Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
This is the third year of our volunteer blog correspondents program. The first cohort of 2015 (not all are pictured) will be writing about street harassment issues in their communities for the next four months. They hail from nine countries and six continents and will bring great global perspectives to the blog. Here is the first post, by LB in the USA.
LB Klein, Georgia, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent
**Trigger Warning** for themes of gender-based violence, nonconsensual touching, adults asking children to commit violent acts
Near the end of a new Italian viral video dubbed “Slap Her: Children’s Reactions,” a man off camera asks boys to slap a girl. They refuse. Then comes the tagline “In the kids’ world, women don’t get hit.”
In theory, I would be ecstatic to see a PSA on this topic reach 12.5 million viewers, particularly one that engages young people, especially boys, in the conversation. But “Slap Her” is not that video, it only masquerades as a PSA about gender-based violence. In reality, it doesn’t actually address the critical global public health problem of gender-based violence. Instead, it trivializes the issue while it perpetuates the exact cultural norms that perpetuate violence.
I watched this video and felt emotional, not because I was moved by the message of “Slap Her,” but because I was deeply uncomfortable. Here are three reasons why:
1. Martina is depicted as a prop, not a person.
The video begins on a light note with the boys answering questions about their names, their ages, what they want to be when they grow up, and why they want to pursue those careers. There is significant time dedicated to helping us get to know the boys and who they hope to become. It’s impossible not to like them and feel a connection.
Romantic music swells, and–enter Martina. Martina isn’t asked any questions, and we are not given exposition to see her as a real person. She is literally voiceless. We hear about her only through the boys’ descriptions of her appearance. The one adjective used to describe her (repeatedly) is “pretty.” We don’t find out about Martina’s goals for the future. While the boys are full characters in the story, Martina is just a prop.
The off-camera male voice asks the boys to talk about what they like about Martina, to caress her, and to make funny faces at her. In the video’s climax, they are asked to “slap her, hard.” The boys are depicted as having the agency to obey or disobey the voice, but what about Martina’s agency? She is not asked for her consent. In fact, she is completely silent and looks nervous throughout. While the video sends a message that even young boys know that hitting a girl is wrong, it also depicts girls as lacking in bodily autonomy. What if this so-called “social experiment” had gone the way of Milgram, and the boys had obeyed the authority figure and hit Martina? Does anyone ask her how she feels?
2. Gender-based violence is oversimplified to a slap.
This video reduces gender-based violence to a slap. In reality, abusers would rarely, if ever, (knowingly) slap a woman on camera. Abusers are also rarely strangers. I am NOT relieved that the boys don’t hit Martina on cue. I would be truly shocked if one of them did.
Gender-based violence involves power and control and abuse that is not only physical but emotional, psychological, economic, and spiritual. Physical violence can certainly be a part of abuse, but it is used as one tactic to gain control and dominance. Abuse typically escalates over time and includes dominance, humiliation, isolation, threats, intimidation, and denial. A small percentage of men hit their partners, but they are allowed to get away with it because of the exact culture of male dominance that “Slap Her” perpetuates.
The boys say they don’t slap Martina because men shouldn’t hit (pretty) girls, and they’re “real men.” The moral of the video seems to be that even young boys know it’s not okay to hit women, thus shaming any adult who would think gender-based violence is acceptable. By framing the boys’ responses in this way, the video uses the exact gender stereotypes that perpetuate violence to speak out against it. Violence is reduced to a slap, and the boys are not called to question their power. These gender stereotypes limit children of all genders and can be, quite literally, deadly for women and trans people.
The same logic that keeps these boys from slapping Martina props up male entitlement. Street harassment is so often dismissed because women and girls should “take it as a compliment.” This video endorses Martina as a pretty thing for the boys to desire, admire, and even touch, as long as they don’t hit her on command. That is not revolutionary. That’s patriarchy.
