Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“It’s payback time, boys” – street harassment game

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Last fall, a New York City graduate student* contacted me because she was creating a first person shooter game about street harassment. We chatted about street harassment and I hoped to include her work in my forthcoming book, but alas I could not include every activist I came across due to space constraints. I will include a profile of her in a new activists section of my website this summer.

Anyway, after a particularly annoying harassment experience, she was talking with a friend about street harassment and out of the conversation came the idea to use her programming strength to create a product she calls “definitely controversial but designed to be playful and silly and totally over the top!” In the game she uses real comments harassers have said to her and her friends and family. This week she let me know that her first person shooter game is done. Here’s her description:

” Ladies, are you sick and tired of catcalling, hollering, obnoxious one-liners and creepy street encounters? Tired of changing your route home to avoid uncomfortable situations?

IT’S PAYBACK TIME, BOYS…..

Tell your friends, co-workers, sisters, mothers and grandmothers.  This is the game you’ve all been waiting for…”

Hey Baby is a playful and provocative video game about street harassment. Through a 3D game and website, Hey Baby is designed to spark discussion about women’s experiences of public space. Play the game at www.heybabygame.com.

The Player encounters a series of creepy men who confront her with real comments as she navigates through the game world.  The Player can choose to shoot or to shower them with love.  Hey Baby is based on hundreds of real stories, collected from women throughout the world. Using an ironic mix of humor, violence and over-the-top graphics, this unsettling game encourages open access to public space.

My pal Brittany interviewed she and featured her game at Change.org’s site and in the latest issue of Bitch magazine, and here is a review of it on Sexy Videogameland and Salon.com, so I refer you to those articles for more info.

Thoughts?

*the game creator has asked me to delete her name because of the controversy the game is creating and how directly it is attached to her name

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Hey sugar

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I was yelled at from the street, asked if I wanted a ride, called pet names like “doll” and “gorgeous.” I was wearing a loose tshirt and jeans, with my hair up and no makeup. Ladies, it’s not about what you’re wearing. Pervs will be pervs.

This afternoon, I was biking. A guy followed me on his bike yelling things at me, until thankfully i lost him or he gave up. I ignored him. I was scared of what he could do.

Another time a man asked me if I wanted a walk to my car, and tried to give me his number so I could ‘visit’ him sometime. The man was in his 50s. I am 18.

How come being a woman is somehow equivalent to “wants to be harassed/cant say no/open for sex” in a creep’s mind.

This needs to stop. Now.

– anonymous

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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You’d better not be following me!

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I was shopping in Wal-Mart the other day, minding my own business. I noticed a man staring at me and watching me as I shopped. A self-defense manual I read states clearly that women in particular are wise to be aware of and know who is watching them. So, I looked back at him, without comment, made a mental note of this person and went about my business shopping. This encounter was at the front of the store, near the entrance.

I made my way to the back of the store. A short time later, I see the same man turn the corner and walk down the aisle I was in. He approached me and said, “How are you doing, baby?” I looked him in the eye and said, “Are you following me? You’d better not be following me.” He got really rattled at that and said, “Oh no, no…” and walked away quickly. As he left I said, “Maybe I need to call security!”

I never saw that guy’s face again.

Most of you who shop at Wal-Mart know they are pretty huge. It’s not like a tiny little family market where you are likely to keep running into the same person. I don’t know if he had been watching me to see what aisle I turned down, but his appearance once again was deliberate to me. All I know is I felt trouble when I saw him again, especially after experiencing those initial uncomfortable stares.

Like so many other women who post here, I am tired of being forced to deal with these intrusive, immature, entitled males who think they have the right to follow a total stranger, who is a woman because they feel like it. Too often, we are forced to confront second-rate masculine energy, a far cry from a truly empowered male energy that considers carefully his actions toward women and how he may come across. Daily, we are dealing with men who only think about themselves and their base desires, not whether they are making their female “target” feel unsafe. I have a lot of anger at how men have contributed to my feelings of a lack of safety in public. I’m always watching my back-I carry mace and whistle at all times.

