When I was in middle school, our Islamic Studies teacher always told us about the concept of Enjoining good and forbidding evil, however he only applied the concept to women. We were 12 to 17 years old. Mere boys. He would tell us that if we saw women going to bazar too often or wearing bad hejab and “improper” clothes, we could prevent them from doing so. He would tell us to tell the women to stay at home, hit them or even kick them. He would tell us that it has sawab: that we would be reward. For a really long time, I really thought the teacher was right. I believed that women who didn’t dress “properly” were the only ones to be harassed and that they deserved it. Since then, I have opened my eyes and look around for myself. I have realized how wrong his teachings were. I have learned that it is not about what women are wearing because I have seen men harass girls who were wearing burqas. For many men harassment has become a hobby. I have realized that the problem is in the minds of these men. Street harassment is a men’s issue. I know that even now many of my classmates still think the teacher was right so contribute to a system that perpetuates women’s harassments and protects harassers. To fight harassment, we must understand it.
One of the worse things we could do is belittle the problem of street harassment. This is a very big problem for women in our country and we know who causes it. Ultimately, the problem will not end until those men who engage in it, stop harassing women. Some of these men do not realize what impact their actions have on women. They do not know that women don’t enjoy harassment. Some men seem to think that they have a right to make comments about women’s appearances. As a man, I know that no one gave them such a right. Not religion, not the Holy Quran, not even traditions. Nothing allows men to behave in this way. We should also realize that it doesn’t matter what women are wearing.
In addition to being inaccurate, it is simply presumptuous and rude to justify men’s behaviors because of women’s clothing. We, men, are not animals. We can control our mouths, our bodies and our thoughts. A woman’s clothing should not drive us wild. Another important part of the problem is the way in which people try to fight harassment. Rarely does anyone say, “stop harassing me because I am person and I want to be treated with respect.” Rather, people say, “would you want someone to treat your sister or mom this way?” The problem is that harassers don’t care about this. Many of them don’t even allow their own family members outside. Also, we shouldn’t respect women because they are sisters or mothers, but because they are human. We must emphasis our common humanity.
Instead of belittling the problem or telling women to dress differently, if you want to do something to stop harassment as a man in our country do the following five things.
1: Start from yourself and recognize that no one has the right comment or harass women based on their clothing.
2: If someone is harassing a girl or a woman don’t be a silent bystander.
3: Use your words and show with your actions that harassment is not something you will accept or ignore.
4: If women are having a problem with men in public, don’t automatically assume they need your help. They might not feel safe getting your help. They might be afraid of creating a fight. Don’t immediately act like a hero and start hitting people. Ask the women if they need help. If they said, “no.” Respect that. You don’t want to make things worse.
5: Using social media and other media to advocate against street harassment. Every man can campaign to change the views of other men. This will create a ripple effect.
By Mustafa Raheel, Dukhtarane Rabia (Daughters of Rabia): A blog on social justice in Afghanistan
Poster text: The cause of street harassment is not in the way women dress, but in the way some men think.
