Advice Archives | Stop Street Harassment

Street Harassment Phone Hotline Launches Today

July 19, 2016 By HKearl

3.5 years after the idea for a street harassment hotline was hatched and six months after a plan was formed, I am thrilled to share that as of TODAY, anyone in the USA can call toll-free for support, help and advice about street harassment. The service is available 24/7, in English or Spanish.

855-897-5910

Help Spread the Word:

Download shareable social media images and post them on your accounts. There are also images that can be posted on websites and designs that can be printed as postcards or stickers.
Join our Thunderclap. We need at least 100 people signed up for the message to be sent out.
If you are willing to post physical copies of the hotline information (postcards, stickers) in your community (e.g. on community message boards, in public bathrooms, on lamp posts) and/or distribute them at events or conferences, please list your mailing address and I will send you some.

More about the Hotline:

Stop Street Harassment has partnered with the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) and Defend Yourself to launch the first-ever national street harassment hotline.

The phone service starts TODAY, July 19 (call: 855-897-5910), and an online (through secure IM) option will be available starting on August 10 via www.StopStreetHarassment.org.

The services both will be offered 24/7, in Spanish and English. People will be able to find emotional support, get advice for how to deal with harassers, learn what their legal rights are, and more.

Everything is in place – now we just need to spread the word so people know about it!

Many thanks to the 50+ people who donated to make it possible, to our Spanish language translation volunteers, to our graphics design volunteer, and to Defend Yourself and RAINN for partnering on this. It would not exist otherwise!!

USA: Engaging Male Allies to End Violence Against Women

December 14, 2015 By Correspondent

Meghna Bhat, Chicago, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

A few months ago, I came across Emma Watson’s brave efforts to promote gender equality. Her interview with Malala Yousafzai highlighted the need to address feminism and how this movement should include men as allies. As Watson correctly pointed out, “Let’s not make it scary to say you’re a feminist. I want to make it a welcoming and inclusive movement. Let’s join our hands and move together so we can make real change. Malala and I are pretty serious about it but we need you.”

It’s our collective responsibility, especially male allies, to create awareness about gender violence, prevent and intervene this vicious cycle.

My experiences growing up with positive male role models/allies and Watson’s message resonates with the research and advocacy of Dr. Jackson Katz. He is an educator, author, filmmaker and cultural theorist who is a pioneer in the fields of gender violence prevention education and media literacy. His 2013 speech on TED talk titled, “Violence against women—it’s a men’s issue” showed that domestic violence and sexual abuse, which are often labeled as “women’s issues,” are often “intrinsically men’s issues” and he “shows how these violent behaviors are tied to definitions of manhood.”

According to a report by the New York State Department of Health, research has consistently shown that a majority of men are conflicted about violence against women. Most of these men may not even “recognize when it is happening nor know how to stop it”. Another factor that can make men defensive and doubtful of participating in the efforts to end gender violence is “treating [or stereotyping] males as potential perpetrators.”

There are many social service agencies and organizations promoting and practicing this model of engaging men as allies to prevent and intervene gender-violence. Have you watched the powerful documentary “The Mask You Live In” by The Representation Project? I highly recommend it. I have found this film to be educating, inspiring and an eye-opening experience that needs to be screened to our children and youth.

This film focuses on boys’ and young men’s struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating America’s narrow definition of masculinity. Young children, especially boys, need to feel safe to be themselves and express their emotions without the fear of being bullied, labeled, mocked, or rejected by other children and adults. They must not feel pressured to fit within the problematic binary roles or other rigid frameworks of masculinity our society expects them to claim.

If you need further details of how these programs and agencies implement this model of engaging male allies or men as partners in combating gender violence, I have listed a few of the examples and resources that I have come across and found to be useful (including as teaching resources):

Mentors in Violence Prevention: A program intended to create public awareness about men’s violence against women, challenge how the mainstream society thinks, and initiating community dialogues between men and women to identify long-term tangible options.

Coaching Boys into Men: The only evidence-based prevention program designed to train high school coaches to teach their male athletes healthy relationship skills and that “violence never equals strength.”

