Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Anti-Black Woman Harasser in Arlington

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angry harasserI was in Arlington and walking to the train station. When walking on Quincy Street, I walked past a guy who was loading groceries into his car, which didn’t seem out of the ordinary, until he started calling at me.

“‘Scuse me, sweetheart,” he says. I know he’s trying to hit on me, and I don’t want to talk to a man I don’t know. I continue walking, he continues calling at me.

“Excuse me, lovely…excuse me, sweetheart…hello?…hello?…hello?” I continued to ignore him and walk. Though it was daylight out still, the street felt isolated to me, and I just didn’t want to respond to him. He gave me a funny vibe.

He then starts calling me names.

“Yo, Bumpyface!” he says. “Bumpyface. You got acne. You’re a bumpyface. You’re ugly.”

I know I don’t have the best skin in the world, and I am very touchy about it. His comments were so cruel. I don’t get how I was so “lovely” that he wanted to talk to me one minute, to being an “ugly bumpyface.” I pulled out my phone to snap his photo to submit to your site. At the time, he (and his friend who was in the vehicle) were laughing and thought it was funny.

“That’s why I didn’t respond to you in the first place,” I snapped. “Men like you have no respect for women. I don’t know you, and don’t want to talk to strange men.”

I spoke in a calm manner, I didn’t curse, so I don’t know why the hell he went from 0 to 60.

He got in my face, started thumping his chest, and approached me as if I were someone his own size.

“What you say to me? What you say? Huh, huh? Say it again, bitch, say it again! Fuck you bitch! Take my picture, bitch! That’s right, bitch!”

I started walking away, and he followed me.

“Fuck you, bitch! I HATE BLACK WOMEN!” he ranted. “I’m tired of black women! Black women ain’t shit! Black women are ugly! I don’t give a damn about BLACK WOMEN! Stupid bitch!”

Once again, if you hate black women so much, why talk to me?

He got really close to me and acted like he was going to punch me. He kept swinging fake punches close to me, and though he didn’t actually hit me I became fearful for my life. I started backing up into the street, even though cars were coming. I then started running, and he ran after me. I tried calling the cops on my phone, but I was nervous and couldn’t think straight because this guy was right in my space. Luckily some kind of action came into me. I saw someone getting into his car and yelled “CALL THE POLICE!” at the top of my lungs. He ignored me, got into his car and drove off.

The harasser finally got tired of chasing after me and terrifying me and ran back to his car, laughing. Unfortunately I couldn’t get a clear shot of his license plates. I just know they were Virginia plates (from their font style), and the first part was J_C (I don’t know the middle letter, and can’t remember the four numbers).

I finally managed to call the police, and ten minutes later (after this guy and his friend were long gone) an officer came. I showed him the photo I took of the guy, but his reaction was pretty nonchalant.

“You don’t know this guy, right?” he asked.
“No, I’ve never met him before,” I said.
“And you said you don’t live in the area, so you probably won’t see him again,” he said.
“But it’s scary that he just started cursing and swinging punches at me,” I said.
“This is actually a pretty safe neighborhood, ma’am,” the officer said. “And there’s not much we can do since you didn’t get his license plate. You probably won’t see him again since you’re not from here, but in the rare chance you do see him again give us a call.”

That was the least reassuring conversation I’ve had with an officer. I didn’t know how to react. I felt numb. I spent the rest of my walk in a numb zone. I stared at my feet and became non-responsive. People walking by brushed past me on the street and knocked into me, but I didn’t react. I felt as if I had no control over my own body and actions anymore and that’s the worst feeling in the world.

Walking home from Metro was hell. It had become pitch black and men were still trying to talk to me on the street. I once again didn’t respond, and thankfully they didn’t respond in crazed anger.

I know there’s a movement of men like this guy on the Internet who have blogs and YouTube channels devoted towards this racial misogyny, but to have it right in my face is something else. These men think they own black women, and when rejected by a woman of their own race they take it to the extreme. After the Asia McGowan/Anthony Powell murder/suicide in Detroit a few months back (another man who wanted black women while hating them at the same time, and made hateful videos about it on his YouTube channel), today’s incident reminded me that I am not safe and that my best interests aren’t important. It sickens me that someone will hate the whole gender of their own race simply because of the rejection of one individual. If this guy wanted me to start hating all black men to justify his sick actions, well he didn’t win. I can’t hate all black men because of the actions of one sick encounter on the street. His behavior reflects on him, not on all black men.

I can’t talk to my family and friends about this because they think I take a lot of risks when I’m out alone. They’d tell me I shouldn’t have taken his photo, they’d tell me I should’ve just responded to him when he tried to initiate a conversation with me, and they’d tell me I should’ve kept walking when he started to insult me. It’s not fair that I have to do everything as to not upset a harasser, but harassers can do and say what they please. Even if I did respond to his initial catcalls at me, and even if I just walked away and not done anything, there’s no guarantee that he wouldn’t have still gone mad.