3. It’s not a PSA; it’s Clickbait.
I asked an Italian friend to help me wade through information about this site and video, as I don’t speak Italian beyond what I’ve learned visiting the restroom at Macaroni Grill. It appeared so abruptly that I needed to know its origins.
“Slap Her” is not a PSA created in partnership with survivors or violence prevention organizations. Fanpage.it is a news site focused on generating clickbait. Luca Iavatore, who has been identified as the off-screen voice, is a video journalist/cultural media reporter for Fanpage.it.
There is no trigger warning. There are no resources listed for survivors, abusers, or folks who are triggered by its content. There are no links to websites to learn more about the issue. There is no call to action. There is not context or discussion of who debriefed with the boys or Martina. In fact, there is no other information on Fanpage.it about gender-based violence. This video is generating profit for Fanpage.it, and there is no information on their site about proceeds going to benefit gender-based violence advocacy or prevention causes. The intentions of folks at Fanpage.it might be excellent.
However, without further information, I can’t help but think “Slap Her” is a publicity stunt. The children in this video, and the viewers’ emotions, are being exploited, and Fanpage.it is pocketing advertising dollars. It would be a truly brilliant marketing ploy, if it weren’t completely unethical. The creators of this video owe its viewers, the children who were filmed, and survivors an apology.
One small edit could have taken this video from harmful to thought-provoking. The video ends, seemingly for comic relief, with one of the boys asking the off-camera man “Can I kiss her on the cheek or on the lips?” One line of additional dialogue could have completely changed the message to one of liberation. “Slap Her” could have simply added: “Why don’t you ask Martina?” That one line could have taken the boys’, and the audience’s, commitment to ending violence one step further by acknowledging Martina’s bodily autonomy and humanity. Without this addition, “Slap Her” is a missed opportunity at best and a harmful perpetuation of status quo at worst.
LB is an Atlanta-based advocate and educator dedicated to ending gender-based violence, supporting survivors, and advancing social justice. You can follow her on twitter @LB_Klein.
Do you feel passionately about ending street harassment and do you like to write? We need YOU!
Stop Street Harassment is one of the top street harassment websites in the world and we’re recruiting new members for our first Blog Correspondents Program cohort of 2015. This is an unpaid, volunteer opportunity. Build your resume and add your voice to the global conversation about this important topic!
Your words will be read: the SSH blog receives an average of 30,000 unique readers per month.
Assignment:
From January to April, correspondents in the first cohort must commit to writing one blog post per month about street harassment issues in their community, region or country, four posts total. The topics could include incidents of street harassment covered in the news, activism to stop it, interviews with street harassment activists, and street harassment in popular culture, traditions or the news. You can also write pieces that tie street harassment to relevant related issues (such as racial profiling/racism, online harassment, and campus rape).
We aim to have geographic diversity among our cohort members. People of all genders, ages, regions are welcome to apply.
Applying:
Please complete this form by December 22, 2014. Applicants will be notified by December 27 and the term will begin January 1.
NOTE: If you prefer to write in a language other than English, please also indicate what language is most comfortable for you and you can send your writing sample in that language.
Diana Hinova, Sofia, Bulgaria, SSH Blog Correspondent
In an earlier post I outlined the findings from the Runners’ Survey on perceptions of safety in Bulgaria. In short, when asked about specific forms of street harassment while running, 15% of men and 51% of women report having experienced at least one form.
A lively discussion followed when the results were shared in the public Facebook group Running for fitness. Competitions. Below are some excerpts of the public discussion, in my own translation, names removed.
In my opinion there are some downright absurd interpretations, delusions and overblown comments (oh, the internet). Many runners were open to a discussion of the topic and its gender dimension, and it is encouraging to see some male runners sensitively try to understand where such concerns come from.
But please: take a look and make your own conclusions. One final word before I leave you to it – @takebackthetech is running an open video campaign on whether and how women’s voices and women’s issues around violence are silenced online.
A (man): This seems to me like a serious issue. 50% of women have been harassed in one way or another…
B (woman): Absolutely. It happens to me all the time, especially when running after dark.
