Astrid Nikijuluw, Serpong, Banten, Indonesia SSH Blog Correspondent

(English version below)

Catcalling di negara saya merupakan hal yang ‘biasa’ terjadi sehari-hari.  Saking biasanya sampai terkadang menjadi hal yang ‘dimaklumi’.  Terlepas dari apa yang dirasakan para korban yang kebanyakan adalah wanita.   Dulu saya suka berpikir bahwa hal itu terjadi karena hal-hal yang disebabkan oleh kita sendiri seperti misalnya cara berpakaian.  Namun ternyata tidak peduli gaya berpakaian kita, catcalling tetap saja berlaku.

Buat saya pribadi, perlakuan seperti catcalling atau street harassment adalah perlakuan yang sangat mengintimidasi.  Dari merasa terintimidasi akan berkembang menjadi rasa takut.  Padahal semua orang berhak untuk merasa aman apabila berjalan di jalan-jalan umum dan juga tempat-tempat umum lainnya.  Sayangnya hal ini belum terjadi.  Masih banyak para wanita yang merasa risih atau takut apabila harus berjalan melewati kerumunan para lelaki.  Yang akhirnya membuat mereka mengurungkan niatnya ataupun mengambil jalan lain yang lebih jauh namun dianggap lebih aman.

Ada cerita tentang seorang anak perempuan yang selalu diminta oleh ibunya ke pasar untuk membelikan keperluan kakak perempuannya.  Sang ibu merasa tidak aman kalau sang kakak ke pasar sendirian karena banyaknya perlakuan yang tidak menyenangkan dari para lelaki di seputar pasar tersebut.  Anak perempuan ini memang memiliki postur seperti lelaki dengan rambutnya yang dipotong pendek dan gaya berpakaian ala lelaki dengan kaos longgar dan celana pendek atau celana panjang jeans.  Sedangkan kakaknya adalah sosok feminine dengan rambut panjang dan wajah manis yang bisa sangat mungkin untuk di goda.  Setelah dewasa dia pun mengakui bahwa alasan dia bergaya seperti lelaki itu adalah untuk menghindari perlakuan street harassment. Sedangkan sang kakak justru merasa bahwa dia tidak perlu harus ‘dilindungi’, dia bisa melakukannya sendiri.  Rasanya seperti sesuatu yang bagus bukan?  Tetapi sayangnya tidak.  Sang kakak merasa begitu karena menurut dia hal seperti street harassment adalah hal umum atau wajar terjadi apabila pergi ke tempat-tempat umum seperti pasar tradisional. Sehingga timbul pemikiran “cuekin aja”.   Padahal mereka berdua sama-sama tidak setuju dan menentang perlakuan tersebut.

Berdasarkan cerita diatas, saya merasa bahwa mereka berdua sama-sama mengalami psychological effect dari perlakuan street harassment tersebut.  Hanya dengan reaksi yang berbeda.  Apapun itu, adalah satu hal yang jelas bahwa perlakuan seperti ini tidak dapat diterima.  Efek yang ditimbulkan kepada para korban mungkin tidak terlalu ketara dan hal inilah yang membuat catcalling masih merajalela dari sejak jaman dahulu sampai generasi milenial saat ini.  Apakah untuk menghindari perlakuan ini kita harus bergaya seperti lelaki?  Mensugesti diri bahwa ini biasa sehingga “cuekin aja”? Atau mengambil jalan lain yang lebih aman walaupun jauh?

Sayangnya hal seperti street harassment ini masih kurang mendapat perhatian masyarakat.  Isunya belum seramai dibicarakan seperti LGBT, KDRT (Kekerasan Dalam Rumah Tangga) dan kasus sexual harassment lainnya.  Padahal hal ini lebih sering terjadi dan bisa dibilang kejadian sehari-hari.  Saya ingat ada satu ungkapan yang berbunyi kira-kira seperti ini “dosa apabila sudah sering dilakukan akan terasa bukan lagi dosa”.  Saya rasa ungkapan ini sangat tepat menggambarkan perlakuan street harassment.  Terlalu sering dilakukan sehingga seolah-olah sudah diterima menjadi bagian dari kejadian sehari-hari.  Padahal tidak.  Perlakuan ini sangat mengganggu dan menimbulkan efek psikologis bagi korban.  Pertanyaannya adalah sampai kapan kita akan membiarkan hal ini berlangsung? Pemikiran sederhana yang masih sulit untuk dijawab saat ini.

Astrid received her Bachelors of Business at Queensland University of Technology Brisbane Australia. She finished her Master’s Degree at Gadjah Mada University Yogyakarta where she majored in Human Resource Development. Follow her on Twitter at @AstridNiki or on Facebook.

In my country, catcalling is considered a ‘usual’ daily thing, so usual, in fact, that it is seen as ‘ok’ to do even though the victims, usually women, do not like it.  I used to think that this thing happened because of the way we dressed. But in fact, no matter how you try to dress yourself, catcalling can still happen to you.

