Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Miss D.C. speaks out

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Image via Miss DC

In follow-up to yesterday’s post, I was able to connect with Jen Corey, the current Miss D.C. She graciously agreed to answer a few questions for me about her experiences with street harassment to help raise awareness about this issue.

(And if you’re in the Washington, D.C. area, you can catch her tomorrow on NBC’s “Daily Connection” from 2-3 p.m. EDT. She will be speaking about her harassment experiences. UPDATE – awesome news clip from Miss D.C. from NBC and around minute 3:30 she mentions HollaBack DC! and Stop Street Harassment)

HK: How old were you when boys or men started harassing you in public places?

JC: I was probably about 12 or 13. I was very tall for my age (about 5’8″ in middle school) so men assumed I was much older. It actually happened in front of my mom frequently and she would have to step in and say something.

HK: About how often do men harass you in public places?

JC: Extremely often. I work in Georgetown so I would say most days of the week as I’m walking down the crowded streets for lunch, someone will say something or stop in front of me and look me up and down. I also take the metro every day so I get yelled at from cars while walking to and from the metro.

HK: What impact does street/public harassment have on your life?

JC: It’s been very upsetting. I had a traumatizing experience a few years ago in Adams Morgan. I was getting all of my girl friends into a cab in front of the McDonald’s. I was the last to get in and as I was standing there, a car full of men pulled up behind me and a large man reached out and slapped me so hard on my backside that I fell face first into the cab. My friends didn’t even realize what happened at first because it sounded like a car had run over a water bottle. The men just laughed and drove away while I stood in the street crying. There were officers on the side of the road, but they did nothing. My cab driver yelled at me to get into the cab so we could follow the car, but by then I was in pain and just wanted to go home. I had a bruise on my chin and a black and blue hand print on my backside for a week.

I refused to go back there for a long time. And when I first started going back I would demand to stay sober, thinking that I could “protect” the other girls I was with.

HK: Do you feel the harassment has changed since you became Miss DC? If so, how?

JC: I don’t think it’s changed because most of the time that it happens now, I am not wearing my crown and sash. It’s just as frequent. It happens when I’m all dressed up going to an event, or when I’m leaving the gym with my hair in a ponytail wearing sweats.

HK: Where do you draw the line regarding what you find to be acceptable and unacceptable interactions between strangers in public?

JC: I don’t want to be disrespected. More than anything, I don’t want to be touched. Don’t grab my hand when I walk by and ask me “where’s your smile?” Don’t walk past me, stop and look me up and down saying “daaammmnnnnn.” I don’t expect every guy to leave me alone when I’m out, and I don’t even mind cheesy pick up lines. I just want to be respected and I don’t think that it’s too much to ask.

HK: How do you usually respond to harassers and what response/s has/have been the most empowering for you?

CJ: Well I definitely don’t go around hitting them, although, this incident over the weekend was not the first time I had to. I used to ignore it, but now I assess the situation (and my potential risk of getting hurt) and act accordingly. Most of the time I get in their face (since I’m almost 6 feet tall, we look eye to eye) and say something like, “Did you really think that was going to work?” or “Don’t touch me. I’m bigger than you.” And I always tell another guy that I know or think I can trust near by about what happened. This way if the creep comes back, I have someone else backing me up.

HK: Do you have any suggestions for other women about how to deal with this kind of harassment?

CJ: Don’t ignore it. That’s the problem. Certain men do this because they think they can get away with it. If you don’t feel comfortable doing something yourself, then tell someone near by.

HK: Do you have any ideas or plans for addressing this issue in DC?

CJ: I will be going on NBC on Wednesday, May 26, to talk about the issue. If I can be a voice for other women who are fed up, then I will do whatever I can to make things right.

This is not OK or something we should ignore. Getting grabbed is NOT just something that’s part of the bar scene and should be accepted. I have every right, as an American, to go out and not be touched or hit.

I am so glad Jen is speaking out about this. All women should have the right to go places without experiencing unwanted touching and harassment from men. Find ideas for what you can do to help end this problem. And if you’re in the DC area, check out the anti-street harassment work of HollaBack DC! and Defend Yourself and how you can get involved.

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Two year blogiversary & book giveaway

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I am giving away a free, signed copy of my forthcoming book about street harassment to commemorate the two-year anniversary of my blog (it’s tomorrow) & to honor all of the brave individuals who have shared their stories.

Who: YOU! Your friends, your family, your colleagues, your neighbors, etc.

What: Random drawing of names to determine the winner of the Stop Street Harassment book giveaway.

When: You have until 7:30 p.m. EDT on 5/26/10 to email me to be included. I’ll post the winner on this blog and email them around 8 p.m. EDT on 5/26. The book is available Aug. 30, and the winner will receive a mailed copy soon after that date.