C (man): I think it’s no smaller problem that it’s happened to 15% of men also?!?
D (man): And I worry that I startle people when I’m running in the park… haha. There’s no way to eliminate these obnoxious guys. If you encounter them, signal to the nearest fellow-runner! He will help you. After all not many women run after dark. Ladies, I suggest you run with a friend! Thank God I’m a man!
E (woman): That percentage among women seems exaggerated to me. I mean I take it many of them are just lying.
F (woman): Why would they lie ???
E (woman): Hahaha why do you think? For attention and to be popular. I’m at the gym right now. No one ever bothers me and in the gym.
There’s no unwanted attention. There are subconscious signals for attention, and poor selection of the place and time for sports. Well I’m not going to the local gym at Lavov most with the arabs and the gypsies. I’m not making sexy eyes at every man and I’m not “fearing rapists”. I’m not picking crappy clothes. Things like that.
G (man): Imagine someone has recently started running. They’re not sure what they’re doing to begin with, let alone look convincing to others. Usually it shows and maybe this contributes to malicious interest. People who have ingrained training habits since childhood probably don’t have this problem, but there are others too.
H (woman): [E], unfortunately no one is 100% safe. I’ve been assaulted twice (luckily with no consequences apart from the fright) and both times it was daylight and in populated areas. I wasn’t dressed provocatively, nor did I look insecure.
F (woman): I agree with [H], just didn’t want to argue with [E] because that’s a lost cause. Both assaults on me happened in daylight during the summer. […]
C (man): If the goal was rape, then that sounds really scary, not that getting mugged is a picnic, but…
If this is really the case and you encounter these guys so often … I don’t know, but somehow we have to bring attention to this matter. It may already be known, but not acknowledged…
Diana has a Master’s in Public Policy from Georgetown University and works as a consultant to INGOs. Follow her on Twitter @dialeidoscope or letnimletni.blogspot.com.
България: Да си тичаща жена – обществен отзвук
Според Анкета на тичащите за усещането за безопасност (виж тук), 15% от мъжете и 51% от жените са срещали уличен тормоз по време на тичане в България.
Данните провокираха разгорещена дискусия в публичната група във Фейсбук Бягане за здраве. Състезания. По-длу са някои от коментарите в публично достъпната доискусия, имената са премахнати.
Според мен има някои направо абсурдни реакции, илюзии, и преувеличени коментари (е, това е интернет все пак). Други бегачи са по-открити за обсъждане по темата и ролята на пола в нея. Окураващо е, че някои бегачи мъже се опитват наистина да разберат причините за подобни протеснения.
Но моля: прочетете и си напрвете свои изводи.
А (мъж): Top of Form
АА Това на мен ми изглежда като огромен проблем. 50% от жените са били закачани по един или друг начин…
Б (жена): Абсолютно. И на мен ми се случва постоянно, особено като бягам вечерно време
В (мъж): На мен ми се струва не по-малък проблем, че 15% от мъжете – също ?!?
Г (мъж): Aз пък се притеснявам, че понякога бягайки стряскам хората в парка… haha Няма начин такива нахални субекти да липсват. Ако видите такива подайте сигнал на най-близкия колега-бегач!Той ще ви помогне. Все пак не са много бягащите жени в тъмното. Госпожиците, съветвам, да бягат с другарче! Господи благодаря ти че съм мъж!
Д (жена): За мен този процент при жените изглежа завишен.
Т.е. приемам че доста от тях просто лъжат .
Е (жена): Защо им е да лъжат ???
Д (жена): Хахаа а защо според теб ?
За внимание и за да се правят на интересни .
В момента съм в залата . Сама . Никой никога не ме закача и в залите .
Няма нежелано внимание. Има несъзнавани знаци за внимание , и лоша подборка на местата и времето за спорт . Е няма да ида в кварталната зала на Лъвов мост при арабите и циганите .