To me, catcalling, or street harassment, is intimidating and that intimidation can even turn into fear.  Even though every single individual should have the right to feel safe while walking on the street and public places, unfortunately this kind of thing has not yet happened. Many women still feel uncomfortable or scared if they have to walk past some crowd of men. This fear may cause them to not walk past them or prompt them to take another way which is further, but is considered safer for them.

There is a story about a young girl who was always asked by her mother to go to the traditional market and to accompany her sister. The mother felt it was too unsafe for the sister to go to the market by herself because of the inappropriate behavior from some men who hang-out in the market. This young girl had a very masculine appearance, such as having short hair and wearing loose t-shirts and jeans, but her sister presented in a feminine way, like with long straight hair. Later when this young girl had become an adult, she admitted that the reason she dressed like a boy was to avoid street harassment, while her sister felt that she did not need any ‘protection’, and she could do it on her own. In her opinion, street harassment is a common thing that happens, especially in public places such as traditional markets. This leads to a thought of “I don’t give a damn”, while in fact both of them are disagree and against this kind of behavior.

Based on the story above, I feel that both of them are having a psychological response to street harassment, just different ones. Whatever it is, it is still very clear that these kinds of actions are not acceptable. In order to avoid such disturbing behavior, do we have to change our style like a man? Or just accept it and say, “I don’t give a damn? Or go out of our way to take safer though further routes?

Unfortunately, there is a lack of attention in our society to street harassment. The issue does not receive as much attention as LGBT rights, domestic violence, and other types of sexual harassment even though it often happens in our everyday life. I remember a phrase that says, “a sin if constantly repeated is not considered as a sin anymore”.  I think this phrase fits the street harassment behavior. Too often it is repeated as if it is ‘accepted’ as a ‘usual’ everyday behavior. Frankly no! This behavior can have a negative psychological effect on the victim.  The question is, for how long will we allow this street harassment to occur? This is a simple thought yet currently it still is difficult to answer.

Pritha Khanal, Kathmandu, Nepal, SSH Blog Correspondent

There is a common practice of writing slogans or pieces of poems on the back of trucks in Nepal, often called “truck literature”, and it has been making us laugh long before online “memes” became popular. Most of the literature hilariously imitates the native tongues and is filled with sarcasm, while some lines succeed in touching your heart in case you are going through some emotional turmoil.

On the other hand, some lines provoke rage and make you wonder why it is acceptable to write these words which have a clear motivation of mocking women and girls. Are the inappropriate comments the drivers pass not enough — they also have to write these things in huge letters on the back of the tanker? What is it that they want to prove and what message is that they want to convey?

As I was travelling with my family last weekend, I came across this water tanker with these words written with the usual purpose of making everyone laugh (“Darling, Why not smiling?”). I don’t know which part of the line was supposed to be humorous but my instant response was: What the hell is funny in these lines? Why should any “Soltini” (a kinship term where sister of a bride is Soltini to the brother of a groom) smile just because it reads so on the truck?

Things like these which are so common and ignored sometimes really depict what is inherently wrong in the society. In the name of humor and healthy flirting, there are often wrong messages spreading in society. In fact, some Nepalese culture actually cherishes the healthy flirting among their kins and community just like Solti-Soltini, which is good because it keeps the charm in the family alive and it happens with the consent of two adults along with their family. But when the behaviour is done to other girls with the motive of mocking them and making them uncomfortable, it becomes a form of harassment. Just like these lines sound very casual, it is one of the worst comments a girl has to face in the street. It feels creepy and makes us insecure when we hear the words in the street, in the market by a passerby or the groups of guys hanging around the teashops. What makes people think that writing such lines in the public vehicle is appropriate or creative?

Street harassment is part of the chronic form of violence against women. When a boy finds it comfortable and “cool” to tease a girl in the street, he may feel it is okay to grope her or inappropriately touch her in the street.

So how is this “truck literature” related here? It’s because they are written by the ones who are used to passing such comments in the street. They are written by the same drivers/ assistant drivers who laugh with each other when a girl they intentionally harassed frowns her brows but is helpless to react anyway. The same individuals who believe a girl wearing tight shirt is asking for an eagle’s eyes in her cleavage and those wearing short pants are calling for harassment. These lines are the work of harassers and for the harassers.  They are funny to those who find i’ts okay to tease in the cheesiest tone and expect that the girl finds it funny too. Some would laugh hard at the lines and replicate the same to other girls while some would just casually shrug it off. But, rarely one would realize that it may be words of encouragement for fellow harassers and one more girl in the street would be hearing the words.

So what are the measures? Not everyone can stop the vehicles in the heavy flow of traffic and rant against the lines to the driver. But one can discourage such acts. Let us condemn such lines. Let us not promote messages which give the impression of harassment but rather encourage drivers to use such widely visible and effective space for delivering better messages.

Pritha is doing her Master’s degree in Anthropology and her thesis is on the menstruation practice issues among rural teenagers in Nepal. She received a Bachelor’s degree in Social Work. She works in a non-governmental organization focused on women empowerment. Follow her blog www.prithakhanal.com and my Facebook account: @pritha.khanal.