with a man.
  • femmeniste “Wow, girl. You are so sexy!”-guy on bike. Can a lady get to work in peace? #StreetHarassment #NYC #RideBy
  • GIRLEMPOWER: @iHollaback When I was 8 my grandma blamed ME for a teenage boys sexual harassment!
  • NoWealthButLife “Hey, sexy” from strange man on street= opposite of sexy. Why is this hard for good guys to understand? http://bit.ly/ccFqjl
  • lashcampaign A film crew making a documentary about activism will be following @vicky_simister around next week
  • krisellelaran Boys: If a girl doesn’t respond to your catcall, calling her “fat” won’t make her swoon. It will make her punch you in the mouth
  • CatCall A CHILD riding his bike on the sidewalk says, “Hello beautiful” as he nearly crashes into me. “Learning catcalls young, eh?” A CHILD!
  • StopStHarassmnt #streetharassment starts early. out of 811 women, 87% said they’d faced it by age 19, 66% by age 15, & 22% by age 12. #outrageous
  • BLANK_NOISE what in the past stopped you from reacting to street sexual harassment? #eveteasing
  • iHollaback Street harassment teaches us to be silent. We just refuse to listen.

Resource of the Week:

  • Humorous video “Eve Teasing is Injurious to Health”
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Filed Under: News stories, Stories, street harassment, weekly round up Tagged With: hollaback, Stories, street harassment

Daily street harassment needs hidden camera revenge

July 24, 2010 By Contributor

i suffer from a social phobia as a result of the amount of harassment i get when i leave my front door. There isn’t a day goes by when i’m out on the street and there isn’t some idiot hollering out of a car!

Men appear to have the need to project the fact that you’ve given them a “thrill” or that they approve of how you look! its ridiculous! and the mentality is pathetic! its even more apparent if i’m with my girlfriend, my personal life suddenly becomes the “highlight of everyone’s day” and because they are threatened that i have no desire to please them, they turn their hurt masculine pride into derogatory abuse!

i live in a small town, and the extent of this is literally controlling my life. One of these days i am going to take a hidden camera out with me, to reveal how much this actually happens, to show up the ” men” who appear to make it their day’s objective to bully women!

– Anonymous

Location: “My hometown”

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: sexual harassment, street harassment

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Comment Policy

SSH will not publish any comment that is offensive or hateful and does not add to a thoughtful discussion of street harassment. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, disabalism, classism, and sexism will not be tolerated. Disclaimer: SSH may use any stories submitted to the blog in future scholarly publications on street harassment.
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