Няма да гледам прелъстително всеки мъж .няма да се “страхувам от насилници ” .няма да подбирам кофти дрехи . Е такива неща .
Ж (мъж): Предтавете си, че човек тича от скоро. Той самия още не е сигурен какво прави, камо ли да изглежда убедителен за околните. Обикновенно това личи и може би създава повод за злонамерен интерес. Хора с изградени спортни навици от деца едва ли имат този проблем, но има и други.
З (жена): [Д] , за съжаление никой не е застрахован. Мен са ме нападали 2 пъти (за щастие без последствия като изключим страха) и и 2та пъти беше през деня и на места, на които има хора. Нито съм била облечена предизвикателно, нито съм изглеждала неуверена.
Е (жена): Съгласна съм с [З] просто не исках да споря с [Д], защото там каузата е загубена. И моите две нападения са били по светло и през лятото. Едното на пътя след табелата Стара Загора, а другото в града по път, по който минават сравнително малко коли и който води до парка. Добре, че бягам сравнително бързо както вече казах…. Радвай се [Д], че не са те нападали…..
В (мъж): Какво значи нападали са ви? Искали са да ви оберат или нещо по-лошо? Ако целта е била насилване, това звучи доста страшно, не че обира е нещо незначително, но …
Ако на истина е така и ако такива индивиди са толкова често срещани … не знам, но трябва по някакъв начин да се привлече внимание към проблема. Ако и той да е негласно известен …
Laura Bustamante, Lima, Peru, SSH Blog Correspondent
Conversando con una compañera canadiense me dijo: “en Perú el acoso sexual callejero es muy fuerte, lo peor es que te acostumbras, te cansas y quedas en silencio”. Es verdad, una se cansa, se acostumbra, lo toma como parte de su vida, como este tipo de violencia sexual no es tan atroz se vuelve tolerable y aceptable, “así es pues”, te dicen, “que vas a hacer”, es decir, como mujer no puedes hacer nada y te debes conformar.
La exaltación de la pasividad femenina
Entiendo que muchas mujeres callen cuando son acosadas debido a la naturalización, pasividad y el miedo. Se educa niñas pasivas, delicadas y dulces, y a niños competitivos y agresivos, no se enseña a los hombres a no violar pero se enseña a las mujeres a cuidarse. Además, una mujer piensa: “si este hombre me falta el respeto así, puede hacer algo peor si respondo”, tiene miedo ante el riesgo de violencia física porque un hombre tiene más fuerza física y los cobardes aprovechan eso.
Pero no siempre se justifica el silencio, se trata de saber en qué momento defenderte, y no sobrevalorar el peligro, en una calle solitaria es mejor callar, pero si es día con gente alrededor es un derecho y deber contigo misma el defenderte. Que el acosador te puede insultar o gritar para silenciarte, si, puede… pero peor es cuando quien te violenta y te silencia es otra mujer.
Hay que reemplazar la pasividad por sororidad
Es paradójico que tu primer modelo de mujer sea la primera en silenciarte. La primera vez que me enfrenté a mi acosador callejero estaba con mi madre, pensé: con ella somos dos, pero ella me calló y llamó la atención porque él me podía hacer algo peor. ¡Gracias madre! me enseñaste que 2 mujeres ante un hombre somos menos.
El otro día, 6 chicas se quejaban que un profesor acosaba a sus alumnas, una no denunció porque su mamá le dijo “sin pruebas es tu palabra contra la de él, no te van a creer y vas a pasar un mal rato” WTF!! Hasta que una genio opinó “el profesor no haría eso si las chicas no le siguen el juego, yo pongo mi cara de trasero y no se me acerca”.
¿Poner tu cara de trasero? La lógica que debes andar con cara anti-violación #MyAntiRapeFace para no ser violada, culpabiliza a las chicas ignorando que se quejaban por el “coqueteo” indeseado y olvida que el profesor está abusando de su autoridad.