Men as Partners: At EngenderHealth, this program includes working with “men to play constructive roles in promoting gender equity and health in their families and communities”. Through their interactive skills -building workshops and enhanced health care facilities among other services, they strive to confront negative stereotypes about being men and provide men with quality care.

Men Can Stop Rape: Works towards mobilizing men for creating cultures free from violence, especially men’s violence against women through their strengths and sustainable initiatives.

Movement against Sexual Violence: At the University of Illinois at Chicago, I am fortunate to have colleagues who represent and lead the Men against Sexual Violence, now called as the Movement against Sexual Violence. This student group aims to engage and involve people, especially male-identified allies to join in the fight against sexual violence. Through their workshops such as ‘Reimagining Masculinity’ and events, they encourage us to challenge the negative stereotypes and images of gender roles. Although I haven’t got an opportunity to attend these events myself, I am looking forward to being a part of these important and powerful dialogues and community conversations next semester!

Dr. Katz calls out to all men and women to stand up and advocate for changes to end violence against women. He further raises these very critical questions that we all need to think about:

“How can we do something differently? How can we change the practices? How can we change the socialization of boys and the definitions of manhood that lead to these current outcomes? These are the kind of questions that we need to be asking and the kind of work that we need to be doing?”

If you want more ideas for what men can do to prevent gender violence, click here.

Meghna is a doctoral candidate in the Criminology, Law, and Justice program at the University of Illinois at Chicago, with a specialization in Gender and Women Studies. She is currently working on her dissertation, which focuses on representations of violence against women in a widely viewed form of Indian popular culture, Bollywood cinema.

#16Days of Activism: 16 Empowering Responses (Day 15)

December 9, 2015 By HKearl

This is cross-posted from Pixel Project’s website.

The Pixel Project is pleased to share the fifth annual blog list of 16 memorable stories of women dealing with street harassment which has been kindly compiled by Holly Kearl, Founder of our partner, Stop Street Harassment, and one of our 16 Female Role Models of 2010.

Empowering Response #1: #WhatMySHSaid – Instagram

Chloe Parker has been harassed since she was 12 years old. Now 17, she started an Instagram hashtag #WhatMySHSaid where people write their age and location and what their street harasser said to them. Many posts are liked thousands of times. Chloe wrote, “The average age is twelve [for the story submissions] and the average reaction is disbelief, but with the topic comes horrible responses as well. I have heard people defending these pedophiles who creep on these girls, or say that street harassment is because of what the girl was wearing. We live in a culture of blaming the victims, and by saying a twelve-year-old is asking to be followed as she walks home from school is a testament to this. We as a society can and should change this culture that we promote and live in. It should not be up to the victims to change their lives and patterns to make harassers comfortable. This is not a problem that should be ignored.”

Empowering Response #2: Parking Attendant Woes – Charlotte, North Carolina, USA

Every day for two weeks as a woman left a parking garage in Charlotte, North Carolina, the parking attendant would stare at her and say he wanted to see her smile and other similar remarks. She felt uneasy, and, as he continued day after day, she felt anxious and stressed. One day she pa0nicked and drove away while he was still talking. She resolved to talk to him and the next day. She asked him to stop telling her to smile as it made her feel uncomfortable. He said okay. She wrote, “I hope he’ll think before he makes these unwanted comments to anyone else. I didn’t complain to the company since he made an indication of respecting my wishes. I don’t plan to park there any more since I don’t want to see him again, but being able to say something took such a weight off my shoulders. I didn’t even realise how much this was affecting me until after I said something.”

Empowering Response #3: Standing Up Against Harassers – Kabul, Afghanistan

After witnessing a friend drop out of school because of harassment, Shafi in Kabul, Afghanistan, began standing up to harassers. She wrote, “Whenever I see people harassing girls or women in streets and university, I go to them and talk reasonably with them to stop them and explain to them that their act is wrong. I ask what if it happens to their sister or mother, what then? Now it is the time for everyone to start vanishing this bad and shameful culture. Yes, if we want to change then we can. We can start it right now!”