After today, I have no choice but to be a docile, submissive woman. I don’t know what else to do. And after knowing the police don’t have my back, I have to do everything in my power to protect myself.

– Fearful

Location: N. Quincy Street (between Wilson and N. Glebe) – Arlington, VA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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I got 200

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Walking to my job one day I noticed a man masturbating to me walking down the street — he was in the passenger seat of a white van.

Coming home from a club late at night (into early morning) I was on the train heading home and a man sat next to me — too close — and eventually whispered into my ear, “I got 200.” I didn’t know what he was talking about at first, then it dawned on me that he was soliciting me. I felt weird but still the train had other people on it so I just said, loud enough for others to hear, “I’m not a prostitute, dude,” and the guy slinked off.

Those are two of the worst times.

– anonymous

Location: Chicago, IL

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Huffington Post Covers Street Harassment

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Big name media sources don’t often cover the problem of gender-based sexual harassment, or street harassment, so it is a big deal that the Huffington Post ran the story “When Hollered At, HollaBack!” today.

Here’s an excerpt and I encourage you to check it out in its entirety:

“Whatever the time of day or activity, many women have become accustomed to unwarranted gender-based street harassment. Unwanted cat-calls and even groping — or worse — are almost customary as we go about our daily lives in public environments.

While at times sounding harmless or even deceptively flattering — “Bless you for that body,” “I’m gonna take you home, beautiful” — any single experience of unsolicited commentary or behavior can be rife with racial, ethnic, gender and other implications that are the opposite of positive. Understanding these kinds of experiences as harassment is key at both individual and larger levels.

Without that vocabulary, behavior that is, in fact, unacceptable can become a normalized, daily occurrence, and alter the way we think about our self-esteem and personal safety. Ultimately, street harassment can transform the way we as women walk, dress, commute and live — such that our worldviews assume objectification and disrespect as status quo.

For many, gender-based street harassment has become unexceptional, yet the majority of people have not yet figured out an appropriate response to it.”

Exactly right! She then highlights the great work of my colleagues at Holla Back DC! and Holla Back NYC and their efforts to combat the problem. Congrats, ladies!

Don’t forget, if you don’t live somewhere with an active Holla Back, share your story on this blog via an anonymous online form.

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Trying to Change the Law

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From AP
Women protesting at the trial. Image from AP

Today was the trial for Sudanese journalist  Lubna Hussein, one of the women I reported on earlier who were arrested for wearing trousers in public. Most of the women received a flogging, but Hussein and two others elected to have a public trial in the hopes of raising awareness about the oppressiveness of the laws and to try to change them.

According to the AP:

“In an attempt to rally support, Hussein printed invitations to diplomats, international media, and activists to attend her trial which opened last week. She also resigned from her job in the U.N.’s public information office in Khartoum, declining the immunity that went along with the job to challenge the law.

Around 100 supporters, including many women in trousers as well as others in traditional dress, protested outside the court Tuesday.

Witnesses said police wielding batons beat up one of Hussein’s lawyers, Manal Awad Khogali, while keeping media and cameras at bay. No injuries were immediately reported.

‘We are here to protest against this law that oppresses women and debases them,’ said one of the protesters, Amal Habani, a female columnist for the daily Ajraas Al Hurria, or Bells of Freedom in Arabic.

While the police broke up the demonstration outside the Khartoum Criminal Court, the judge adjourned Hussein’s trial for a month to clarify whether her resignation has been accepted by the United Nations.”

How every brave of her and the other women. I hope their efforts won’t be in vain.

Also, as I said in my previous post: while this isn’t directly “street harassment” per say, a lot of discussion about street harassment ends up touching upon “what was she wearing” so I think this story is relevant from that aspect. Also, street harassment can be viewed as a kind of social control that keeps a lot of women off the streets at night and/or when they are alone and this incident in Sudan shows blatant and extreme forms of attempted social control over women.

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Freaked Out by an Elderly Woman

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I’m not sure if my story is particularly relevant, but I think it’s an example of how pervasive fear is in our lives.

I live in a European capital city where I almost never experience harassment. (Not speaking the native language also probably helps though, since I’d never know if I was being yelled at or not.)

I was getting on a public bus last week, trying to fight the crowd, when I felt someone put BOTH hands around my waist! Because I used to experience so much public harassment in the United States, I was incredibly freaked out and spun around scowling, ready to fight back against whatever strange man was touching me. Imagine my surprise when I turned to see an elderly woman smiling back at me a bit apologetically, struggling to keep her balance as the bus lurched forward. I could hardly be angry, but she’d absolutely terrified me! She didn’t seem to have any awareness about how her actions had affected me, and since I didn’t want to try speaking through our language barrier, I just sort of stared at her. She got off the bus one stop later. It was the only time a person has purposefully touched me in public in the year I’ve lived here. What a bizarre coincidence.

– anonymous

Location: European Capital City

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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