Culpar y humillar a la mujer acosada es público, cuando una chica se quejó porque le metieron la mano, una señora le recriminó “por salir con esa falda provocas a los hombres”. Mientras, una estúpida conductora de TV opina “chicas hay que entender a los ‘pobres caballeros’ que nosotras también provocamos con esas falditas”… WTF!!
Bajo la cultura de la violación el acoso no es violencia, normaliza y justifica la violencia sexual, culpa o silencia a la víctima, y hasta bromean, una vez dos mujeres decían riéndose de una chica con short y tacones: “si yo me visto así por mi casa, me violan y termino con un hijo” ¿Mujeres en serio?, la violación da risa… mi culpa por vestirme así.
Otra genio dice “Pierdes tu tiempo cuando respondes, con mi silencio les doy indiferencia, mejor ignorarlos”. Pobre ilusa confunde la pasividad con defensa, olvida que una realidad no se cambia con el silencio y que la violencia no se acaba hasta que dices ¡basta!
Y es contradictorio como esta pasividad se torna en agresividad, cuando culpan y censuran a las mujeres que protestan y no cumplen con el rol pasivo, como una mujer que comenta en un fan page “Adáptense viven en Perú, a mí me dicen cosas horribles en la calle y no ando quejándome, dejen de hacerse las víctimas, no sean hipócritas, muchas mujeres buscan la atención de los hombres para sacarles plata”.
Esas malas compañeras te silencian a viva voz cuando te defiendes porque ellas no lo hacen, parece que vuelcan su frustración y miedo contenidos en su pasividad contra las que no siempre callamos, como la vez que respondí cuando un taxista nos gritó cosas sexuales, y una de las chicas con la que estaba me llamó la atención diciendo “¡ya Laura cállate no grites!”
Ya es tiempo que las mujeres abracen la sororidad, que significa hermandad, unión y apoyo mutuo, defendernos y empoderarnos, pensar en colectivo. Estas mujeres deben entender que cuando nos acosan en la calle no es porque me visto así. Nos acosan porque somos mujeres. Cuando atacan a una nos atacan a todas, y es absurdo que una mujer ataque a otra.
La mayoría de mujeres peruanas que conocí no consideran el acoso sexual callejero como violencia, porque eso sería reconocer que son víctimas, no quieren ser vistas como exageradas que se quejan de naderías, piensan que ser víctima es vergonzoso y de cobardes, pero al contrario “pecar por silencio cuando deberíamos protestar es lo que nos hace cobardes”.
Nuestro miedo está sobredimensionado por la pasividad femenina como modelo de mujer, y es preocupante porque esa es la estrategia para mantener el círculo de violencia machista, nos hace tener más miedo y callar cuando deberíamos denunciar, o peor aún, cuando no nos defendemos, callamos a las compañeras que lo hacen, olvidamos que cuando una mujer se defiende nos defiende a todas, está avergonzando y debilitando al acosador que mañana podría acosarte a ti, a tu hija, hermana o amiga, está generando un cambio, porque él lo pensara dos veces antes de acosar a otra mujer porque se dará cuenta que no todas callamos.
Sororidad en vez de pasividad compañeras, ¡sororidad!
Laura ha estudiado Administración en Turismo en Universidades de Perú y Barcelona, y Estudios de Género en la ONG Flora Tristán. La puedes seguir en Twitter en @laeureka.
When the Ones who Silence You are other Women
A Canadian acquaintance told me, “In Peru the street sexual harassment is very strong; the worst of it is when you get used to it, you get tired and at the end you stay silent.” Truth! One gets used to, tired and takes it as part of her life. As this type of sexual violence is not too terrible it becomes tolerable and acceptable, “this is the way it is”, they say, “what can you do,” that is: as a woman you can do nothing and you must resign yourself.