Empowering Response #4: Ladders Are Useful Items

Empowering Response #5: Caught on CCTV

After a drunk man grabbed a woman on a subway and kissed her, she reported him to the transit police. They found him on the train’s CCTV and circulated his image to local police stations. She wrote, “If you experience street harassment, report it to the police. It will make you feel proactive and powerful – and they might even catch the perpetrator.”

Empowering Response #6: No Free Pass for the Police – San Jose, CA, USA

A woman in San Jose, California, noticed a police sergeant (not in uniform) exposing himself and masturbating in a car. She turned away but he drove his car and parked so she had to see him again. She took photos of him and his license plate and he fled. She filed a police report and the investigators discovered he was a 13-year veteran of the police department. He was arrested and placed on administrative leave.

Empowering Response #7: Taking Harassment Seriously – Liverpool, United Kingdom

Two men in a car in Liverpool, UK, harassed a Russian woman. She felt too scared to say anything, but she ran back, called the police, reported what happened and gave their license plate number. She wrote, “The inspector rang me back to make sure I know they take it seriously. Then after an hour a female officer came to see me. It turned out it was a crime as section 5 public order offence, besides it was gender-based. The officer visited his house, etc. He now has a criminal record. Ladies, you don’t have to take this shit!”

Empowering Response #8: Facing Down Harassers… and Winning! – Tennesee, USA

When Bryanna was in college in Tennessee, a group of men would hang out by the door and harass her daily with sexual slurs. She felt humiliated and would try to run past them before they could say anything. But one day she decided to confront them. She wrote, “They whistled and said, ‘Damn!’ really loudly. So I turned around, marched right up to them (at least eight of them) and shouted, ‘What do you expect to happen from this? Do you really think a girl will turn around and say ‘Oh wow that’s such a compliment, being told my ass is fine by these complete strangers. Do you want to hook up?’ Has it worked for you yet?’ By the look on their stunned faces, I answered for them, ‘No, I didn’t think so. Get a life!’ and stormed off. The rush I felt was incomparable to anything else. I felt strong – like I could take care of myself.”

Empowering Response #9: Singing Against Harassment

Singer Empress Of wrote a song about street harassment called “Kitty Kat.” She said in an interview, “I remember a stranger saying something nasty to me on the street while walking home. I was so mad, but I couldn’t say anything back at that moment. What would be the point? When I got back I started to work on this aggressive sound on a track. As soon as I turned the mic on to record, I started to sing what I wanted to say to that guy on the street, but now I get to sing it every night in front of a crowd.”

Empowering Response #10: “That’s NOT a compliment!” – San Diego, CA, USA

A woman was walking her dog through downtown San Diego, California, when a man told her, “You have no idea how badly I want to play with your boobs.” She told him that his comment was inappropriate and he apologised. But then he told her she should “take it as a compliment.” She had already passed him, but turned around to yell back, “That’s NOT a compliment!” She wrote, “Let the harasser know what he is doing is wrong and unwelcome and that it’s not a compliment in order to help convert him to viewing it as a bad thing.”

Empowering Response #11: Sparking a National Debate – United Kingdom

After weeks of trying various tactics for dealing with street harassers along her route to work in the UK (the harassment included men purposely blocking her path), Poppy Smart took the matter to the police. She said in an interview, “It made me feel really uncomfortable and the fact it went on for so long was the main reason I reported it. If it had just been an isolated incident – one, two, three, four times – maybe I could probably brush it off because these things happen and you have to kind of accept these people’s ignorance.” Poppy says she spoke to the owner of the building site. “He just sort of apologised. He obviously can’t control all of his staff all of the time and I appreciated that. I just wanted them to realise it is offensive and I wanted it to stop.” Her story sparked a national debate about the issue.

Empowering Response #12: Sanctuary from Harassment – New York City, USA

A man on the train in New York City rubbed his penis against a woman’s butt. She elbowed him but he kept doing it. Because of the crowd, she couldn’t easily get away. A woman nearby noticed what was happening and gave up her seat for her saying, “Come sit down, that man is trying to rub himself on you!”

