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“This is the proper response.”

July 8, 2010 By Contributor

Walking down the street, an older guy standing on the corner held out a publication toward me.

“Wanna buy one, sweetie?”

“No thanks, and don’t call me ‘sweetie.'” My standard response.

He surprised me by answering sincerely, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disrespect you.”

Thank you!

See, creepy guys who get angry when I tell you not to call me “angel,” “honey,” and “sweetheart?” This is the proper response.

– Cate Burlington

Location: Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: don't call me sweetie, inappropriately using pet names, proper response, street harassment

Speak up – you can save other people

July 7, 2010 By Contributor

[Editor’s note: The following was posted in a comment on another story and I think it deserves its own post]

Today I took the subway in the middle of the afternoon to go run some errands.  I was inside of the train at Yonge and Eglinton station when a man standing beside me touched my upper part and whispered something in my ear. I got scared and I pushed him off…and moved towards the people. The subway was stopped for few minutes at that station when it happened.

The man got off the subway and disappeared. I thought nothing of it… Just that maybe he wanted to flirt, but then I saw him bug another lady on the platform.  That is when I decided to report him to the Authorities because I thought that he might escalate his intentions and do something even worse to someone else or someone weaker like a kid.  Or attack in the middle of the night. Who knows!! This happened in the middle of the afternoon!! With lots of people around… who know what he is capable of doing when there is no one around.

I am very satisfied with how police and the TTC Authorities handle the harassment. They made me feel confident that I made the right decision.  I actually feel happy to live in a place like Toronto. I feel safe because Police are really looking out for you….

So I encourage everyone who might be in a similar situation to SPEAK UP!!! You don’t lose anything and can save other people!

– TS

Location: Toronto subway

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: reporting a harasser, street harassment, toronto, TTC Authority

“She’s got the short hair, she’s probably a fucking dyke.”

July 7, 2010 By Contributor

No matter what day of the week, it is likely you will run into a number of drunken peers in my college town, and harassment isn’t uncommon. My friend and I are a couple of insomniacs, so the town at night no longer scares me like it might have a few years ago when I left home for the first time. I have heard the advice given to us womenfolk…you know, about staying off the streets at night, walking with buddies, blah blah blah and I’ve even been scolded by a complete stranger who witnessed one of my late night strolls. I didn’t take harassment that seriously because it only came to me in the form of whistles and compliments, both subtle and belligerent, but I absorbed them as misguided kindness or something of the like.

THEN…I cut my hair. I found feminism, saw the links between patriarchy and standards of female beauty and worth, and had my talented roomie cut it off one night after my boyfriend told me to “settle down.” Initial responses were amazing. Everyone loved it! Except my boyfriend and father, of course….but that didn’t matter. I felt liberated.

So it was around 1 a.m. on Franklin Street in this popular college town and I was walking into the neighboring town, Carrboro, to stay the night with a friend. I was walking down the street in a cardigan and pajama pants when a group of young, white, “fratty” types crossed the street and began walking towards me. As soon as they saw me they began to loudly and clumsily interrogate me. “Why ya wearing green pants, green pants girl? Look, she’s got a purple sweater, HEY PURPLE SWEATER GIRL.” They got closer and more in my face, and never one to avoid confrontation, I turned and said, “Maybe not heckle strangers, hey?”

They didn’t like that very much, and started up again with, “Welcome to a fucking college town, YEAH there’s gonna be drunk people, GOD, you fucking weirdo.” And then another “She’s got the short hair, she’s probably a fucking dyke.”

As I moved further away, the shouts became inaudible, and I walked on, angry that there was nothing else I could do. Angry that I didn’t have the guts to turn and really embarrass them. Angry that they felt they could say things like that to my face, in public, and without consequence.

I knew that the stories my short haired female friends had always told me were not the rare experiences, the anomalies I had originally written them off as. I doubt it would have ever happened that way if I had my long hair still. This isn’t the worst thing that has ever happened to someone on the streets, for sure…but I guess my point is that it should have never happened. Those guys shouldn’t feel entitled to yell at women on the streets, drunk or no. Harassment is harassment.

– Carissa Morrison

Location: Franklin Street, Chapel Hill, NC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: Chapel Hill, drunk harassment, homophobia, street harassment

Sex segregated in line, assaulted on the bus

July 7, 2010 By HKearl

Bus in indiaLast month the government in Central Jakarta, India, segregated people by sex in the bus stop lines to curb crime, including sexual harassment. Today I read a news article about a case of sexual assault on the bus because, unsurprisingly, segregating people without addressing the real issue will not solve the problem!

Via Berita Jakarta:

“The criminal sat beside the victim. At a time, the criminal touched the victim’s breast. The victim screamed and slapped the criminal on his face.

“The incident took place in Tosari. Both of them were stopped in Dukuhatas and then taken to South Jakarta Police Precinct,” said Dano, Tuesday (7/6). In fact, besides separating passengers based on gender, the bus attendant always reminded the passengers to place themselves on empty spaces. To make the passengers comfortable, Transjakarta BLU will set stickers about safety way in the bus.”

I’m sure a reminder to sit in empty spaces is really useful…not. The harasser won’t listen and the harassee probably already did that. I think women instinctively know we’re in for trouble when it’s a largely empty bus or subway car and a man plops himself down right next to us. And sometime when we move, they do, too. Harassing behavior like that is scary and predatory.

What seems to be hard for these men to understand is that they do not have a right to our space and to our bodies just because we’re women living in patriarchal societies. That kind of assumption needs to change! Incidentally, the International Center for Research on Women has an initiative in India focused on changing those assumptions in boys and so far it’s been very successful. Hopefully in time it can spread across all of India!

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: bus stop line, Central Jakarta India, gender violence, sex segregation, sexual assault

Schedule me to speak about street harassment!

July 7, 2010 By HKearl

My book Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Places Safe & Welcoming for Women is out in a mere seven weeks (on Aug. 30). Read about the media attention it’s already generated.

As street harassment is a global problem, I hope I can visit many places this fall and next spring to speak about street harassment and what we can do about it. Do you want me to talk about street harassment to your community group, on your campus, or at your bookstore or library? I can design a workshop or talk tailored for your specific audience – for campus events I can also speak about sexual assault due to my work at AAUW and with RAINN – and my fee is negotiable. While I’m located in the Washington, DC, area, I love to travel and will go anywhere to speak about this issue 🙂

Please contact me (stopstreetharassment AT yahoo Dot com) if you’re interested in scheduling me or if you have recommendations for venues I should pursue.

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Filed Under: Events, street harassment Tagged With: book talks, catcalling, holly kearl, street harassment

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SSH will not publish any comment that is offensive or hateful and does not add to a thoughtful discussion of street harassment. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, disabalism, classism, and sexism will not be tolerated. Disclaimer: SSH may use any stories submitted to the blog in future scholarly publications on street harassment.
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