One last thing: I’m tired of being expected to follow some sort of conservative dress code as a way of avoiding unwanted attention from men. It plain does not work. And it’s making me and other women responsible for how men behave. I have experienced catcalling by men in public wearing full winter gear: gloves, hat, coat, boots-no skin showing whatsoever except for my face. So don’t tell me to watch what signals I’m sending. If women’s dress could change men’s behavior, no woman wearing a burqa would ever be raped or assaulted-but we all know that they are, no matter what they do. Its time men started asking themselves what signals they are sending. I’ve had it with being held responsible for the undisciplined behavior of men. I will not take responsibility for their reactions to me.

The vast majority of men can walk around without a shirt on without fear of female violence acted out towards them. But if I have the audacity to wear a low-cut shirt or a tube-top, I’m the bad girl who deserves to be raped and harassed? This is crap. Men are responsible for their nasty, threatening, hateful behavior towards women, not me and my outfit that I have every right to wear.

I have one question for harassing men: What is it about women’s breasts and bodies that make you incapable of acting like a decent human being?

– LS

Location: Denver, CO

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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I am not a stereotype

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I was heading home on the Key Bridge, enjoying the weather and using the time to clear my head. I had a lot on my mind at the moment.

Out of nowhere I hear male voices yell “HEY BABY!” at me in unison. Without looking I flipped the bird, but as soon as I looked I saw the smug faces of these three jackasses smiling and laughing in a car.

At first it seemed like these asses were going to get away with it, but Key Bridge traffic can be slow so I backed up and took a cell phone video of me confronting them. The guys were loud and obnoxious when they harassed me, but got quiet and tried to act like they had nothing to do with it when I confronted them. When the traffic let up a litle they hit the gas hard. I’m sure to passers-by it looked like the “angry black bitch” yelling for no reason at “innocent, well-to-do white guys,” which was not the truth at all. I am not a stereotype and to be reduced to one by these jerks sickened me.

I’m someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s aunt, someone’s niece, someone’s granddaughter and someone’s friend, but guys like that don’t give a shit. To them I’m just a piece of black booty. They don’t care about me as a human being.

I know my cell phone videos are visually crappy so I’m glad I yelled their license plate number, which is 6BK W54 (Maryland plates).

I don’t think these guys will change overnight, but I’m glad I confronted them. I know not only black women get harassed, and that harassment doesn’t only happen in DC and that I’m not the only one submitting stories to your site. I’m saying this because I’m grateful for the YouTube channel and hope more women around the world feel empowered enough to submit photos and videos to your site like I have. Thank you for giving me the forum to share my stories!

– Tired of Being Harassed

Location: Key Bridge, Arlington, VA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Assault in Nantes

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These are two stories, but they occurred in the same city — Nantes, France, in the Pays de la Loire province.

Story 1– I was waiting for a tram in the middle of a sunny afternoon in April. I planned to take the tram from Commerce (the center of town) to Petits Ports-Facultes, where my French university was located. As I waited for the tram, a man came up to me and rubbed his hands and arms all over my breasts. At first shocked, I started screaming and he ran away. There were easily 100+ onlookers who did nothing. It was terrible.

Story 2– Also in Nantes, I was taking the evening bus circuit from town (Commerce) to my host family’s home (near Montbazon). A strange man had followed my friends and I after dinner, but I wasn’t worried — it was only around 8pm and there’s no way he could be THAT harmful, right? He followed me onto the bus, and partway through the ride home I noticed that he was masturbating, on the bus, and staring at me with frightening and disturbing desire. Every time I moved as if I were getting off the bus, he would stand, and I knew I would be followed if I decided to stop. He moved to sit behind me, and, while he reached to touch my hair, I immediately moved to the front to sit behind the driver. I missed my stop and soon, the masturbating pervert and I were the only people on the bus. Fortunately, as the stop cycled back, a Nantes transport police officer boarded the bus. I told him what was happening, and he was dismissive. “See if he gets off first. If so, you’re fine. If not, we’ll arrest him back in the center of town.” The officer did nothing — not even talk to the man. Eventually, the man ‘finished’ — staring at me all the while– and got off the bus. I finally passed by my stop, got off the bus, and vomited on the side of the road.

– anonymous

Location: Nantes, France, in the Pays de la Loire province

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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