Empowering Response #13: Not Remaining Silent – London, United Kingdom

Y.E. in London, UK, was the target of public masturbation on the Tube. No one else was on and when she moved away, he followed her, only zipping up his pants after a man entered the carriage. When YE got off the train, he followed and she ran to report him to a transit worker. The police took her report. She also decided to write about what happened. “I hesitated several times whilst starting to write this and contemplated just keeping it to myself, considering the crude nature of this incident. However, it has come to my attention that this is no longer becoming a ‘once in a blue moon issue’ and it could have easily been burdened on a child, family member, or another member of the public. Looking back at the past struggles in history, since when has any change occurred from remaining silent?”

Empowering Response #14: Anti-Street Harassment Workshops – Romania

Aila in Romania used to face harassment from high school students as she walked from her hostel to the university. Now she and a group of other women at the NGO FILIA are in the process of working with that high school to bring street harassment awareness workshops to the students. She wrote, “Change can be done. I am not a victim anymore, I am a person who can bring change and can help the other girls who are still living in that hostel.”

Empowering Response #15: Open Letter Tactic – Washington D.C., USA

Sara in Washington, DC wrote an open letter to the man who harassed her. In it, she thanked a woman who spoke up. “To the woman on the sidewalk who said, ‘That’s so rude’ and shook her head when he drove off, thank you. Your three simple words in solidarity were my saving grace and snap back to reality, that no one, not even myself, has the right to disrespect my body. So, dear man in the blue minivan, I will use my body in the best way I know how — to share this story and inspire others to feel a little braver when they step into a crosswalk. To be what the woman on the sidewalk was to me: solidarity.”

Empowering Response #16: Reporting an Unwanted Grope – San Francisco, CA, USA

After a man groped AB at a shopping mall in San Francisco, California, she dropped her bag and ran after him. She lost him, but filed a police report. She wrote, “I’ve been harassed many times, but I’d never run after someone. Something snapped in me. And something broke when no one would help. I was proud that enough was finally enough, and I did something, even though he got away with it. At the very least, it’s caused me to talk about it and snap back when I get hollered at on the street.”

Ireland: A Letter Challenging Verbal Abuse

October 25, 2015 By HKearl

*Jenny Stanley. Image via The Independent*

Last week, Jenny Stanley wrote a powerful open letter about street harassment for The Irish Times. In it she describes the many times she faced street harassment as she simply commuted home from work at night. Her closing is heartbreaking:

“I walked home. I opened the door and sat in my kitchen. I cried. I was so very, very tired. I knew then that just because I was home it did not mean it was all over. I too am exhausted, not only for myself but for those who have had and will have similar experiences, and the innumerable amount of men who do value and respect women and anyone who believes that gender should not influence a person’s right to be viewed as an equal in the eyes of another.”

Her letter has been covered by several outlets, including Cosmo, MTV, Elite Daily, Bustle, and the Huffington Post.

I joined Jenny and Tom Meagher of the White Ribbon Project on an episode of The Women’s Podcast for The Irish Times. I was asked to talk about the “right way” to respond to street harassers and shared how there is no right way. We have to do whatever we can to feel safe and get out of a frustrating, annoying, upsetting and sometimes really scary situation. And then we can do what we can to speak out and be part of the cultural shift so that street harassment is no longer acceptable or commonplace.

Tom spoke about men’s role and how to reach boys on the issue, which is so, so important.

I applaud Jenny for taking a stand — even if she didn’t feel able at the time the harassment happened, she is clearly having an impact now.

POP to STOP Street Harassment

January 22, 2015 By HKearl

Rachelle in CA has a new resource for you! Check it out.

“I’m a graphic designer living in California. This last summer, after experiencing repeated harassment while walking around my hometown, I had enough and decided to come up with my own ‘designer’ way to combat street harassment.

As a naturally happy, non-confrontational person, I needed a solution that fit my personality. Verbally confronting a harasser or taking their photo as revenge is not something I can do. I’m sure there are other victims of harassment who share my desire for peaceful expression so I decided to provide my creation (100% FREE) to others via my site http://poptostop.com.

The uniquely folded, pocket-sized Pop to Stop poster expands and contracts in one fluid motion providing a convenient, non-verbal, and non-aggressive way for victims of street harassment to respond to their antagonizers.”