Where: Email stopstreetharassmentATyahooDOTcom with your name.*

Why: To celebrate two years of blogging and collecting street harassment stories. A book giveaway is especially fitting as several blog posts from my first year are excerpted in it and many of my blog readers participated in the survey that helps inform the narrative.

How can you get the book if you don’t win?

You can pre-order the book today on Barnes & Noble (best price) or on Amazon.com. You can purchase it there starting on Aug. 30. My publisher mainly distributes to libraries, so in the fall, hopefully you can find it at a library near you.

And I’ll be doing another book give away on the book release date, August 30, so you can enter again then!

Two years…

Thank you for speaking out against street harassment and for showing the prevalence of this problem in women’s lives across these past two years. Let’s keep raising our voices and fighting this issue so that one day public places can be safe and welcoming for women!

* Note: I will not share your email address with anyone. However, unless you specify you do not want me to, I may include you in future emails about book-related news or street harassment events.

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Not even safe at a kids’ softball game

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I am a 42 year old mother. I didn’t realize “it” was on-going for the past 3 softball games. First day it started from one man, a divorced father of a female player. It was ten thousand questions, why isn’t your husband here, doesn’t he come to your daughter’s games? Invasive questions, why haven’t I see you here before? Are you happy in your marriage? Where did you go to university, how long have you been in this borough? I tried to deflect these increasingly uncomfortable questions.

Then it was you look pretty today. How is “Suz” today? I felt that he was leering at me during each game, while I attempted to watch my daughter play ball.

The third game was tonight. The girls were along the grassy area waiting for their turn at bat. I heard a few of them giggling and then one said the term “Justin Bieber lesbian web site”? (who knows what that meant) So I immediately got up to quietly remind them for speaking of inappropriate things during a public ball game.

When I returned to my “camp” chair, the accident/malpractice attorney father of one of the teenage players (that I barely know, only in that our daughter’s are on the same team) leaned over and said, “I guess she found your web site?” (Wink, wink) He thought it was hysterical.

I did get up tell him how offended I was, even challenged him in calling it sexual harassment and I spoke loudly in front of the other “posturing” men in suits along the grassy parent area. I called my husband, who came right down to the field and challenged the attorney that his behavior was unbecoming of an officer of the courts. I urged the attorney to look into some diversity/sexual harassment training program for his law firm.

But the bottom line, his behavior made me feel bad, dirty and sad even after I realized that it wasn’t me, it was harassment. I got this turned around feeling in my stomach and here it is almost midnight & I am left to “google” sexual harassment in public places, which lead me to find your website.

🙁

– Suz

Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Miss D.C. doesn’t like street harassment!

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Image via Miss DC

As my colleagues at HollaBack DC! show on their blog & map, Washington, D.C., is a hotbed of street harassment. Unsurprisingly, Miss D.C. is not immune to it.

Jen Corey, the current Miss D.C., said she avoids Adams Morgan and sticks to Georgetown or Dupont when she goes out at night because of the groping and sexual harassment she experiences at Adams Morgan. But this past Friday night, three different men in Georgetown disrespectfully and inappropriately touched her. By man number three she was fed up and slammed him against a wall.

From The Examiner:

“After this weekend, it seems Corey has taken this issue to be her latest platform, telling us ‘there is no reason for a girl to have to worry about being slapped … or touched when we go out.'”

Absolutely! I’m thrilled that Jen is bringing attention to harassment in public places – particularly to the disgusting groping that happens.

In my work on street harassment, I usually exclude discussing bars and clubs because it’s more acceptable to approach someone with the intent of meeting them there than it is on the street or at a bus stop. Also, you shouldn’t have to but if you really want to you can stop going to bars and clubs without much inconvenience (as I did a few times in college after being groped and grinded on when I did NOT want to be), but it’s pretty inconvenient to try to avoid your own street corner, bus stop, or neighborhood grocery store because of harassers.

That said, harassment, especially touching, happens FAR too often in public nightlife venues and it shouldn’t. Women should have the right to enjoy going out without being constantly approached and touched and chatted up. This harassment & assault must end!

Men at clubs, bars, and pubs, here is a message: Be respectful & above all else, keep your hands (& all other body parts) to yourselves unless you’ve been given explicit consent by the woman!

(thanks for the story tip @claudiaAAUW)

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They all have no respect for women

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I was riding my bike home. I saw a group of young men sitting on a stoop. I knew they would say something so I just rode on by like I wasn’t paying attention. One guy said, “What ya’ doing?”

I did not reply… then he yelled, “F**k You!”

I hate stupid ghetto men…

On the same bike ride home an older yard worker kept yelling, ‘Hey girl” at me…. I guess it doesn’t matter if the guy is older… they all have no respect for women. Btw… I was wearing shorts and a long sleeve baggy t shirt. Nothing fancy.

– North

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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