The praise of female passivity
I understand why many women keep silence when they are harassed due to naturalization, passivity and fear. Society educates passive, delicate and sweet girls, and competitive and aggressive boys. Guys aren’t taught not to rape but women are taught to take care of themselves. At the end, a woman thinks, “If this man is so disrespectful with me like this, he can harm me if I respond,” and, fearing the risk of physical violence, she won’t say a thing because a man has more physical strength and some cowards abuse that.
But to remain in silence is not always justified. It is about knowing when to defend yourself, and not overestimating the danger. On an empty street it may be better not to say anything. But if the harassment happens in the daylight with people around, it is right and a duty to defend yourself. The harasser could insult or shout you louder to silence you, but the worst is when the one who silences you is another woman.
We must replace passivity for sisterhood
Ironically your first female model is likely the first woman to shut you up. The first time I confronted my street harasser I was with my mother, I felt more secure with her and I thought, with she by my side we were two, but she told me off me because according to her, “I was risking myself and he could do something worse.” Thanks mom for teaching me that two women are less than a man.
The other day, six students complained of a teacher who “flirts” with his students. One student told me that she didn’t accused him because her mother told her “you have no evidence, it is your word against his, they won’t believe you and you will have a rough time.” WTF! And a “genius” student said, “The teacher would not do that if the girls didn’t go with it. I give him my pissed off face and he doesn’t approach me.” To put a pissed off face!! The logic seems like practicing #MyAntiRapeFace to not be raped; she blames the students, ignoring that the teacher is abusing his authority.
Humiliation and victim-blaming is a public practice, when a young woman complained that a guy groped her in the bus, an old woman reproached, “You provoke men if you wear that skirt.” While a female TV presenter recently said, “Girls you need to understand these ‘poor gentlemen’ that we (women) also provoke them by wearing those little skirts” … WTF !!
Under rape culture, street harassment is not a type of violence, it is normalized and justified sexual violence. Rape culture guilts or silences the victim, and even people joke about it. Once, I heard two women laughing at a woman in shorts and heels, saying: “If I dress like that in my neighborhood, I’d get raped and pregnant, ahah.” Seriously women? Being raped is a joke… and my fault for dressing in a certain way.
Another “genius” said, “You are wasting your time when you respond to them. With my silence I give them indifference, so it’s better to ignore them.” This deluded young woman confuses passivity with defense, forgetting that reality is not changed with silence and violence does not end until you say stop!
It is contradictory how some women turn their passivity into aggression toward their female peers by blaming and criticizing other women who protest and don’t meet the passive role. A woman wrote on a street harassment fan page, “You have to adapt to our reality, we live in Peru, men tell me horrible things in streets but I’m not complaining. Stop playing the victim, you are hypocrites when many women seek the attention of men to get money from them.”
These kind of women silence you loudly when you defend yourself because they don´t do it. It seems that they turn their frustration and repressed fear against the women who do not always remain silent, like that day when I responded to a taxi driver who shouted at sexual things at us and one of the young women that I was hanging out with yelled at me, “Enough Laura, don´t shout!”
It is time that women embrace sisterhood, which means unity and mutual support, defend and empower us. These women should understand that when we are harassed on the street it is not because of what we’re wearing. We get harassed because we are women and it is absurd when a woman mistreats another woman over it.
Most Peruvian women with whom I talked do not consider street harassment as violence, because that would imply to recognize themselves as victims and they don´t want to be seen as exaggerated girls who complain about nothing. They think that being a victim is shameful and cowardly, but they forget that “To sin by silence when we should protest make us cowards.”
When we denounce, or worse, when we do not defend, we silence other women. We forget that when a woman defends herself, she is defending all of us, she is shaming and weakening the street harasser that tomorrow might harass you, might harass your daughter, sister or friend. She is making a difference, because that man will think twice before harass another woman because he will realize that not all women remain silent.
We need sisterhood rather than passivity women, sisterhood!
Laura has studied Tourism Management in Universities of Peru and Barcelona, and Gender Studies at the NGO Flora Tristan. You can follow her on Twitter at @laeureka.